Darwin Awards - I think they are this years ...

Walt

Well-Known Member
DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES:_
_
1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two_feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys._

2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100 foot high cliff on his daily run._

3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting_in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed,_
burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used_their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked
on._ Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital._

4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor._

5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was wearing._

6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr, 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger._

7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in_ the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles._

DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS:_
_
1. In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a
millipede with a shot from his 22 calibre rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull._

2. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out_ cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house._

3. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed._
_
RUNNER UP:_
_
TACOMA, WA - Kerry Bingham, had been drinking with several friends_when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma_Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am._ Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had_brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot ff at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and_was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said Bingham,
"is_that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located._

_AND THE WINNER:_

PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly-and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an_olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along,
and during that time he suffocated. "It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that happen." What a shitty way to die._


:)
 
LMAO!!

Walt,
Even Myself trying could not get into the high caliber of people in this post. I have tried in the past and could not acheive this state.
Now I hpoe you are proud about the pain you have caused me from laughing at this.
The Darwin awards are always a great hit in this house.
Being biologicaly redundent and knowing it has lead to a lot of great merth about the involintary volanteers that are such great
fun as they remove themselves from the gene pool.
 
I have a friend who would have drowned in an 6" deep puddle in the front of his house when he passed out drunk and fell into it if not dragged from its swampy depths by the police :D
 
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