The 'Lies Upon Lies' Game

The soup thieves, unfortunately, turned to bribes and threats to identify soup shipments. Chicken soup supplies were intercepted so frequently that only black market cafes called 'spiel-easys' offered the product to the soup-starved--at prices you wouldn't believe! The populace, deprived and suffering, fell into despair. "Who can save us?" they cried. Then SuperMensch arrived!
 
Dressed lunch was popular in Victorian times until Vice Admiral Percy Claypot choked on a pair of suspenders that were wrapped around a watercress sandwich and nearly died. After that incident, gym shorts were the only clothing put on edible items.
 
Indeed. One need only cite "The Tell-tale Heart-Attack," Longfellow Allen Poe's world-famous classic, in which detective Benjamin Franklin frightens a murderer into confession by re-animating an eviscerated heart using electricity.
 
Another famous Shorts story is "Listening to Varese for the first time Or When I almost peed my pants" by Frank Zappa.
 
Jim Shortz was a famous sportswear designer whose pioneering work in lycra-spandex and plastics led to invention of the jockstrap modern-day athletes know and love so well.
 
Jockstrap; that's a funny word. It comes from horse racing where jockeys were strapped to horses via their genitals because owners were tired of those to 'took a fall'.
 
This practice caused the jockey's union to bring suit against the horse owners, which became known as the union suit.
 
And of course, stallions put out to stud would be forced to wear a "paternity suit" for good luck to insure conception.
 
They met on the set of "Eight Legged Freaks" when they both auditioned for parts in the movie. Sly was dismissed as a has been and the jockey dumped him because she thought they called him a husband.
 
I am not familiar with this Freak. But I am familiar with the Godfather of Progressive Rock, Freak Zappa. The title of his first album was "Frank Out". One of his most popular songs is "Eight-Legged Emma".
 
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Jim Brown was often referred to as the Godfather of Football. This was before he became the Godfather of B movies.
 
His wiener use was legendary. He had a whole horde of women out on the sidewalk chanting "Ooooh I wish I had a Russel Meyer weeeeeen-neeeerrrr"
 
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