Originally posted by cruisaire
Do I have your permission to use that phraseology when the next mindless (un)reality show comes on?
Be my guest.
>) The mental imagery is rather good isn't it?
I have a few more if you are interested....
>)
One of my favorites is to throw this one out.
"Wouldn't you agree that if you stew cranberries like applesauce, they taste *much* more like prunes than rhubarb does?"
Wait for the answer while gazing intently into your victims eyes. It will take a few seconds for it to all register. One usually gets an emphatic "What?!?!?" as a response. You might even get a question back like "What is wrong with you?" Either way, it certainly does a master reset on the conversation.
It is usually most effective when a conversation is going nowhere, has no point, and is in general is just mindless jabber. Be sure to insert a good pause before as if contemplating something profound.
When discussing someone you really don't like, you say something like, "That person really scares me sometimes. I overheard someone say that <person's name> favorite fantasy involves a monkey with a gas can.....not just any monkey either, it has to be a spider monkey. You know the kind. They have those little tiny hands and are oh, so clever...."
Doing all that with a straight face is the hardest part.