Get the amp of your dreams, then this happens. Life is fickle.

[harman/kardon]

Oh Tim - I am so very so sorry to hear about the health troubles your Mother got into. I will dedicate my today's meditation to you and to your mother.

 

[IPADave]

Thinking positive thoughts for your mom, sister, and you. These are stressful times. Reconciling with your sister will hopefully relieve some of that stress.

-Dave

 

[savatage1973]

I am not sure that I've ever felt what I experienced when I put my arm around my kid sister today.

I'm a few years older than you (OK--decade or so), but you just learned a couple of the most important lessons of your life. Family is family--love it or hate it, but it's yours. And, more importantly, it takes a lot of energy (negative energy) to hold a "grudge"--and it wears on YOU. I used to always say that I "held a grudge with both hands"--now I don't, and I don't have to spend that energy on the negative. For better or worse, things will work out. Hang in there!

 

[Rome]

Sending a prayer of total healing & restoration for your mom & comfort to you & family!

Rome

 

[KentTeffeteller]

Peace, Prayers, Healing, and hope that everything continues to go well with your family. Best wishes.

 

[dcmfan]

Hoping for the best for all of you. Just keep taking it one step at a time, and keep trying to do the next right thing.

 

[55Redneck]

Best wishes for your Mom, Tim. I think she's gonna be OK, and this is coming from someones who had three strokes at 53 years old. In my case the only things I can't do now that I could before is 1: Play the guitar (that one hurts the most), 2: write or sign my name like before, 3: sometimes break into tears for no real reason (mostly when I discuss music), I beleive it's called Psyudo Bulbar Affect (sp?).

In my case it affected my left side (I'm a lefty), and mostly just fine motor skills, the big muscles still work pretty well. In season I golf 18 holes at least once a week and do it while walking, not cart golf. My biggest wish for you and yours right now is that you sister gets herself right so you can both repair the years of past damage.

Best of luck my friend in all aspects.

Regards
Mark

 

[onwardjames]

Thoughts and Prayers to you and family, get a lawyer to (re) look over the will, get sis in a 12 step program. Mincing no words here, this is really difficult. Been there. Miss my mom every day.

Apparently, and I just learned this, sis is attending AA meetings with the passion of the truly committed, tho alcohol isn't her drug of choice. Hers is the one that turns beauty into ghastlyness, and a mouthful of pearly white teeth into so many broken tombstones. Hers are showing the signs something fierce.

I've not had 3 moments in my life that can compare with yesterday. Inexplicable. @savatage1973 you completely nailed it with your comments on "grudges".
I've personally forgotten something I've said for years, which is that grudges do far more damage to those who hold them than for those they're intended for.

I had the exact same thing happen to me just over 2 years ago.
Mini stroke which affected my ability to think clearly and form a sentence which lasted for a week or so and over the long term has affected my short term memory but I'm still vertical and mobile.
Hope your mum recovers without to any side affects.

I'm glad you're doing better, and thank you for your story.

Tim, I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's difficulties and the effect that's having on your life. I'm sure your your wife will stick it out -- maybe try to sell it to her as a mid-life adventure.

I really hope things turn around and your mom is able to make a full recovery. I also hope you and your sister are able to continue your reconciliation. That may turn out to be the silver lining among all these clouds.

Anyway, my thoughts are with you and yours.

I told Mom everything I felt about my sis, and how all the hurt and anger just dropped away. Again, I cannot speak about it without welling up. Never wished to be estranged from her for nigh on 2 decades, but where she went, I could not follow.

However this pans out, I will no longer be so angry about it, and I can honestly say I forgive her. Last week, that was incomprehensible.

BEST NEWS IS, as of 4 pm today, Mom is back home, resting comfortably. Yeah, she's foggy, but her spirits are good, and sis is with her tonight. I'll likely go out there tomorrow, as she lives about 30 minutes away. The toughest thing, I am certain, will be for Mom to not get ahead of her recovery. She's a hard one, Mom is.

As for the will, I think I'll press Mom for details, and I should have the POA paperwork at least started tomorrow. My boss has a paralegal friend, and he chased me out of the office today, saying he can make that happen. So, there's that.

Again, I thank everyone in this thread. Pain shared is halved, pleasure shared is doubled. I was uncertain if I should, but definitely glad I did.

Oh, and FedEx delivered the Threshold 400a. Sweet Jesus, what a gorgeous amp! Just gotta hook it up.

THANK YOU, AK!

 

[4-2-7]

Family is family--love it or hate it, but it's yours.

My biggest wish for you and yours right now is that you sister gets herself right so you can both repair the years of past damage.

I told Mom everything I felt about my sis, and how all the hurt and anger just dropped away. Again, I cannot speak about it without welling up. Never wished to be estranged from her for nigh on 2 decades, but where she went, I could not follow.

However this pans out, I will no longer be so angry about it, and I can honestly say I forgive her.

The best thing for Mom is to see her family together, I am positive that would be all she will ever need out of life from here on out.

I'll likely go out there tomorrow, as she lives about 30 minutes away.

And the next day and the day after that, and stay for dinner, and take care of and support both those ladies.

 

[4-2-7]

Two days ago I was sad in reading this thread, tonight I'm happy to see a big change, a bigger change than expected.

Life is too short, its up to us to look within ourselves to better it and add value.

 

[IPADave]

Two days ago I was sad in reading this thread, tonight I'm happy to see a big change, a bigger change than expected.

