Stereo solutions to appease a not so understanding spouse

Discussion in 'Listening Spaces' started by xs650shawn, Mar 11, 2014.

  1. xs650shawn

    xs650shawn Active Member

    Messages:
    164
    So, how does everybody make their stereo systems tolerable for a not so understanding spouse or significant other? Reason I ask is this- I want to set up a listening area that doesn't involve the TV. Half of my living room/great room is largely unused, and I wanted to set it up as a listening area. Bought a 4x4 Expedit shelf to house my growing vinyl and existing CD collection, was going to put turntable, cd player and receiver on top, with speakers on the side. Wife tells me she doesn't like how it looks. Speakers are too big. I toss the idea of bookshelf speakers and sub, and can even mount speakers to the wall so they are up out of the way. Her response- "there has to be a better way". I mention built-in speakers, to which she also thinks there needs to be a better way. She wants me to have an invisible system. We have no furniture on this side of the room to hide speakers, not that I want them hidden anyway. I might as well move my entire setup to the garage. Ideas? I have included a pic of what I am considering that she is not keen on.
     

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  2. tybrad

    tybrad AK Subscriber Subscriber

    Messages:
    17,136
    Welp you know, there is an idea of give and take on your sig other's part. Sounds like 'my way or nothing' sort of thing from the way you describe. Sorry, no ideas for a situation like yours other than a for a mutual understanding of needs/wants/loves. Personally, I would lose 60-70% of my experience with an invisible system.

    Maybe hide the media and keep the equip tastefully in the open?
     
  3. Chad Michael

    Chad Michael Dissonant Rhino

    Messages:
    459
    Location:
    Spokane WA
    Choices:

    1) put "the pants" on
    2) let her know, logically and emotionally, how important your music is to you
    3) give up

    None of these choices will provide a harmonious outcome. I feel for ya...

    Some people get so hung up on visual aesthetics, then all other forms of enjoyment suffer.
     
  4. whoaru99

    whoaru99 Epic Member

    Messages:
    36,801
    Location:
    LoTL
    Get some small speakers (aka Bose-like small) and figure out a way to hide it all if you want it in there.
     
  5. KevinCorr

    KevinCorr AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    Fairbanks Alaska
    Start shopping for motorcycles, vintage cars, boats, etc.
     
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  6. RUMay408

    RUMay408 New Member

    Messages:
    26
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Buy some expensive and beautiful headphones, add a really nice headphone amp and DAC if needed, they take up little space. Solves two problems high end audio for you and real estate is saved for her.:thmbsp:
     
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  7. tomlinmgt

    tomlinmgt AK Subscriber Subscriber

    Messages:
    10,221
    Location:
    Arlington, TX
    My x-wife had both of our houses looking like pages out of a Pottery Barn/ Ballard Designs catalog. I wasn't really into audio at the time...not seriously, at least. But I did try to assemble a modest home theater rig. Nothing I did really satisfied her and everything was a friggin' compromise. It was that experience that planted the seed for where I am now for I swore, come hell or high water, that one day I would have a bad ass home stereo. When I got my own house one of the first things I did was go out looking for the same Cerwin Vega floorstanders I had in college. That's when the vintage bug bit and now I've gone off the deep end. But even now I don't set up my main rig in the house. Since I have two kids who are with me half the time I didn't wan't expensive gear in the house where they (and visiting friends) are. So, I set aside a 16x20 space in my garage and made it a dedicated listening area. I still have shelves, a workbench, work area, etc. out there, so not like I totally lost its utility. But, I also have a detached two-car garage and a big, covered back patio.....so giving up 75% of the garage wasn't a huge imposition for me.

    Look, you gave her the green light to decorate and furnish inside the house however she wanted and have demonstrated respect for her "space". It's time for you to plant your flag out in the garage. You make your contribution to puttin' a roof over everybody's head and have earned a space to call your own.

    Just claim it.

