People are Strange

associative memory. context triggered.

Happened with me in April, wife of our Lobbyist whom I have been in their home several times socially greeted me at an event. I had never seen her at that event before, so she wasn't "on the (mental) list".

She said "HI Mark!!" and I was non-plussed, with a real vacant look on my face.

Then she said her name, (and at that instant it helped that I remembered she had shed a VERY flattering amount amount of weight) my jaw dropped, my eyes must have bugged as I blurted her name, and saying "you look FABULOUS!!!".
 
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I will see someone from one of our local stores in passing, and often I find they look familiar, but can't exactly figure out in my mind where I've seen them before. Then it'll occur to me weeks later when I see them in the store again. Seeing them outside their element just throws my mind for a loop, and I'm sure the same can happen with them when they see us out in the wild.

Guilty as charged--I'll see someone and think "I know that person--but from where/how?", or someone will walk up to me and say "Hi" and I'm thinking like "who the f**k are you?"--it takes a minute to try to remember.
 
Guilty as charged--I'll see someone and think "I know that person--but from where/how?", or someone will walk up to me and say "Hi" and I'm thinking like "who the f**k are you?"--it takes a minute to try to remember.
There is also a variation on that--you think this might be a person you know, but you don't want to speak up for fear of being embarrassed.

My last time at the Cracker Barrel near the house, I saw someone checking out at the register ahead of me. I thought it looked like an old buddy of mine from school, who I hadn't seen in over 20 years, but this person had put on a bit of weight. I got home a half hour later, found his contact info and shot him an email--"Was that you at Cracker Barrel just a half hour ago??" Yep, it was. (And by looking at him, you wouldn't even recognize that he's a revenue officer for the IRS!)
 
Guilty as charged--I'll see someone and think "I know that person--but from where/how?", or someone will walk up to me and say "Hi" and I'm thinking like "who the f**k are you?"--it takes a minute to try to remember.

When we used to own a couple of big restaurants so I would spend a lot of time at the front door meeting & greeting the guest as "the face" of the place. Each had 160 seats that turned over twice a night, not to mention bar customers. After a while when out in public (local grocery store or something), I'd think I'd recognize every other person I saw. Which really turned into kind of a weird unmanageable blur. When people initiated a friendly greeting, I'd have to go along assuming it came from being recognized at the restaurants.

It could get really weird if they were just giving a friendly passing-by nod and didn't want to actually engage. The art of it was knowing when and how far to take it. If you brushed them off then it hurt the business. If you engaged someone who didn't want to be engaged they'd think you were invading their space.

I imagine that's common for people that work in high volume customer contact jobs, especially if you have a stake in the game. I think most people would try to shut that down to help maintain their sanity.
 
I imagine that's common for people that work in high volume customer contact jobs, especially if you have a stake in the game. I think most people would try to shut that down to help maintain their sanity.

I own a construction company, so I hear ya. Did we build your new garage or house or deck, or put an addition onto your daughter's house, or re-paint your office?--I don't f**king know? OTOH--at least I have never had someone recognize me and promptly assault me, so we must be doing something "right". ;)
 
I imagine that's common for people that work in high volume customer contact jobs, especially if you have a stake in the game. I think most people would try to shut that down to help maintain their sanity.
I am so mixed up on the names-with-faces aspect of sales. For instance, if I made an appointment to see someone, I would always remember the name and the face. But if we went into a meeting or I talked with others in the purchasing department or (more likely) out on the floor in the shop, the rest of their names would go right over my head. If it was a regular place I visited, where the purchasing agents had the name plaques on their desks, it would sink in rather easily that way. (Like at a large factory such as Detroit Diesel, where I had to work with both purchasing agents and the technicians out in the plant.)

For years, though, I was working the phones as inside sales/customer service/purchasing, and all that. I would recognize voices easily. (For a while, after having taken calls all around the US for a decade, I could even tell regional dialects.) Yet it was funny how my impressions of their voices did not match how they looked when we would meet in person! (The same could be said for dating too, I guess. :D )
 
I was given my Father's lack of memory for names. He was an ophthalmologist/surgeon and had office hours four day a week. The people coming to him were mostly return visitors and knew his name quite well, but he could never remember theirs. To him all older women were "dear", younger women were always "hun". Men on the other hand were, young or old, "sir". I worked in the theater and was overwhelmed with 50 to 100 new people every day, but I could not seem to make my Dad's gambit work for me. For shows that were staying for a week or longer, I would write the names down along with the work positions as well. This worked for me.

I also recognized that the people I met had the same problem and we would address each other with "Hey" or some other version of that type of acknowledgment. My memory, being photographic, really did not help with this situation. I'd remember the face, but not the name. This was hard to deal with on a daily basis, but it is true, people are strange, including myself.
 
An earlier post used "wanker" a lovely British word. I think I must be one because nobody ever talks to me.
 
Here's a different twist on things. Have you ever been in a group with identical twins? In our jazz band in high school, the piano and bass were identical twins. I remember one of our earlier gigs when I was walking with one of them, and had no idea which twin it was! :D But I eventually got to where there was some subtle thing (which to this day, I still can't put a finger on) where I could tell them apart.
 
Have you ever been in a group with identical twins?

Yes--and this is going to sound really sexist-piggish (hey, but it was the late 70's/early 80's) a pair of identical twin "ladies" from a nearby sorority used to frequent our fraternity house--and passed themselves around like h'orderves trays--they got all the best booze and drugs in the house, but I don't know if anyone actually knew which one they had for a "snack"--and no one yelled rape. I think they picked some of the the same brothers and did comparisons. Different time/place back then--the era of Reagan and cocaine (amongst other things), and no one got hurt.
 
Yes--and this is going to sound really sexist-piggish (hey, but it was the late 70's/early 80's) a pair of identical twin "ladies" from a nearby sorority used to frequent our fraternity house--and passed themselves around like h'orderves trays--they got all the best booze and drugs in the house, but I don't know if anyone actually knew which one they had for a "snack"--and no one yelled rape. I think they picked some of the the same brothers and did comparisons. Different time/place back then--the era of Reagan and cocaine (amongst other things), and no one got hurt.
Sounds kinda like high school for me. My grade had 3 very good looking brown eyed brunette tripletts and if they offered themselves up as h'orerves Id have been the first one at the table. ;) Apparently back in the day they used to play games with who they were dating and do some switching. At one point they went out with two twin brothers that were in my band class.
 
Yet it was funny how my impressions of their voices did not match how they looked when we would meet in person!

Years ago, when I was still working as a consultant to the chemical/pharmaceutical industries, I dealt with one client in particular for several months before we ever met--everything was by phone, fax or FedEx. I was in DC, and she was based in northern CA. She was an occupational health and safety director for a large agricultural chemical company.

Her name was Carmella (I won't post her last name, but it was equally sexy), and she had the voice of a phone sex operator. All you could imagine was Sophia Loren in the wine country of northern CA--until I finally met her in-person. She was the "stereotypical" butch Birkenstock-wearing lesbian/hippie--built like a linebacker, no bras, didn't shave her legs or pits--with the voice of an angel ;)

Sometimes you just never know...
 
The restaurant staff see a lot of people for sure. And the grocery check out clerk may see EVERY person in the community when they go out. If it were me I would probably smile, wave and speed up. Otherwise I might spend all my time talking with everyone in the community.
 
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