“Your Kung Fu is no good” I am laughing my ass off

Discussion in 'Movies & Television' started by transmaster, Jan 6, 2018.

  1. transmaster

    transmaster AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    Amazon Prime is loaded with all kinds of Really bad Kung Fu movies. A bunch of the Shaw Brother epic’s and other all poorly dubbed in English, crappy Foley work,
    Acting :rflmao::rflmao::rflmao:

    Thump-boom-boom-ah-hut-crash-crash-thump-doom-boom-awe-hut-crash-crash-swoosh-swoosh-clump-clump-ar-ar-toom-toom-thump!

    It doesn’t get any better then this. Pizza beer and hours of; “Your Kung fu is no good I am here to teach you a lesson”.
    :beerchug:
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2018

     

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  2. transmaster

    transmaster AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    The best Kung Fu bad guy. The evil “White Beard”. Who has retractable ‘nads and a vise-grip crotch.

    CC262466-6E5F-45AC-AEB1-627116EADC5B.jpeg
     
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  3. Bruins

    Bruins Active Member

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    This stuff is to funny :rflmao:
     
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  4. Falstaff

    Falstaff Super Member

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    Ooh,, Priest Pai Mei. He was a baddie in several of the films played by the great Lo Lieh. Interesting in that photo, the young fighter is Jin-Hsi Shin aka; Gordon Liu, from the famed 36th Chamber films, who later played Pai Mei in the Kill Bill Movies.

    Yeah...I was a kung fu nerd back in the day. Remember seeing kung fu theater on Saturday afternoons in the 80s. Thanks for pointing this out. Be a hoot to check these out again.
     
  5. blhagstrom

    blhagstrom Mad Scientist, fixer. Subscriber

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    We aren't Kung Fu fans.
    We've been surfing YouTube for bad Sci-Fi.

    Found some actually good things but also some really bad Japanese Sci-Fi that is a hoot to watch and comment on.
    We have our own Mystery Science Theater 3000 thing going on in the evenings.
    We stream it to the TV with Chromecast and munch on snacks.

    Years ago, on air TV, there was a really bad Godzilla on the Spanish channel with sub titles of some type.
    Watching the mouths move and the Spanish overloaded dialog was hilarious.

    Try watching those Kung Fu in Spanish.
     
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  6. teal'c

    teal'c It's all moo

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    PlutoTV is a free video streaming app that has a Fists of Fury channel streaming kung fu movies 24/7.
     

     

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  7. botrytis

    botrytis Trying not to be a Small Speaker Hoarder Subscriber

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    Jean Claude Van Johnson is pretty funny too. JCVD makes fun of all his movies and his 'famous splits'. Really an excellent show.
     
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  8. NAD80

    NAD80 Super Member

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    Remember that guy, can't remember the movie. The English dubbing was bad. But that's what made it good to watch. Godzilla dubbed in Spanish sounds insane.
     
  9. transmaster

    transmaster AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    There is one Kung Fu movie were there was a evil warlord. I kid you not he was dubbed by somebody effecting a Texas accent. I almost died I was laughing so hard.
     
  10. onwardjames

    onwardjames Hoardimus Maximus Subscriber

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    Used to have a buddy who ran a small video store (remember those?). He stocked an entire wall with shit kung fu movies, and they rented like fire.

    We had a drinking game - it went like this -

    1) If someone said they were about to "teach you a lesson", that was a shot.
    2) If someone insulted another's kung fu, such as the infamous line "YOUR KUNG FU IS USELESS!", then you had to finish your beer.
    3) When that most popular insult of "You bastard!" came up, you had to crack open ANOTHER beer.

    and finally,

    4) When someone quoted their specific brand of kung fu, and IT HAD A NUMBER IN IT, you had to chug an entire beer. Example - The 18 deadly kicks, the 3 fist style, etc.

    God, I miss those days.
     
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  11. transmaster

    transmaster AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    There was a show where they dubbed in English on the Japanese monster movies. It was sort of like MSFT3000 on steroids. There was a scene with a cigarette smoking Japanese newspaper reporter. A one point he walked up to one of the ladies; Hi there I am a handsome and incredibly well hung reporter want to go out with me. I was literally on the floor I was laughing so hard. The kids in the movie all had adult voices. I sure wish I could see that movie again. It is hard to remember a movie when you are suffering from laughing induced anoxia.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2018
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  12. onwardjames

    onwardjames Hoardimus Maximus Subscriber

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    @ transmaster, I too, have experienced that with some episodes of MST3k. You actually fear for your health because you cannot stop braying like a donkey.

