Get the amp of your dreams, then this happens. Life is fickle.

The rain fell slow,
Down on all the roofs, of uncertainty.
I thought of you, and the years and all the sadness
fell away from me

And did you know
I never thought that you'd lose that light in your eyes.

 
Thoughts and prayers, bro.

I had a resentment growing against my sister. She had planned on retiring early, and moving back to take care of my parents. Dad has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. It was slow on-set from a previous head injury, so he may live a long time. My mother is just impossible to deal with.

My sister did not retire last year, like she said she was going to, and I was getting annoyed that she didn't, and why she didn't say anything. She had stopped coming out on a regular basis.

On Christmas Eve, I went to take care of Dad so the Home Health Aids could have the night off. My sister (and husband) drove seven hours, just to have a brief chat with me.

During the past year, Sis had two separate forms of cancer surgical removed. No chemo required, she's cancer free (or so she tells me). Now she needs to have her aorta reconstructed, because of an embolism. She had to tell me all this in person, then leave for a doctor's appointment the day after Christmas. Fourteen hour round trip. End of that resentment.
 
My wife was cured of cancer, by surgery, last fall. It very nearly killed her, but she is nearly back to her old self - the strongest woman I have ever known.

AKers' prayers and best wishes helped me through a very scary time. I pray for a similar recovery for you and your mom. Sounds like it's happening.

Good news about your sister, too. Hang in there.
 
You looked a little like Duane Allman. Better teeth, though.

Too bad I don't play slide as well, right?? I have no idea where that stupid polka dotted thing around my head came from, haha.

The rain fell slow,
Down on all the roofs, of uncertainty.
I thought of you, and the years and all the sadness
fell away from me

And did you know
I never thought that you'd lose that light in your eyes.

How very apropos, ETLS. Good reference. Like I said, whatever else happens, I'm free of the hate that has filled me for so long. Even today, I tried discussing it, and instantly choked up. Had no idea how much power my own burning rage had over me.

My wife was cured of cancer, by surgery, last fall. It very nearly killed her, but she is nearly back to her old self - the strongest woman I have ever known.

AKers' prayers and best wishes helped me through a very scary time. I pray for a similar recovery for you and your mom. Sounds like it's happening.

Good news about your sister, too. Hang in there.
I remember that dark time for you. I rejoice for your wife's healing, friend.

Spoke with Mom today. She's convalescing at home, getting her rest, and assuring me she's on very light duty, will avoid Coca Colas, and use her Cpap.

Sis and I are speaking via text nearly every day, multiple times. It's like re-discovering a long-lost friend. Still apprehensive, but hopeful.

From the photo, you can see how similar we look. Funny thing, Mom has (had, she's gray now) JET black hair, and is literally a minority (Native American blood from her Dad's side).

Those crazy recessive genes, lol. Her own mother's Dad had some Scandanavian, and my own Father was a blonde haired blue eyed man. Viva America!
 
My brother and I despised each other for 40 years, then Dad was dying and we found out we have a lot in common. These times are , oddly, when we are most alive on that all the bulls hit falls away.
 
Good luck with your Mom. Going through the same with my Mom. Try to stay calm with your sibs, if for no other reason than your Moms sake. No bickering your Mother does not want to live that.
 
Just saw this thread, prayers to you, your sis, and mom's continued recovery. She had a small stroke in a particular area of the brain which causes Expressive Aphasia. Hopefully, she'll make that full recovery and have treatment to lessen her future risks. Congratulations on your new amp, your changed perspective and reconciliation with your sister. And continued progress and success on helping your mom get her affairs and future wishes in order.
 
Good luck with your Mom. Going through the same with my Mom. Try to stay calm with your sibs, if for no other reason than your Moms sake. No bickering your Mother does not want to live that.
The magical, wonderful thing is that Mom sees us building bridges, and I know that has been a motivator.

Absolute best to you and your own mother, mgkfifty.

Thanks, @mech986 and @Te-Te for your kind words.

Mom continues to heal, and even cooked a roast on Sunday. Sis has been getting her medications lined up for her, and so whatever befalls us next, at least I have reconciliation with my long-wayward sibling.

Oh, and last Thursday, I made it official, and got Power of Attorney, even got it entered into the records at the Courthouse, so if stuff hits the fan, I can be in charge. Sis asked "Will you cheat me out of my half?" to which I replied, "No, I will prevent your half from being wasted, and ensure it is safe from everything and everyone, including yourself. As God as my witness, I'll not steal as much as a penny from you."

She simply smiled, and said, "Okay."

