Any Friends of Bill W here @ AudioKarma

Discussion in 'General Off Topic Forums' started by johnny_fever, Feb 15, 2007.

  1. costerdock

    costerdock Super Member

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    I pick up my 3 month chip on Saturday. I've unplugged all my hifi gear about a month or so back since I haven't been using it - and we are in the midst of monsoon season. I mull the idea of selling it all off since it was a major part of my drinking - my music room looks like a shrine to alcohol. How do others deal with it?

    Thanks.
     
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  2. sberger

    sberger Hard Core Geezer Subscriber

    Congratulations!! A year and 9 months plus here.

    I've actually got more into music since quitting drinking. Listening to a lot more new stuff, ears open to anything. Before, I tended to only listen to the stuff that I was most familiar to when drinking, and had no interest in finding new stuff like I did when I was younger. So give yourself a chance. Don't sell your gear. Go through your collection and look for things that you found that you loved to listen to when your were drinking and move them out of the space, and maybe bring them down to the local store and trade them for some new stuff. Music that is completely new, that requires fresh ears. You have started a new journey and there's no reason that music can't be part of it.

    Good luck!
     
  3. Pio1980

    Pio1980 AK Member Subscriber

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    (35 years)
    Cessation of mind altering substances hasn't eliminated my enjoyment of home audio music, but it has affected specific choices and preferences.
    This is a day to day personal recalibration of priorities in how we live and interact with ourselves, others, and the world as it is, knowing our strengths and weaknesses. Living clean and sober a day at a time opens our lives to possibilities to be discovered, don't look back with regret but never forget what brought you here, look forward with eager anticipation for joys yet to experience with full clarity.
     
  4. pfcs49

    pfcs49 Phil Subscriber

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    If you're afraid that your system (stereo) is a trigger, then I'd be OK with avoiding it for a while.
    As we cross that border between alcoholism and sobriety, we are making a huge behavioral change! A lot of things become uncomfortable or strange.
    We have no experience in how to live this new life; most of our past was informed by our drinking, which actually worked when we started it, but has become our un-doing now as we step onto the firm ground of sobriety, there is confusion about how we should "be" and do, and finally, who am I really?
    My two cents? Easy does it, but do it.
    Every time you are confronted with a decision, think it through, use sponsor or the community for reflection, and do the next right thing. Think think think-but don't forget, sometimes you can't make sense out of nonsense!! (nonsense being the ongoing lack of sanity left over from our former existence) Sometimes when I ask myself a question about my behavior or someone else, I have to remember, often the answer to "why" is "because I'm an alcoholic! (and it's still informing some of my thinking), not some deep psychology!
    There were many things that went together with booze and pot: cigarettes, coffee, and music. Also, shame, humiliation, headaches, and all kinds of damage or debris to try to clean up.
    My hunch? Don't sell the stuff. It can probably be an almost spiritual source for you down the road. Mine is. I used to get liquored-up and bring my trumpet to peoples gigs and play along uninvited-then deal with the self disgust and loathing the next day. How many speakers did I burn out while drinking, how many records fucked up?

    Today music is central to my sober life. And I'm responsible for it. I study and practice, and when i go to a jam session, it has integrity now. People like me. I feel accepted and a part of where I used to feel apart from. And I really LISTEN to it. Go figure!

    Thanks for indulging me, and thank you Costerdock, for sharing. Just keep coming and growing. Everything will work out OK.
     
  5. Dave_1962

    Dave_1962 Lunatic Member

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    I cope with it by reminding myself things could be worse - I could be drunk but I'm not - 12 yrs sober no AA or 12 stepping - then I crank up my crusty old rock albums and I smile - I survived it all. But yes I recall a "separation" period when I first quit drinking I didn't rock out for a good couple of years for the very reason you express - the association to drinkin'. That will eventually go away so stay strong brother we are all pulling for you and rock on!
     
  6. meggy

    meggy AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    Steady as she goes, costerdock. Decision making at 3 months is pretty tenuous, at best. You need to do what you need to do but your music room didn't make you drink. You might think about taking it all apart and putting it back together again in a completely different setup. Take everything out of the room, get rid of the clutter, toss out a few trigger points, and re-assemble it back into a new working entity. Kind of like what you're doing with yourself right now. It'll definitely keep your mind busy in a positive, constructive way. See how you feel about it after that.
     

     

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  7. stish

    stish AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    Selling off your system seems to me like one of those big decisions best put off until some time has passed and clarity returned. It's not on the level of marriage/divorce, move to a now city, or quit a job but it is still a key part of your life. If it makes you uneasy then by all means let it rest. If you still have no interest in it down the road, selling it off will still be an option. During the first 15 of my 31 years, I not only renewed my interest in audio, but also took in more live performances than I ever had. As some health issues have caught up with me, I have found my love of music and quality sound enhance my quality of life.
     
  8. costerdock

    costerdock Super Member

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    Thanks everyone - very good advice. I think my plan is to definitely hold onto it - and likely sell off when I'm in retirement mode to earn a few extra bucks. I mean - I have an entire IKEA expedite full of records - that I can really only listen to after a few drinks.

