It's the "Put A Smile On Your Face" thread, please contribute
- Thread starter onwardjames
- Start date
Shominy
Lunatic Member
vinowino
Addicted Member
Whose the player?
Is that W.C. Handy
the skipper
Professional Curmudgeon
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He spots a man down below and lowers the balloon to shout: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”
“You must be an engineer” says the balloonist.
“I am” replies the man. “How did you know.”
“Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”
The man below says “You must be a manager.”
“I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problems. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”
The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”
“You must be an engineer” says the balloonist.
“I am” replies the man. “How did you know.”
“Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”
The man below says “You must be a manager.”
“I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problems. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”
screenersam
aka Blind Sugar McGee
slow going without Shominy
the skipper
Professional Curmudgeon
the skipper
Professional Curmudgeon
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay of Fundy, Nova Scotia, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties.
“We know it’s late, sir, but we have some information about your wife,” said one of the Mounties.
“Tell me! Did you find her!?” the husband shouted.
The Mounties looked at each other.
One said: We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news
“Which do you want to hear first?”
Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said: “Give me the bad news first.”
The second Mountie said: “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in the bay.”
“Oh my God!” exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked: “What’s the good news?”
The Mountie continued: “When we pulled her up, she had 6 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 12 good-size lobsters clinging to her.”
Stunned, the husband demanded: “If that’s the good news, what’s the great news???”
The Mountie answered: “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow”.
“We know it’s late, sir, but we have some information about your wife,” said one of the Mounties.
“Tell me! Did you find her!?” the husband shouted.
The Mounties looked at each other.
One said: We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news
“Which do you want to hear first?”
Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said: “Give me the bad news first.”
The second Mountie said: “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in the bay.”
“Oh my God!” exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked: “What’s the good news?”
The Mountie continued: “When we pulled her up, she had 6 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 12 good-size lobsters clinging to her.”
Stunned, the husband demanded: “If that’s the good news, what’s the great news???”
The Mountie answered: “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow”.
screenersam
aka Blind Sugar McGee
the skipper
Professional Curmudgeon
...and then the fight started.
Sharpstik
Stuck in the 70's
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