    Being drunk and high only makes it worse, or so I'm told. :beatnik::rflmao:
     
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  13. BillJGW

    BillJGW Active Member

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    A little off-topic but I couldn't resist. @onwardjames, back in the day, some friends and I had a similar drinking game when watching Star Trek TOS. For instance, whenever Scotty mentioned anything about the dilithium crystals, you had to take a healthy swig. Same with Kirk saying "Bones..." in that disparaging way of his, and many more. A fun way to spend an evening.

    Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
     
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  14. onwardjames

    onwardjames Hoardimus Maximus Subscriber

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    I tried finding that kung fu section, but Amazon's layout baffles me. What a mess. I'll keep at it, because I must know the secret to the 18 deadly kicks!
     
  15. transmaster

    transmaster AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    The way it works on Amazon you put in the title to one such movie, Flag of Iron, 5 Shaolin Masters, The Deadly Duo, etc.
    look at the bottom and it has; "Customers also watched".

    I get a kick out of the reviews of some of these movies, "This could be the greatest Kung fu movie ever made". You watch it and it isn't any different then the last one you watched.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2018
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  16. MaxxVolume

    MaxxVolume AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    Back in the early `80s, I used to work Saturdays until 2:30 pm. My guilty pleasure was to come home and tune into the 3 o`clock "Chop Socky" films on Channel 11...."Kung Fu Of The Seven Drunkards", and all others like it were equally hilarious....due to inadequate screen-ratio adjustment, in the beginning of these films, everybody looked like they were eight feet tall.
    A few hits of N2O off the Reddi-Whip can enhanced the fun.... :)
     
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  17. transmaster

    transmaster AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    It is available on Amazon Prime Video and I have added it
    '
    [​IMG]
     
  18. transmaster

    transmaster AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    Watching Kung Fu of the 8 drunkards (1970) holycow this one is really bad maybe the worst Kung Fu movie I have yet seen, it is awful. The sound track is even bad it must have been on sale at the bootleg shop. The English dubbing sounds like it was done over the phone.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2018
  19. soundboy

    soundboy Super Member

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    He's actually known as Bak Mei, which translates to Chinese as "White Eye Brow". The Wikipedia entry below is a very interesting read....

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bak_Mei

    I was born and grew up in Hong Kong during the early to mid 70s, therefore I am familiar with the Bak Mei character since he was always the villain in TV series and movies dealing with the destruction of the Shaolin Temple. Gordon Liu was only one of many in a long line of actors who have played that character.

    The below video is from the 1981 Hong Kong TVB production of "The Young Heroes of Shaolin" that was shown in the US on one of the Spanish language networks, i.e. Univision. The series featured familiar Kung Fu movie characters such as Fong Sai-Yuk (a character most famously portrayed to audiences in the West by Jet Li) and Yim Wing-Chun (name sake of the style of kung fu taught by Ip Man, master to Bruce Lee).



    The series featured Stephen Tung as Fong Sai-Yuk. You may remember a very young Stephen Tung from the below clip from Bruce Lee's "Enter The Dragon"....



    Stephen Tung is currently one of the top action directors/choreographers in Hong Kong.
     
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  20. soundboy

    soundboy Super Member

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    Btw, up until the late 80s or so, very few Hong Kong actors spoke their lines in their movies. Even in their native Cantonese, the likes of Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung have some other voice actors (always uncredited) dub in their lines. I remember seeing Sammo Hung presenting an award on TV, and his voice was completely different from what I heard (in Cantonese) in his movies.

    Since Shaw Bros. Studios was mentioned, it should be noted that Mona Fong, who ran both Shaw Bros. Studios and TVB, died in November 2017. She was married to Sir Run Run Shaw, who co-produced the original "Blade Runner" movie. I wonder if Ms. Fong will be noted during the "In Memorium" segment of the Oscars, as did her late husband.
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2018

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