I've never done anything like this before, so seeking advice from others who have. We have a few cats that wonder around our neighborhood and my wife has taken to feeding a calico that now pretty much lives under our deck., when she's not sleeping on one or another of our deck chairs. She is quite skittish and as soon as the back door is open takes off to a 'safe' distance, where she watches 'till we go back in. Today I went out to the back deck to retrieve my tape measure, when I spotted a black and white tom on the pool deck, who, when he noticed me, trotted over to about 5' and stopped. I made the typical noises one does when calling a cat, and to my surprise he came right over and began brushing against my feet and legs as he walked between and around them. Now I've seen this cat a few times before over the past 6 months or so, but the calico has 'claimed' our yard as her own, so he has been an infrequent visitor. I called my wife out and she was rather surprised, as she expected my urgent beckoning was due to the calico. After a brief discussion, now with my 6 yr. old, Sophie, a bowl of food and the tom making three attempts to get into the house we decided to get the cat carrier and take him to see if we could get him looked at. The town Vet was overbooked and all they could do was scan for a chip - negative on that- and give us an appointment for Friday. So we were gonna have this little guy visiting for a few days - gonna need a few supplies. off to get the basics, then we decided to try the local shelter to see if there were any lost pets wit a description that match up with 'ol tom - negative. I asked the woman behind the counter if she'd give him a quick look over to see what she thought (to me it looked like he'd been on his own for quite a while. She did and confirmed that, in her opinion, my guess was probably the reality. Nevertheless, I filled out a found animal form - just in case- and she gave him a quick once over, at my request, to see if there were any obvious sign of fleas. She said again, in her unprofessional opinion there probably weren't any. She also pointed out that from his teeth (one broken K9 and a back tooth with very red gum-line) and general appearance her guess was that he was about 5-7 years old. She also said that from his appearance she doubted there was anyone looking for him, but urged me to do the due diligence on that front which we are in the process of doing. So he's been in the house for a few hours now and after scouting around a bit has found himself a spot in the upstairs ante room to the bedroom belonging to my wife and I, where he has stayed. This is the reason for my post and the long story. He seemed rather energetic and friendly when I first encountered him, and now he prefers to be on his own, hiding away ( I realize that is anthropomorphizing, but the thought is there and I can't shake it). He doesn't try to get away if I go up to him in his spot and pet him. He'll let me do that for as long as I want, without the slightest complaint. Should I just leave him to himself for now, or should I bring him downstairs to the living room to 'hang out' with the family? Lastly, it seems very clear from his behavior, as opposed to the calico, that he was once a house cat, so I am assuming that he knows what a litter box is and how to use one, but how do I get him to realize that there is one here, where it is located and 'encourage' him to use it? Thanks to anyone who has read through all of this, and my appreciation to any who can help with my questions.