Discussion in 'General Off Topic Forums' started by onwardjames, Jan 15, 2014.
Now I had a girlfriend once who... Wait, did I type that out loud?
BTW, happy birthday Bob!
Sooo many levels of "bad ass" right there.
What? What were you thinking?
^^^ A photocopier?
It always happens when I'm in a hurry to get in the house to use the toilet. Well, it's the only time I get a wee dance nowadays.
A man came home drunk, and his wife demanded to know where he'd been. "I've been to this amazing bar," he slurred. "It's called the Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. They've got golden doors, golden floors - they even have a golden urinal!"
"I don't believe it," said his wife, but she found a receipt in his pocket the next day and sure enough, at the top it said "The Golden Saloon". So she rang the number.
"Is this the Golden Saloon?" "Yes it is," said the bartender.
"Do you have golden doors and golden floors?" "Yes."
"What about golden urinals?"
There was a long silence, then finally she heard the bartender yell in the distance, "Hey Steve, I think I've found out who pissed in your saxophone last night!"
Another life ruined by METH .....
Someone had a flyer for a dog for adoption at work... it's a German Shepherd and Chihuahua mix. All I could think of was the logistics of HOW this happened. Was the parent a small German Shepherd or a big Chihuahua? So many questions.
It made me think of an old joke that I like...
Q. How did the mouse get the elephant pregnant?
A. The giraffe put him up to it!!
Yes, she got up there by herself!
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