Discussion in 'General Off Topic Forums' started by the skipper, Jun 11, 2017.
1) Never mount the hummingbird feeder near the bug zapper.
Probably won't happen much anymore since CRTs are mostly gone, but be careful measuring the high voltage input to a color television tube. Got zapped (hence my username).
I can't drink hard liquor, it can turn me into a mean bastard.
Never flip a guy off wearing a mitten . It's just a wave .
When she says "It's fine, don't worry about it."
Worry about it because it's NOT fine.
I will tighten the nut just a bit more.
It is good enough ----(It is most of the time).
Love and marriage is not for life. It is a temporary feeling and contract.
Know someone for more than a month and ten days before you marry them!
Never touch the speaker wires of 2 running amps together.
Don't delay in seeing a doctor when a medical problem seems to be getting worse.
There was a small ward full of us "brave men" with the same story, we didn't want anyone to worry about us.
If it feels broken, it probably is.
That marriage is the leading cause of divorce.
Habanero peppers are just as hot coming out as going in.
life on planet earth ..
If you can't look past things that rub you the wrong way than you best keep to yourself.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it until it's broke.
Unless you see a baby crawling out from between her legs, never ask a woman if she`s pregnant !
Better to be alone than stuck with the wrong person.
While at the bar the other night, I overheard three very hefty women talking.
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"
One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"
So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"
And that's the last thing I remember.
If you're falling off the step-stool, let go of the light fixture.
Buy good quality toilet paper.
Separate names with a comma.