Joke of the Day

[Meower]

....

 

[Meower]

HHmm

....

 

[Manitoulin]

A lot worse out there...

 

[Sandy G]

Yeah, but oh-so-true...I tell ya, I got it rough with women...Rough, I tell ya ! Why, when I was a baby, I was breast-fed by my father. My mother said she liked me as a friend...My Uncle's dying wish was to have me on his knee..He was in the electric chair....

 

[kcollins4]

I liked it. It's worth a re-tell or two. :yes:

 

[Gerrit]

"My mother said she liked me as a friend"

Unca S, you crack me up

 

[2DualsNotEnough]

Yeah, but oh-so-true...I tell ya, I got it rough with women...Rough, I tell ya ! Why, when I was a baby, I was breast-fed by my father. My mother said she liked me as a friend...My Uncle's dying wish was to have me on his knee..He was in the electric chair....

Wasnt ole Rodney the best?"Steak and sex,my favorite pair.I get both the same way,very rare!"
Jimmy

 

[Filmboydoug]

I went to the dentist. I told him "Hey Doc, my teeth are yellow." He said "Wear a brown necktie."

 

[Meower]

Subject: Sick Day

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing ?"

I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out.Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".

I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "...And where do you think you're going?"

You're going 2 love this..... )

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

 

[mulester7]

.....then there was the blonde who broke her leg raking leaves.....(somebody finish it).....

 

[Meower]

Uh-oh

I feel a bombardment of blonde jokes coming...lol! It's cool...I rather enjoy them!:yes:

 

[junkaudio]

got a nasty one
why is a blonde like a turtle?
because they are both ****ed when lying on their back

 

[needforspeed]

I feel a bombardment of blonde jokes coming...lol! It's cool...I rather enjoy them!:yes:

Ok, here goes;

Three blondes walked into a bar. The bartender asked the first what she wanted. She replied "I'll have a bl." He thought a moment and then asked her "What's a bl?" She replied, "Well, duh, a bl is a Bud Lite." He turned to the second one and asked what she wanted. She replied "Make mine a ml." He thought ok, if a bl is Bud Lite, then ml could be Michelob or something, and said, "OK, what's a ml?" She replied, "Well, duh, it's a Miller Lite." He then turned to the third one and asked what she wanted. She replied "I'll have a 15." He said, "Ok, bl is Bud Lite, and ml is Miller Lite, but I have never heard of a 15. What is it?" She said, "Well, duh, it's a 7-7."

 

[JerryM]

More Rodney

"I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother."

"I was such an ugly kid, I once stuck my face out the schoolbus window and got arrested for mooning."

"A beautiful woman once stopped me on the street. She said, "I want you for my husband." I said, "Now what would your husband want with me?'"

"My wife likes to talk dirty to me during sex. Last night, she called me from a hotel."

 

[Sandy G]

"I went to a tough school as a kid, a tough school, I'll tell ya...In English class the teacher asked, "What comes after a sentence ?" One kid piped up, "Ya make an appeal..." Tough school, I tell ya, tough school...(Tugs at his tie...) In science class the teacher aked one kid to demonstrate the law of gravity...The kid tossed him outta da window...tough school..."

 

[jaymanaa]

I get no respect I tell ya, the other day the kids were gettin on my nerves. I told them "that's ok, you'll have kids of your own someday". They said "yeh, you might too".......... no respect I tell ya.

 

[TWantiques]

While we are on the subject of blonds

What's the first thing a blond does after a bad auto accident?

Call 911? Get a safe distance from the car and other traffic? No

Get out the hair brush!

Terry

 

[herbman1975]

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted.

 

[mulester7]

.....a set of jumper-cables walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink....the bartender says, "ok, I'll serve you, but don't start anything"......

 

[thedelihaus]

I told my father I wanted'a watch for my birthday. He let me!