I'm also a MTB biker
YOU KNOW YOU’RE WASTED WHEN:
· You don’t remember what you last stuffed down your throat until you see it on top of your boots.
· You finally realize that roach you lost is still sizzin’ in the back of your mouth
· You start dancing to disco shit.
· You can’t put your dick back in your pants, after takin’ that long awaited piss, because you forgot to take it out in the first PLACE.
· You can’t ride your downhill bike, because it’s cruching you leg
· You either pass out, go into a coma, die, or all three (but those things rarely happen to a real biker).
· You don’t remember that 24 hour race you did at Hardwood, until you find the 24 hr. shirt in the back of you camelback.
· The stripper you’re been watching all night comes out for her last set and she’s got six tits.
· That free ride bike you’re been eyeball in’ all night starts to look good.
· That same bike starts smelling’ better then she looks.
· You realize those spot you’ve been seeing before your eyes are actually ceiling lights.
· A Bro ask for a drink of your chaser and you hand him a can of 20 weight shock oil you’re been drinking.
· You’re afraid to burp.
· You have to close one eye to focus on the centre line.
· You have to close both eyes to make it home.
· They wake you up and tell you “the bar has reopened for your drinking pleasures”
· You have to spend the rest of your life with one arm because you had to chew the other one off to keep from waking up whatever it was you went home with last night.
· Your hard tail starts riding rough on the way home and you can’t figure it out because you went to the bar on a F.S. bike.
· You ask some guy in a funny blue uniform if he happens to have some papers on him.
· You’re enjoying the feeling of riding up and down mountain trails- problem is, you’re in the city.
· You call your bail bondsman before you leave the bar.
· You turn down a free beer, shot, joint, head, etc. etc.
· Hey, that’s all for now. I gotta go see if I CAN’T find a way to sober up.
Ride Easy.