Stereo solutions to appease a not so understanding spouse

xs650shawn

Active Member
So, how does everybody make their stereo systems tolerable for a not so understanding spouse or significant other? Reason I ask is this- I want to set up a listening area that doesn't involve the TV. Half of my living room/great room is largely unused, and I wanted to set it up as a listening area. Bought a 4x4 Expedit shelf to house my growing vinyl and existing CD collection, was going to put turntable, cd player and receiver on top, with speakers on the side. Wife tells me she doesn't like how it looks. Speakers are too big. I toss the idea of bookshelf speakers and sub, and can even mount speakers to the wall so they are up out of the way. Her response- "there has to be a better way". I mention built-in speakers, to which she also thinks there needs to be a better way. She wants me to have an invisible system. We have no furniture on this side of the room to hide speakers, not that I want them hidden anyway. I might as well move my entire setup to the garage. Ideas? I have included a pic of what I am considering that she is not keen on.
 

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Welp you know, there is an idea of give and take on your sig other's part. Sounds like 'my way or nothing' sort of thing from the way you describe. Sorry, no ideas for a situation like yours other than a for a mutual understanding of needs/wants/loves. Personally, I would lose 60-70% of my experience with an invisible system.

Maybe hide the media and keep the equip tastefully in the open?
 
Get some small speakers (aka Bose-like small) and figure out a way to hide it all if you want it in there.
 
My x-wife had both of our houses looking like pages out of a Pottery Barn/ Ballard Designs catalog. I wasn't really into audio at the time...not seriously, at least. But I did try to assemble a modest home theater rig. Nothing I did really satisfied her and everything was a friggin' compromise. It was that experience that planted the seed for where I am now for I swore, come hell or high water, that one day I would have a bad ass home stereo. When I got my own house one of the first things I did was go out looking for the same Cerwin Vega floorstanders I had in college. That's when the vintage bug bit and now I've gone off the deep end. But even now I don't set up my main rig in the house. Since I have two kids who are with me half the time I didn't wan't expensive gear in the house where they (and visiting friends) are. So, I set aside a 16x20 space in my garage and made it a dedicated listening area. I still have shelves, a workbench, work area, etc. out there, so not like I totally lost its utility. But, I also have a detached two-car garage and a big, covered back patio.....so giving up 75% of the garage wasn't a huge imposition for me.

Look, you gave her the green light to decorate and furnish inside the house however she wanted and have demonstrated respect for her "space". It's time for you to plant your flag out in the garage. You make your contribution to puttin' a roof over everybody's head and have earned a space to call your own.

Just claim it.

Then you can do whatever you want, free of her scrutiny or negative vibes about disrupting her space. If you set up in that living room and conform to her long list of stipulations and listen to her reminders of the "compromises " she's having to make then one day get the bug to start tweaking and upgrading...even just a little bit...you know she's likely gonna' put her foot down (yet again) and the tension between you two starts to build. Avoid all that....go stake your claim elsewhere.

- Michael
 
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I would say, explore whether her core problem is all of the media being visible in the shelving. You could find a unit that's a little lower to the ground and has doors or a cover. If a little narrower, the speakers might be able to slide in along side it and not look too crammed. Or, is the problem that she's just never going to be happy having anything she perceives as "clutter" in that particular room? Then you are probably better off exploring other (nearfield?) options, perhaps in a study or spare bedroom? I have a ton of stereo equipment in play in our house, but I've managed to break it up so it never really takes over a room - tricky to do, though.
 
Sounds like the girlfriend I had when I was first getting into music.

If she is a music fan why don't you buy some music she likes and set up your system when she isn't there make sure she is having a great day and have some of her music spinning when she gets home. Make a nice night of it showing her that a stereo wouldn't just be for you it can be for her too.

In all honesty she probably thinks that your stereo will make the room unfriendly to her (shes afraid she won't be welcome to watch TV if your listening). Just tell her that when she wants to watch TV you will have headphones.
 
So, how does everybody make their stereo systems tolerable for a not so understanding spouse or significant other? Reason I ask is this- I want to set up a listening area that doesn't involve the TV. Half of my living room/great room is largely unused, and I wanted to set it up as a listening area. Bought a 4x4 Expedit shelf to house my growing vinyl and existing CD collection, was going to put turntable, cd player and receiver on top, with speakers on the side. Wife tells me she doesn't like how it looks. Speakers are too big. I toss the idea of bookshelf speakers and sub, and can even mount speakers to the wall so they are up out of the way. Her response- "there has to be a better way". I mention built-in speakers, to which she also thinks there needs to be a better way. She wants me to have an invisible system. We have no furniture on this side of the room to hide speakers, not that I want them hidden anyway. I might as well move my entire setup to the garage. Ideas? I have included a pic of what I am considering that she is not keen on.

A very basic question. How is it that she is the one that calls all the shots?
 
I would say, explore whether her core problem is all of the media being visible in the shelving. You could find a unit that's a little lower to the ground and has doors or a cover. If a little narrower, the speakers might be able to slide in along side it and not look too crammed. Or, is the problem that she's just never going to be happy having anything she perceives as "clutter" in that particular room? Then you are probably better off exploring other (nearfield?) options, perhaps in a study or spare bedroom? I have a ton of stereo equipment in play in our house, but I've managed to break it up so it never really takes over a room - tricky to do, though.

This
 
Are there any other rooms you could use?
Could you have the gear on one room and the speakers in the living room?
 
I don't really have an ideal room in the house to dedicate, with two kids and all. I love the idea of a huge system in the garage, but am not ready to give up my project car yet. Will probably end up expanding the garage in the future. I gave up motorcycles after the kids were born ( boy do I miss those). I think the root of it is a) music is nothing more than background noise for her, and b) she sees it as another expensive hobby of mine, next to cars, guns, tools etc. I was surprised though, when she actually saw it, she was actually kinda into it, as opposed to when it was just an idea. Have to see where it goes. My wife is normally very supportive on things, but my hobbies can get expensive. I think this stereo may actually be the cheapest of them all.
 
I don't really have an ideal room in the house to dedicate, with two kids and all. I love the idea of a huge system in the garage, but am not ready to give up my project car yet. Will probably end up expanding the garage in the future. I gave up motorcycles after the kids were born ( boy do I miss those). I think the root of it is a) music is nothing more than background noise for her, and b) she sees it as another expensive hobby of mine, next to cars, guns, tools etc. I was surprised though, when she actually saw it, she was actually kinda into it, as opposed to when it was just an idea. Have to see where it goes. My wife is normally very supportive on things, but my hobbies can get expensive. I think this stereo may actually be the cheapest of them all.

Perhaps she sees it as another hobby taking up space. Maybe cutting back on something or selling off some of your hobby stuff you know your never going to get around to will help.
 
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