    Then you can do whatever you want, free of her scrutiny or negative vibes about disrupting her space. If you set up in that living room and conform to her long list of stipulations and listen to her reminders of the "compromises " she's having to make then one day get the bug to start tweaking and upgrading...even just a little bit...you know she's likely gonna' put her foot down (yet again) and the tension between you two starts to build. Avoid all that....go stake your claim elsewhere.

    - Michael
     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2014
  8. J English

    J English Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    951
    I would say, explore whether her core problem is all of the media being visible in the shelving. You could find a unit that's a little lower to the ground and has doors or a cover. If a little narrower, the speakers might be able to slide in along side it and not look too crammed. Or, is the problem that she's just never going to be happy having anything she perceives as "clutter" in that particular room? Then you are probably better off exploring other (nearfield?) options, perhaps in a study or spare bedroom? I have a ton of stereo equipment in play in our house, but I've managed to break it up so it never really takes over a room - tricky to do, though.
     
  9. ra7c7er

    ra7c7er Super Member

    Messages:
    2,950
    Location:
    Belleville, IL
    Sounds like the girlfriend I had when I was first getting into music.

    If she is a music fan why don't you buy some music she likes and set up your system when she isn't there make sure she is having a great day and have some of her music spinning when she gets home. Make a nice night of it showing her that a stereo wouldn't just be for you it can be for her too.

    In all honesty she probably thinks that your stereo will make the room unfriendly to her (shes afraid she won't be welcome to watch TV if your listening). Just tell her that when she wants to watch TV you will have headphones.
     
  10. Naptown Rob

    Naptown Rob Ponographer

    Messages:
    5,600
    Location:
    Annapolis, MD
    I say that if you have to put up with all her damned candles and arbitrary throw pillows, she can put up with your stereo.


    Sorry. I know that wasn't helpful.

    But in your heart you know I'm right.:smoke:
     
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  11. Ohighway

    Ohighway AK Subscriber Subscriber

    A very basic question. How is it that she is the one that calls all the shots?
     
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  12. Junk Audio

    Junk Audio Active Member

    Messages:
    123
    Drop back and punt, It's pretty obvious who wears the pants! :D
     
  13. DaveS

    DaveS Active Member

    Messages:
    326
    Location:
    Seattle Area
    This
     
  14. DaveS

    DaveS Active Member

    Messages:
    326
    Location:
    Seattle Area
    This too
     
  15. DaveS

    DaveS Active Member

    Messages:
    326
    Location:
    Seattle Area
    Back to basics
     
  16. rogerfederer

    rogerfederer AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    Location:
    Northern VA
    Are there any other rooms you could use?
    Could you have the gear on one room and the speakers in the living room?
     
  17. xs650shawn

    xs650shawn Active Member

    Messages:
    164
    I don't really have an ideal room in the house to dedicate, with two kids and all. I love the idea of a huge system in the garage, but am not ready to give up my project car yet. Will probably end up expanding the garage in the future. I gave up motorcycles after the kids were born ( boy do I miss those). I think the root of it is a) music is nothing more than background noise for her, and b) she sees it as another expensive hobby of mine, next to cars, guns, tools etc. I was surprised though, when she actually saw it, she was actually kinda into it, as opposed to when it was just an idea. Have to see where it goes. My wife is normally very supportive on things, but my hobbies can get expensive. I think this stereo may actually be the cheapest of them all.
     
  18. ambient

    ambient AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    Location:
    SoCal
    Divorce is expensive-- get some nice headphones.
     
  19. Robinhawaii

    Robinhawaii Super Member

    Messages:
    2,041
    Location:
    Honolulu, and Hilo, Hawai'i
    LOL! I was going to say make the speakers look like candles and she should be down with that.

    Take care,

    Rob
     
  20. ra7c7er

    ra7c7er Super Member

    Messages:
    2,950
    Location:
    Belleville, IL
    Perhaps she sees it as another hobby taking up space. Maybe cutting back on something or selling off some of your hobby stuff you know your never going to get around to will help.
     

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