If it is only a "sometimes" thing then that is often due to an FM phenomenon called "Multipath", where in because FM signals are basically line-of-sight in nature, the antenna can receive the same signal at two slightly different times. To the receiver, this represents two of the same signal, but slightly out of phase with each other, causing what you observe -- once again, showing why the antenna is so important in receiving good FM MPX Stereo.
It honestly sounds like you've done about as good a job as can be done without precision alignment equipment, and particularly if you are getting signal strength readings of 4 now. When you started, it was producing readings of what, 2.5? And with the touchy-tuning, ringing- sound stereo? I've got to believe your receiver is performing well, delivering waaaay better FM and FM MPX Stereo performance than when you first started this trek!
Dave