Impending Divorce

Make a list of what you gain and lost by divorce. There will be a period (years?) to find a happy place. Most people are pack animals, how likely are you to find a new companion? Think it through first.
 
It happens to half the population, marriage is strange in that we know what the odds are yet each one of us thinks we are exempt from those odds. The other has to be your best friend, I've been a sucker for a pretty face or even just thinking, "wow! she likes me, that's good enough.", big mistake I've made there at times. I however have never been married, I'm just scared of it, everybody should know the reason why. I do realize it can be an awesome thing to do. Just keep on keepin on! I just walked out the front door a few minutes ago, there was a firetruck and ambulance next door. My neighbor came over one day and said, "Wuz up?" "Oh nothing, what's going on?" "My wife left me. She was going out with 'friends', one night turned into 3 away from the house, then she never came back." I'm just hoping he didn't think things were "that" bad, don't know what's going on over there right now with the ambulance. But, remember that nothing is "that" bad, absolutely nothing. There will be good times again. Local lawyer here represents only men in the central tx area ..Cordell & Cordell. btw, his reco is to be careful what you publicly post online for obvious reasons, all looks good here, just sayin. He started his biz due to his own divorce experience, due to how men usually get the bad end of the deal.
 
For some people Paxil can be the problem not the cure.Trust me, I know.Also there was a major lawsuit years ago against the makers .The side effect list is quite long.Just a thought and something to discuss with a doctor not invested in shutting you up.
 
My background is mental health and there's hope if she's willing to see a psychiatrist and accepts there's a problem. Mental illness is treatable and there's less of a stigma today as in many cases it can be attributed to a chemical imbalance. Placing a person on the "right" meds can make a life changing difference but you will need to be a part of the treatment process as well.
 
went through it about 20 years ago and the one thing I wasn't ready for was how much I'd miss my 2 daughters...every single day.
 
Dude, so sorry to hear what your going through. I like so many have been through this. The only advice I can give is stay away from the sauce. It does NOT help. If possible work off your frustrations in the gym as I did. God has a plan for us all and that includes you too. You may not see it right now but you will. One day at a time. Crank up the stereo!!!!!!
 
> Local lawyer here represents only men in the central tx area ..Cordell & Cordell. btw, his reco is to be careful what you publicly post online for obvious reasons,
Very good point.
> if she's willing to see a psychiatrist and accepts there's a problem. Mental illness is treatable
Yes ... a big IF....
 
@KingBubba I have no words, other than to say I hope for a happy ending to this story for the both of you.

Marriage is betting half your stuff (or far more) that you're going to love someone forever.

I've often thought that the weight, the heft of that commitment, is too heavy for most relationships to bear.

My family (sister) has mental health issues. I suspect that the effect is far more detrimental for those who love the afflicted, than the afflicted themselves, but perhaps that is only vanity.

Lawyer up, and good luck, sir.
 
Thanks for the words gents. The thing is that I am just low right now. This shit has been going on for too many years for me to be much more than low. Living with a depressed person is a study on patience of the other person. I have taken the award for patience, but no longer have it. I am unlikely to try to move on to another. I am just too jaded by the whole thing. I still would like to see my wife get past this, it is just not going to be me that is going to lead the parade. I am on the side lines now, watching which way the teams are moving up the field.
 
Sad news to be reading KB.
From what I can tell many years in the making.

You now have little control and fell helpless and adrift is my guess. Not knowing just what to expect or envision for your future. The fear of the unknown is always a powerful one and full of endless possibilities.
This will pass and may indeed be a rather painful process, full of many ups and downs. Long, longer then expected.

End it will.

Stay strong, you will make it to the other side of this ordeal OK.
 
I learned bad news do not get better over time, and no sense to keep repeating the same movie to look for a different ending. Depending on how many years a person has left, it may be worthwhile to gamble on a fresh start. Mine works out fine so far (life has been kind).
 
Well, nothing has changed up to today. I deal with someone else in the house that is sullen and unwilling to attempt conversation. Everything I have tried to talk about has been met with derision and anger. I am simply trying to start a basic conversation and I am fighting an uphill battle instead.

Tomorrow, I am moving out to a local motel for a while. I am now fighting depression myself and I hate it. I am taking anti-depressants to counteract the issue. It takes 2 weeks for the ADs to kick in. I just don't want to let my anger kick in. I must stay level and calm. When your adversary gets you angry, you have lost the battle.
 
Your certainly not alone. I would try to see if there's a group of divorced guys that meet to offer each other help, advice and talk with someone that's had a similar experience. I feel for you man.
 
At least go and talk to a Lawyer. If I missed the fact you have already sorry.
Finding out options.
May need to be making moves to protect yourself and the wife also.
 
Bubba.....instead of you moving to a motel what about moving her to the doublewide? With her consent of course. Time apart in a comfortable setting may do you both some good. It would certainly lend a different perspective on things. Time spent in a motel will only worsen your depression.

So sorry to hear you dealing with this at this point in life. Find a support group of some sort....lean on friends....family....AK....anything you need to do but don't try to do it alone.
 
KB, I know what it’s like to be married , but with more or less , a housemate only . Yet it appears it’s far worse for you . And undeserving .
You have my sympathy .
 
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