The 'Lies Upon Lies' Game

[SuperjazzyJa]

Originally, they went by A Colt of Personality until it was discovered that they didn't have permission from the international association of equestrian horses to use "colt" as part of their name. The IAEH was founded by Elypsis S. Grant whose wording of the rules was sufficient for its time. However, in modern times, the wording was too vague to be properly understood. After a huge debate that resulted in race tracks being closed in Brazil, the band agreed to replace "o" with "u".

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

This one needs to be revived.

The judge presiding over the above case got very hoarse talking about horses. He went through 70,000 lbs of throat lozenges in just one day. As a result, the price of Halls skyrocketed bringing the price of rocket fuel with it. Meanwhile, the courthouse was beamed to Uranus by Scottie and the end result wreaked horribly. However, the entire planet was left well fertilized for farmers wishing to inhabit it.

 

[CoogarXR]

Halls Lozenges were invented by Herbert Ball in 1931. He originally called them "Balls". His slogan "When sickness calls, suck my Balls" played during the "Little Orphan Annie Radio Hour", and it raised a few eyebrows with the parents. So with the help of a local advertizing firm, he decided to change the name to "Halls".

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

That same year, a competitor tried to corner the market by using "Deck the Halls" as a jingle. Unfortunately for him, his brand "Jabs" earned a reputation for violence with its jingle and brand name. Jabs went out of business rather quickly, but founder Ambrose Jabs started a successful vacuum cleaner manufacturing co called "Big Suckers". The ad slogan "Our machines really suck" won the affection of house wives and perverts alike.

 

[bobsvinyl]

Vacuum cleaners were first used by NASA to remove space dust from early missiles. A cleaning lady had an epiphany one day while changing the bag in one of the NASA vacuums and realized it would be a great device for the everyday housewife. J. Edgar Hoover had to approve this conversion to the mass population since NASA was a government agency. Hoover gave his blessing and the public was so appreciative, they named the first residential vacuum after him. The rest is history.

 

[noogies]

I just coined the phrase "the rest is history" 15 minutes ago when I came downstairs after an unsuccessful attempt at a nap and my wife asked me how I slept.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

History was made when, "I slept like a rock" was coined by my friend, Ralph Umberto Reddy in 1997 when he was found sleeping by a famous pebble in Plymouth, MA. The aforementioned quote is how he responded when asked by the cop if he had a nice nap. It was later rumored that he also coined the phrase "I slept like The Rock when he fell asleep on a Dwayne Johnson movie. It was later revealed that D.J.'s wife coined the phrase as a way of slyly implying that Dwayne is not very good in bed.

R.U. always types, prints and signs his name "R.U. Reddy?" yes, with the question mark. In his mind, all things in the physical realm are in question including his own identity.

 

[old_tv_nut]

The question mark was named after Mark T. Quidnunc, who was always asking what was happening. "Questioning Mark" was easier to remember than "Questioning Quidnunc" and eventually got transformed into the punctuation we know today.

 

[noogies]

"Mark Quidnunc" was also another pen name for beloved American author Sam Clemens. He signed it exclusively to the works of pornography he was often forced to produce in order to stave off bankruptcy.

 

[bobsvinyl]

Bankruptcy was a word that originated from the two words, "Bank Rupture", since the creditors had a business by the nuts. The analogy became popular in financial circles. The first use of the term was in 1898 and has been attributed to Jock Strapp, a French saving and loan officer.

 

[noogies]

When the Rupture occurs, the Faithful and Deserving will be kicked in the crotch and then called Home.

 

[CoogarXR]

"The Rupture" was a apocryphal fable that was intentionally omitted from the modern Bible canon. It was believed to be like The Rapture, but instead of people going to heaven, the earth opened up (or ruptured), and everyone went to hell.

 

[harman/kardon]

Not everyone went to hell, Cougar. Recently I visited hell for a couple of nanoseconds and I can tell you, Aretha was not there.

 

[old_tv_nut]

You know how many cities decorate the lamp posts downtown for the holiday season? Well, in Detroit, for many decades, the work was done by one famous man. You've heard his name before, haven't you?

What, you never heard of wreather Franklin?

 

[bobsvinyl]

Franklin Mint was found to add the most flavor to a Mint Julep. Ben Franklin first developed it in his home garden and found that electrical stimulation caused the mint to have robust growth and enhanced the taste. Thanks for another great discovery, Mr. Franklin.

 

[old_tv_nut]

It took a long string of experiments until Franklin found the key ingredient; even then, you could charge it up to striking coincidence.

 

[old_tv_nut]

Another thing, Franklin's desire to communicate his discovery led to the invention of the post office. It would have led to the invention of the telephone, but while Franklin had the string, he had no tin cans.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

The Franklin Mint was opened due to an error in coin printing. It was discovered that the currency was out of date due Miss Managemint not keeping current on currency. As a result, she was fired and Franklin was commissioned the new mint maker. He was later awarded the Peppermint patty prize and has been considered one of the coolest dudes in the world ever since.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

The Franklin Mint was opened due to an error in coin printing. It was discovered that the currency was out of date due Miss Managemint not keeping current on currency. As a result, she was fired and Franklin was commissioned the new mint maker. He was later awarded the Peppermint patty prize and has been considered one of the coolest dudes in the world ever since.

 

[old_tv_nut]

While working on the U.S. five-cent piece, the designer famously told Jefferson that he was buffaloed.