Any Friends of Bill W here @ AudioKarma

Discussion in 'General Off Topic Forums' started by johnny_fever, Feb 15, 2007.

  1. Dave_1962

    Dave_1962 Lunatic Member

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    The toughest part of quitting drugs and alcohol may not even be the substances themselves - that's bad enough. For many it is the people in those circles that most will continue to be involved with every day. People at work, people you think are friends, a family member. People you don't think you can cut out of your life. People telling you how hard it is to quit when really they just don't want you to succeed. Same people who don't have a clue how hard it is because they've either never quit or maybe went a few days or a couple weeks or months one time. Why? Because if and when you succeed in your pursuit of sobriety then they are left looking in the mirror having to examine themselves and their own reasons for giving in to the drink or the drug. They do not like that. Much easier to grind on the one trying to go straight than to grow a pair and quit. Sure they will wish you well but they won't make it easier for you to do by quitting themselves. Their habit is more of a priority than their relationship with you. Misery loves company - it doesn't want people leaving. I realized that in order for me to quit drinking and drugs I had to disassociate from everyone I knew who did drink or did drugs. No easy task for me as a houseframer who was a regular downtowner in my time off.

    There was booze and dope all day long at work and all night long afterwards. Every single person I knew was a substance abuser. Meeting women meant "Make the bar before last call and fill her up with alcohol". In order to change my lifestyle I had to change my address and give up all my so called friends. I didn't change occupation but I never again worked for the guy who buys beers for his workers or fires up the doobie on break. I also got laid a lot less when I stopped going to bars but when I did hook up we'd be sober and it was waaay better. There's women in libraries looking for sober guys! Yeah it was tough but I knew I was tougher. I moved out of town - took a country apartment after making sure the neighbor was straight and never called any "buddies" any more. When you realize all you have in common with some people is the drink or the drug - it's time to quit them as well as the substance. The old saying "Misery loves company" is in full effect when you quit in the presence of people who have no intention of doing so. If you want to give up losing you will also have to give up losers. And wouldn't you know it - not one of the people I used to associate with has ever called to see how I was doing or say they missed me.

    So if you're quitting drugs and quitting alcohol why not quit fools while you're at it? I'm not talking about fellow sufferers at AA meets either - that's different - like minded people who are on the road to sobriety can help. I'm talking about the ones who don't think daily drinking or drug use is a problem for them or think that they are "handling it" (not their attempt at sobriety but handling their daily functions while drinking or doing drugs) or worse the enablers who keep offering a taste to you because they forgot you quit. Sure they did. Just my 2ยข based on experience.
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2017
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  2. pfcs49

    pfcs49 Phil Subscriber

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    Lot of truth in that post, Dave! AA is simple: all you need to do is not use one day at a time........................and change everything about your life, including reality!
    More than not drinking, my experience has been of learning how to be an adult human.
    The care and feeding of Phil 101!

    At every meeting this way of being gets modeled and assimilated. I thought I was pretty smart: I could rebuild complicated electronic BMW transmissions and run a successful business, but when I first heard HALT (Hungry Angry Lonely Tired-you need to handle these when the come up), I wanted to write it on my palm lest I forget it before I got home to write it down. Not too long after I had an epiphany! Why was this new information to this sophisticated 36 year old? Because I never, for whatever reasons, assimilated the basic information a seven year old should have! I was a child masquerading as an adult. There was much to learn. Reality! What a concept!
     
  3. rajoo

    rajoo Less pixels more decibels Subscriber

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    Great post Dave and I do like what you wrote, especially this: "If you want to give up losing you will also have to give up losers."
    My grand sponsor once told me that "we get to build a new life one day at a time", and I absolutely bought into this and still do.
     
  4. Dave_1962

    Dave_1962 Lunatic Member

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    Yep it gets lonely at times but another great quote keeps me in check. "If you lay down with dogs you come up with fleas." I learned that one from my ex and later learned it was said by Benjamin Franklin.

    I'd rather feel lonely than be around people who make me feel alone. So if I have to be alone at least I will have my self respect.


    Another great one who inspires me to stay sober:

    lonely.jpg
    The point of this post is to inspire people to read quotes as inspiration for sobriety or any other adversity they may face. It's amazing how many great quotes seem to fit to a tee when struggling with life. You can sense that the author of a fitting quote has "been there". I think that's because they have been there.

    It also occurs to me that they have left quotes behind for others who are facing the trials and tribulations that they once did in order to reach out and help - knowing they weren't the only ones struggling and that the human condition would apply to those to follow for the rest of all time.

    I find it very helpful to have a couple quotes framed and hanging on the wall to read when it gets tough and I swap 'em out periodically. I personally am partial to the quotes of Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln and Robin Williams.

