Divorce

Hey rushfan! Great to hear you are doing well, as I recall you were in a similar boat around the same time.

I guess I did leave the dating part out, but not much to talk about there.

I know what you mean about the Red Pill. I kinda see things that way lately, but I'm taking the 'mgtow' path more than the 'game' path. I take from the self improvement aspect, but I'm not using that to get anywhere with the ladies, just for my own benefit. I'm keeping an open mind, but there's not much I need from a woman in my life these days. After 22 years (would have been our 25th this year, yikes) I'm enjoying doing my own thing.

I have a friend-girl who I enjoy quality time with, and activities, but I'm not committing any time soon. She is great and we have feelings going on, but she has kids and understands that helping to raise someone else's kids is not my cup of tea. Plus we both appreciate having our own separate place to call home. Not sharing bills etc takes a lot of stress out of things.

I put no effort into meeting other women, I'm just not into most of what I see available, whether it be physically, attitude or both.

Occasionally a lady will be flirty with me (like at the 2 day first aid course I just took). But I usually just pretend I don't know what they are up to and let it fall flat. "Drinks after? No thanks, I gotta go buy cat food" haha.

I'm good with hanging out with the girl once a week or so, and being on my own otherwise. Maybe that will change someday, but for now it's nice.

This is music to my ears :music:

Separate residences is the way to go, IMO. It's hard to miss somebody when they're around all of the time and you don't get bogged down in silly "who left the cap off the toothpaste?" arguments. I don't know that I'll ever cohabitate with a woman again, knowing what I know now.

You're WAY further along in the healing process than I suspected. Bravo!!
 
One of the more serious, heartfelt threads on this entire site.

Props to you, Sleep. You've soldiered on, and found your new groove. As for the "mgtow" I completely understand. Those who haven't bothered to research the philosophy call it backwards, insensitive, and worst, misogynistic.

Sorry, but that's a load of SJW tripe. There are some VERY big issues that we, as a society, need to face head-on. But that's for another thread.

I wish you well, and do what your heart tells you to do.
 
Welcome back Sleep. I am new, and did not know you, but it sounds like you are doing as well as can be expected.

What does your system look like these days?
 
Hey rushfan! Great to hear you are doing well, as I recall you were in a similar boat around the same time.

I guess I did leave the dating part out, but not much to talk about there.

I know what you mean about the Red Pill. I kinda see things that way lately, but I'm taking the 'mgtow' path more than the 'game' path. I take from the self improvement aspect, but I'm not using that to get anywhere with the ladies, just for my own benefit. I'm keeping an open mind, but there's not much I need from a woman in my life these days. After 22 years (would have been our 25th this year, yikes) I'm enjoying doing my own thing.

I have a friend-girl who I enjoy quality time with, and activities, but I'm not committing any time soon. She is great and we have feelings going on, but she has kids and understands that helping to raise someone else's kids is not my cup of tea. Plus we both appreciate having our own separate place to call home. Not sharing bills etc takes a lot of stress out of things.

I put no effort into meeting other women, I'm just not into most of what I see available, whether it be physically, attitude or both.

Occasionally a lady will be flirty with me (like at the 2 day first aid course I just took). But I usually just pretend I don't know what they are up to and let it fall flat. "Drinks after? No thanks, I gotta go buy cat food" haha.

I'm good with hanging out with the girl once a week or so, and being on my own otherwise. Maybe that will change someday, but for now it's nice.

There's a whole list of emotions experienced in a divorce. It's not unusual to see individuals swap places with some of those emotions. Anger is not an usual emotion though it is often suppressed by the one hoping for reconciliation... latent. Still... it's there. Mixed for an AM radio playing through a 6x9 dashboard speaker, the song is hot as the singer. Timi Yuro delivers it as though she's in the moment.

Take care Sleep. You're okay.... and excuse me for saying... but she isn't.
 
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What does your system look like these days?

Not bad. An older Luxman as a preamp, Rotel power amp, Tascam CD as transport, a Sony DAC, decent Pioneer TT and Paradigm speakers. I have other gear I rotate in/out.

I live in an old house that is divided into 3 apartments, I have the servants quarters, so no shared hallway or anything, like a little house glued on to the back of the big place. My neighbors like their music decently loud, so I can turn it up as loud as I like more or less, which is something I was worried about when we had to sell our house.
 
I use a Rotel power amp too, sounds like a cool apartment you have there. And decent neighbors as well, not many apartment dwellers can crank the tunes at will. :)
 
I use a Rotel power amp too, sounds like a cool apartment you have there. And decent neighbors as well, not many apartment dwellers can crank the tunes at will. :)

Yup, very lucky. The building is clean and well taken care of for almost 200 years old. Landlord was Fire Captain for 25 years, so the renovations include decent wiring and stuff. My place is 2 stories, high ceilings, big windows and a view thats pretty much mature cedars and the back yard. The girl in the one apartment even likes similar music (I like a lot of stuff but 70s 80s 90s alternative music is a big favorite).
 
Sounds pretty ideal, probably minimal traffic noise, nobody in an apartment above or below you, lots of space for audio gear. :) It is important to be comfortable and able to relax at home.
 
Sounds pretty ideal, probably minimal traffic noise, nobody in an apartment above or below you, lots of space for audio gear. :) It is important to be comfortable and able to relax at home.
Exactly! Comfort is key.
 
Good Job Sleep! It's a nightmare sometimes brotha but worth the fight!

It has been a fight. When I look at the first couple of pages of this thread it comes back to me how hard it was. I still have days where it sucks to think about the rejection and all that, but life is pretty good now.

I kinda like that she was making overtures re: me going to her place and that I basically said thanks, but no thanks. Petty? Maybe.
 
Good for you Sleep! I wouldn't go back to my x-wife or even visit her for all of the high end audio gear in the world. If she suddenly decided that she was a lesbian, I wouldn't wish her on herself!
 
Ya, as much as part of me would like to hang out with her, it's the previous her I would want to see, not the person she is now.

It would be nice to see the dog again, she did offer to not be around...but I think the pain of that would outweigh the gain. Makes me sad but so would saying goodbye again. Whats in the past will stay there.

Gotta keep moving on with life right?
 
I have friends who were married, divorced, married and divorced their second spouse, then got back together and re-married.

It can happen.
 
I've been doing the single gig for almost 11 years. Ex constantly did her own thing as far as other guys; the last go around, I got tired and told her we were done. She took off on Christmas Day 2006 leaving me the kids. They're grown now. I had nightmares up until a year or two ago that I was still with her and still going through the same crap. It's not anything I'd wish on anyone. She buried the guy she left me for today. He and I had long since made our peace, him even telling one of my kids he understood what I was going through. She's already got her new life planned out according to my kids. He's barely in the ground and she's going to Six Flags in St. Louis and a ballgame! Wow!
 
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