How drunk is too drunk?

THOR

Fearless Prophet
When you are having drunken sex and you argue with your woman over what position to use and you end up fighting and sleeping in different bedrooms :wtf:

ALSO

During said fight you throw your glasses and the lenses pop out then you pop them back in upside down left lense where right lense goes and right lense where left lense goes (they are different powers) and this morning you realize that is why you can't see, but you can't get the lenses out and have to go buy a tiny screwdriver to fix them :withstpd:
 
I'm also a MTB biker

YOU KNOW YOU’RE WASTED WHEN:
· You don’t remember what you last stuffed down your throat until you see it on top of your boots.
· You finally realize that roach you lost is still sizzin’ in the back of your mouth
· You start dancing to disco shit.
· You can’t put your dick back in your pants, after takin’ that long awaited piss, because you forgot to take it out in the first PLACE.
· You can’t ride your downhill bike, because it’s cruching you leg
· You either pass out, go into a coma, die, or all three (but those things rarely happen to a real biker).
· You don’t remember that 24 hour race you did at Hardwood, until you find the 24 hr. shirt in the back of you camelback.
· The stripper you’re been watching all night comes out for her last set and she’s got six tits.
· That free ride bike you’re been eyeball in’ all night starts to look good.
· That same bike starts smelling’ better then she looks.
· You realize those spot you’ve been seeing before your eyes are actually ceiling lights.
· A Bro ask for a drink of your chaser and you hand him a can of 20 weight shock oil you’re been drinking.
· You’re afraid to burp.
· You have to close one eye to focus on the centre line.
· You have to close both eyes to make it home.
· They wake you up and tell you “the bar has reopened for your drinking pleasures”
· You have to spend the rest of your life with one arm because you had to chew the other one off to keep from waking up whatever it was you went home with last night.
· Your hard tail starts riding rough on the way home and you can’t figure it out because you went to the bar on a F.S. bike.
· You ask some guy in a funny blue uniform if he happens to have some papers on him.
· You’re enjoying the feeling of riding up and down mountain trails- problem is, you’re in the city.
· You call your bail bondsman before you leave the bar.
· You turn down a free beer, shot, joint, head, etc. etc.
· Hey, that’s all for now. I gotta go see if I CAN’T find a way to sober up.

Ride Easy.
 
Hey Thor,
My experience has been:
When yer lyin' on the back porch face down in a puddle of puke, and ya can't lift yer head up because every time ya do, everything starts spinnin' and your pukin' all over again.
or if your in the back seat of your buddy's new camaro, cuisin' around with him and his girl and ya puke all over the back of her head
Or in a worst case senario, your 17 and your passed out on your bed chokin' on your own puke and your little brother comes home and has to flip ya over so ya don't drown:drunk: :puke:

Derek
 
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My body has a built in defense against that, I always pass out before I puke, always never fail. Must be my viking heritage ;)
 
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