Nicely stated. I feel the same way.

Good for you Tim! I'm glad that things are moving in a positive direction.

-Dave

 

[Dingman]

Hello everyone.

I just bought a restored Threshold 400a, a large purchase for a man with humble means. Should arrive Thursday, and it'll be my end of the road. To say I'm excited is serious understating it.

Called the 72 year old Mom (widowed) on Monday, hadn't heard from her since Thursday of last week, and had received several very garbled texts. After 7 minutes on the phone with her, I knew something wasn't right. She tried and tried, but could not form a sentence.

I said, "Mom, put sis on the phone". Sis is my damaged-goods sibling, and that's perhaps all I should say about that.

I tell her, "Get Mom to the hospital. She's had a stroke."

Turns out she had been acting very erratic since FRIDAY. So I'm going on 4 hours of sleep, Mom is stable, MRI has yet to be read by the doc. Now it wasn't a major stroke, in fact there is no physical manifestations, just an inability to construct sentences sometimes, but even that fog seems to be lifting.

I should know more tomorrow, but at the least, I'm looking at 2-3 weeks of rehab for her, and then afterwards?? Who knows. She has been driving the Amish to hold on to the family farm, and I'm looking at the real possibility of uprooting my life (maybe the wife as well, who knows if she'll follow me out there) and the entire arc of my late 40's has changed.

Such is life. Not looking for pity, everyone has their cross to bear. I am no different. But if some of you could be so kind to keep my sweet old Mom in your thoughts (and prayers, if that is your thing) I would be most grateful. She's a sweet woman with more guts than any 2 men I know, but diabetes, severe apnea, a horrific car wreck in '88, and to top it off, a quintuple bypass, well, it's adding up.

Then there is the legal battle of getting power of attorney with Sis in the way (I'm eldest, and pretty sure Mom leaves me in charge, should anything happen, having changed the will last year). Not a greedy man, but to be honest, the sister would piss the family farm away (64 acres and 3400 sq foot home, plus Granpa's 75 prime farm acreage). I'd just see it stay in the family.

Guess I just needed to spill. Thanks for reading this.

Thanks for sharing.
I do hope for the best in this.

 

[SoCal Sam]

Your priorities are right. Taking care of mom and the family legacy is always the right thing to do.

 

[Dingman]

@richamor When I put my arm around her, it occurred to me that I had been so callous to the internal war she must be fighting on a daily basis. I had allowed my anger and resentment to cloud my mind. When I would yell and scream that she needed to get clean, I was like the parable that Jesus described when he said "Do not tell a man who is hungry and cold 'Be ye warmed, and filled' but give them a blanket and a meal (paraphrasing, of course).

I am not sure that I've ever felt what I experienced when I put my arm around my kid sister today.

It was honest to god forgiveness, and hallelujah, it felt nice, regardless of what comes next.

This is powerful. Let's all reflect on this.

 

[55Redneck]

One thing I forgot to mention earlier Tim, is that if they do put your Mom on blood thinners they will probably screw up her taste buds something fierce, they sure did to me. Things I absolutely loved tasted like garbage on the thinners. Fortunately for me I talked my Doc into getting me off then ASAP. It took a while to get my taste buds back to normal after getting off them. I'm sure you'll do all you can because I think Mom and Sis really need you now (pretty sure you knew that anyways) I hope all comes out great in the end.

 

[noogies]

Glad to hear things are looking up.

That amp will provide great therapy if you have any bad moments in the days ahead.

 

[onwardjames]

Two days ago I was sad in reading this thread, tonight I'm happy to see a big change, a bigger change than expected.

Life is too short, its up to us to look within ourselves to better it and add value.

Man, you said it, Dan. Thanks for being a bro.

This is powerful. Let's all reflect on this.

Hell, I just welled up again. Like I said, I haven't felt anything quite like that power that came with true forgiveness. Ever.

Me and mom were sitting on the edge of her bed yesterday when I told her what happened, because I think only I really knew what had happened (I can put up a mean poker face) and she held my hand and smiled ear to ear. I said "Wouldn't it be fantastic if this setback healed what is left of our family?" and she smiled again.

Oh crap, another ninja just slinked thru my room cutting up those dang onions again.

You guys rock, and I wish I could hug each and every one of you. What a strange, mysterious and wonderful journey life can be.

 

[4-2-7]

Man, you said it, Dan. Thanks for being a bro.

Yeah well you have a lot of love on this site, brothers from another mother

she held my hand and smiled ear to ear. I said "Wouldn't it be fantastic if this setback healed what is left of our family?" and she smiled again.

That's all she wants, and really as we get older we start looking around us, family has to be there.

Oh crap, another ninja just slinked thru my room cutting up those dang onions again.

To tell the truth, after my first post today I looked back in the thread, like on page two I missed yesterday, and I was welling up. Hence the comment you quoted.

 

[onwardjames]

Here's a pic I keep in my wallet. Christmas '92, sort of the last of the "good" Christmas's, as I went away to college, sis to high school (where the attitude began) and things in our family drifted. I got a '92 Les Paul from my father, who bought it simply because I had seen it and commented on how pretty it was, pulled it off the shelf, and played a lick or two.

He was cool like that. I still have it, it's got some buckle rash and bar dings, but it's precious to me.

Look at these two! Yep, that's my hair, alright. Was heavy like Absalom, lol.

 

[Gibsonian]

You and fam will be in my prayers James. Sounds like you are right where you need to be right now.