Sounds like you may be left brain dominant, more analytical than creative. I'm more right brain dominant. But again, my limits stopped at Jazz improvisation on the keys. I was a decent ROCK keyboardist. If I stuck with it, I'm sure I could have made it a career, albeit not a very lucrative one. Jazz, on the other hand, was beyond my scope of talent-sets. If I stuck with it, I could have been mediocre, and that wasn't something I was comfortable with.