I finally found out what's wrong with me
I need to get loaded and laid
That's the only way that I can see
to face this world unafraid
It might sound funny from a man my age
Y'think its a joke, honey, meet me backstage
I finally found out what's wrong with me
I need to get loaded and laid
Something's been bothering me the last few days
I need to get tortured and teased
Some of these women got a dozen new ways
To keep a man sweaty and pleased
So whip out your fake fur, your lashes and lace
You can smear peanut butter and jelly all over my face
Something's been bothering me the last few days
I need to get tortured and teased
I finally found out what my main complaint was
I need to get ravaged and ruined
I forgot all about the need for restraint
I need to have my sweet milk churned
I've tried persuasion, even thought about assault
The way you ladies look it's only 'bout half my fault
I finally found out what my main complaint was
I need to get ravaged and ruined
I finally found out what's wrong with me
I need to get loaded and laid
Now, I'd or never brought the subject up y'see
But its been up on its own for days
Honey, I don't want to stand, stoop, or sit
Just please don't stop 'til I got to beg you to quit
I finally found out what's wrong with me
I need to get loaded and laid