There's a change, I see it. Plus, ran into a cop buddy, who had visited sis's house a month back (big disturbance with her baby-daddy) He told me, "Timmy, we tested her on the spot.....she's clean."

Like I said before, I am gunshy, but I think she might just have a handle on her demons.

Thanks again, everyone. You all are the best.
 
The magical, wonderful thing is that Mom sees us building bridges, and I know that has been a motivator.

Absolute best to you and your own mother, mgkfifty.

Thanks, @mech986 and @Te-Te for your kind words.

Mom continues to heal, and even cooked a roast on Sunday. Sis has been getting her medications lined up for her, and so whatever befalls us next, at least I have reconciliation with my long-wayward sibling.

Oh, and last Thursday, I made it official, and got Power of Attorney, even got it entered into the records at the Courthouse, so if stuff hits the fan, I can be in charge. Sis asked "Will you cheat me out of my half?" to which I replied, "No, I will prevent your half from being wasted, and ensure it is safe from everything and everyone, including yourself. As God as my witness, I'll not steal as much as a penny from you."

She simply smiled, and said, "Okay."

There's a change, I see it. Plus, ran into a cop buddy, who had visited sis's house a month back (big disturbance with her baby-daddy) He told me, "Timmy, we tested her on the spot.....she's clean."

Like I said before, I am gunshy, but I think she might just have a handle on her demons.

Thanks again, everyone. You all are the best.
Power of Attorney isn't going to help prevent the money from being wasted.

You need to set up a trust fund.

We failed to do this, it may wipe out my retirement badly. It may sound selfish, but my mother usually doesn't think past her nose. She has a full-time health care attendant, and two part time ones. It's burning up the family wealth. Her reason for not setting up a trust fund, was that Dad was only going to live for a couple of more years. That was eight years ago. I kept arguing that he has slow on-set dementia, he'll live a long time.

The full-time attendant is now part of the family, because she agrees with mom on every thing she does. Because she's paid pretty well to be there. She claims to be the middle sister now. My mom may start believing that.

People probably can't relate to my self-centered fears of the future. There are a lot self-made men on AK, they don't need mama's money. But I have mental issues that are almost. but not quite, debilitating. It's a bitch working with, and for, normal people; they jack with freaky people like me. I couldn't establish a decent career. I didn't have a retirement account until I was 50 years old. Holding on to a job is real hard for me.
 
Power of Attorney isn't going to help prevent the money from being wasted.

You need to set up a trust fund.

We failed to do this, it may wipe out my retirement badly. It may sound selfish, but my mother usually doesn't think past her nose.

But I have mental issues that are almost. but not quite, debilitating. It's a bitch working with, and for, normal people; they jack with freaky people like me. I couldn't establish a decent career. I didn't have a retirement account until I was 50 years old. Holding on to a job is real hard for me.

This could be my story to the letter, BigElCat. I've bounced from job to job, and have no retirement account at 46. I appreciate the heads up, and am keenly aware of what could happen. My mother's mom lived to 87, and if not for the coal miner husband she had (union dues and whatnot, they took great care of her) plus my 6 female cousins taking care of her, that money would have been up in flames.

I'll look into this, and best of luck with your own situation. As I've said countless times, be nice to people. They're likely fighting a war you know nothing about.
 
Just came across this this thread today for the first time. I hope your mom is doing better now and I'll be sending positive thoughts her way.

Thank you for educating me on one of the signs to look for when someone is suffering from a stroke. You may have helped me immensely during those times when I've visiting my dad.
 
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OnwardJames, sorry to hear about your mom's and the family's problems. First off you are not alone in your situation. My 95 year old mother in law fell in her shower on Thursday night. Of course she is too stubborn to have any help and ignores her daughter's advice to always have her cell phone within arm's reach. So she spent 12 hours lying in the tub until my brother in law checked in on her. Luckily she somehow did not fracture her hip or any other bones, nor did she stroke out or have a heart attack while spending the night in the tub. She is black and blue and sore but intact. If she had to have been taken to the hospital, she would not have recovered and been carried out in a crate.

One thing you need to have in place for your mom, in addition to the Power of Attorney, is the Medical Proxy. This is in case she is incapacitated and unable to make decisions on her own. Some states have restrictions regarding this to avoid a conflict of interest. i.e You probably cannot be Medical Proxy, POA and Executor of her will all at the same time. Sorry mom, time to go! (Insert obligatory Monty Python quote here.)

To end on a positive note, What is the definiton of Irish Alzheimer's??? You forget everything but the grudge................
 
I just saw this today and read it all the way through. I'm thrilled about the positive developments that have occurred. I hope the journey continues to be good and my prayers are with you.
 
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