    I still enjoy music and have Pandora running via BT to a cheap little 100.00 tube contraption - via Cambridge Soundworks sub/sat.

    But man - the old days of opening a new record - pouring a glass, dusting it off - and placing it on the turntable - to sit down and.. It was a ritual for sure.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2018
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  9. stish

    stish AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    I get that. With time, you may find the ritual (without pouring a glass) is again special. I did. Best of luck on your journey.
     
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  10. costerdock

    costerdock Super Member

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    Thanks - yeah the first time I quite drinking - for about 6 months - I was using the stereo and records for reading background music - was really nice - so when I have more time (retirement) it will likely be a fantastic hobby once again.
     
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  11. onwardjames

    onwardjames Hoardimus Maximus Subscriber

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    First, there is some amazing stories and advice here. I applaud all of you.

    Second, please don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. I am a HUGE fan of cannabis, and I like to drink as well. Luckily, I just don't have that unstoppable urge. I'm very lucky, in that alcoholism runs on my mom's side of the family. I too enjoy the ritual....but I love music more than that.

    Considering another career change, so I'm on the wagon with my herb at the moment. Meh. I still enjoy my tunes.

    Hang in there, one day at a time, costerdock.
     
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  12. ETLS

    ETLS metacarpophalangealcranium Subscriber

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    Glad to hear you're reaching milestones on your new pathway. You're young in your sober path, so don't go making too many major changes in your life.
     
  13. costerdock

    costerdock Super Member

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    Thanks - yeah my sponsor wise cracked about my new car.
     
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  14. 91r100gs

    91r100gs Lunatic Member

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    Congrats on your 3 month chip. It is a long and worthy road, and each day brings new rewards. 9 months weed free here and I am recognizing those rewards more every day. Stay strong and savor the rewards
     
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  15. pfcs49

    pfcs49 Phil Subscriber

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    OnwardJ: Considering another career change, so I'm on the wagon with my herb at the moment. Meh. I still enjoy my tunes

    Sober ~35 years, pot still beckons. Like a sober kid said when he heard my stereo: "Man! If I had this rig, I'd want to smoke dope again!"
     
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  16. www.records

    www.records Quality over Quantity

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    Coasterdock, congrats on getting your 90 day chip, that is a big deal. If you are uncomfortable and feel your stereo is a trigger, then either don't turn it on or pack it away for a while. Keep concentrating on your recovery and down the road you will know what to do. To thine own self be true my friend.
     
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  17. onwardjames

    onwardjames Hoardimus Maximus Subscriber

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    Proud of the 35 years of sobriety, man. That's an accomplishment.

    But.....and this is strictly your business.....I would think cannabis could provide a wealth of comfort and pleasure, especially with your scenario.

    Again, not any of my bees wax, just curious.

    Anyway, rock on, sir.
     
  18. pfcs49

    pfcs49 Phil Subscriber

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    After 3 years, I quit college and began my free-cycling lifestyle.
    I drank wine and beer and became a pot-head. It was early seventies and believe it or not, but under Nixon there was much hope for legalization!
    I was a pot proselytizer-people were saying it was an entry drug and lead to harder stuff, and I would tell them that pot was better than alcohol.
    I could function on pot. I'd tried every drug imaginable (never injected though) and pot was no gateway drug! All I did was smoke dope!
    Slowly, I moved more into the alcohol domain, drinking at least a bottle of wine a night. The big wooden salad bowl with dope in it got left with a sifter up on the top shelf.
    If someone wanted to smoke, I'd get it down and partake, but it was now a back burner thing.

    When my wife of 13 years demanded a divorce in 1983, I hit bottom.
    I went to my first AA meeting soon thereafter and was sober by the start of 84.
    I re-started my life; it was as if I was born again (still an atheist!)
    About a year later, it was Saturday and I was at the noon meeting in the basement of the Dover Presbyterian Church. I had an epiphany.
    And I realized, pot IS a gateway drug!
    Here I was, former pot-head, now an alcohol addict.

    There's a lot of talk about cannabis use for neurogenic pain (which most spinal injuries will have and isn't really treatable with opioids or most pain protocols; I suffer daily from it)
    I'm on the sidelines. Perhaps if they come up with a variety that has NO mental effect I could do that, but any mood altering is a problem where I will not go.
    I am active on the Rutgers spinal site and this stuff is much discussed. Stay tuned.

    But I can never forget that I am powerless over drugs/alcohol, i.e: any mood altering substance.
    It is by accepting and acknowledging our powerless-ness that we get our power back.
    A fundamental paradox of sobriety of which there are many!
    Once I take my power back (over substances), intoxication is inevitable, at least for addict/alcoholics!
     
  19. johnny_fever

    johnny_fever Walk tall & carry a big G Subscriber

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    Costerdoc. Congrats on the 3 months. Thats huge. We all had to learn how to enjoy music sober. But like others said its doable. If you need to give it a break thats fine. I would not sell the equipment. You may regret it later. I'm always blown away by all the great comments & advise here. And I love when people chime in with their amounts of sobriety. My sponsor said hang with the winners.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2018 at 10:37 AM
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  20. meggy

    meggy AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    Big time Congrats on the 3 months costerdoc. That is huge. You believed in yourself and you made it happen.
     
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