    "It is the measure of a man that he can admit when he's wrong. And I have been catastrophically wrong."
    You guessed it - Abraham Lincoln
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2017
  5. johnny_fever

    johnny_fever Walk tall & carry a big G Subscriber

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    This is like sharing a long mtg. You start it up and let the people around the table run it home. Nothing beats experience like this. I picked my original sponsor who had 5 years. At that time I believed he could walk on water LOL. Of course I am kidding but was still amazed how people could go years without drinking.
    Dave_1662 Yes I was addicted to the lifestyle for sure. You hit that on the head & the bit about Fools perfect. One way to put off old friends is start inviting them to AA mtgs.
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2017
  6. pfcs49

    pfcs49 Phil Subscriber

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    Dave: "It is the measure of a man that he can admit when he's wrong. And I have been catastrophically wrong."
    You guessed it - Abraham Lincoln

    That's the tenth step: Continued taking personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it
    My family ate under-achievers, and as a consequence, young Phil learned how to lie and bend truth in order to survive.
    When I came to AA, I think the 10th step came to me before the first one. Here was a tribe/new family who loved me as long as I told the truth!
    I could be wrong and they still valued me. I could be authentically human finally.
     
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  7. dcmfan

    dcmfan AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    I think a lot of us can relate...:D
     
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  8. johnny_fever

    johnny_fever Walk tall & carry a big G Subscriber

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    My sponsor said you work the10th step till the 10th step works you. Word LOL
     
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  9. datafone

    datafone Super Member

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    About 25 years here.
    Bill and his crossover cousins helped me for the first several years of that.
     
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  10. johnny_fever

    johnny_fever Walk tall & carry a big G Subscriber

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    awesome dude
     
  11. pfcs49

    pfcs49 Phil Subscriber

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    Interesting how this conversation lights up periodically, then goes dormant again.
    Makes me wonder what would happen if we picked a "meeting time" and see if we all expected a conversation to start around that time, would one happen?
    Maybe the first X day of each month? and see what happens?
    Comments, Please
     
  12. BigElCat

    BigElCat AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    We are in the gray area of Tradition 11...anonymity at the level of press, radio, and TV.

    I don't think we should use "Alcoholics Anonymous" if we do a recovery meeting at a scheduled time on the net.

    I'm not anonymous any more. I've posted my name, etc on AK.
     
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  13. pfcs49

    pfcs49 Phil Subscriber

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    If it ain't broke, don't fix it :)
    I wasn't expecting we'd call it an AA meeting and not doing it on anything other than here (AK) in this thread.
    But we are what we are and it'll be way it'll be :)

    PS: I don't think it violates tradition 11.(especially if there is no AA connection/not called an AA group)
    Tradition 11 discourages AAs from becoming recognizable and or heroic using media, so if they fail, it is publicly and well recognized. I don't think this little niche will be very public; I've seen very few here that didn't belong here. Also, there are plenty of AA groups on the net.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2017
  14. johnny_fever

    johnny_fever Walk tall & carry a big G Subscriber

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    Yes this post goes hot & cold. I always start posting here right before my anniversary. Then afterwards it dies out. Some people chime in afterwards to share their anniversaries. I will admit being a little nervous about originally posting this question. After all it was only my 4th post & I didn't know how well it was gonna go over. As far as the 11th tradition I understand people fail & why shine a bad light on AA. But on the other hand what better way to inform the public about AA than Press radio TV and now Internet. As long as were not spokesmodels for AA I think were good. Good points pfcs49
     
  15. dcmfan

    dcmfan AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    The topic is "Relationships"

    [​IMG]

    I pass...
     
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  16. pfcs49

    pfcs49 Phil Subscriber

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    Some of my best meetings never had a topic-they just happened.
     
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  17. johnny_fever

    johnny_fever Walk tall & carry a big G Subscriber

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    only takes a couple of us. That and some coffee. I once ended a bad relationship in 12 steps & 12 days. A real 12 & 12 life lesson
     
  18. meggy

    meggy AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    I have a relative who at 6 mo sober has decided to get engaged to another AA'er, also with less than a year of sobriety. She knows it's considered a bad idea but I'm sure she's getting the lost rush that used to come with drinking. Which is the point she's really missing.
     
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  19. ilusndweller

    ilusndweller Addicted Member

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    Ive learned that life is so much easier, cheaper, and most importantly better without alcohol. Thanks everyone and prayers and thoughts for those still suffering like I was just 2.5 years ago. One day at a time.
     
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  20. Nixxuz

    Nixxuz New Member

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    Sober for 120 days here shortly.
     
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