Discussion in 'General Off Topic Forums' started by KentTeffeteller, Jan 10, 2018.
Sincere condolences to you and your family.
Prayers for you and your family...
OMG David , so sorry to hear , I hope she rests in peace knowing her young man turned out to be a pretty durn good guy.
Thoughts and prayers with and for you, David.
To all who have expressed your condolences and care-thank you.
Losing my mom at 25 is something I had never truly considered, and, frankly, I'm terrified of going through life without her.
I'm a bit biased, but she was the finest example of humanity to ever walk this planet, and the world is a darker place without her.
Mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in mid November, and I had an idea that something wasn't right before that, but as I was living on my own, and working non-stop, I couldn't check in on her as much as i wanted to.
The cancer was in her liver, spleen, lungs, and abdominal bones, a CT scan revealed.
To make a long story short, she moved in with me immediately, and I took care of her every need for the last weeks of her life-thankfully I have a boss that understood what I was going through. We tried an oral dose of chemo to try and control what was a very aggressive form of cancer, but it didn't work.
Mom went into hospice last Monday morning, and passed Tuesday.
To give her the only send-off I thought appropriate, I managed to convince the temple my extended family had belonged to for over a century to replace their cantor (for most of the service) with the one she so adored from our former temple (that had shut down). This had never been done before, but the resulting service was beautiful, inspirational, and the most uplifting funeral I've ever heard of. Mom didn't want a funeral, but a memorial service. My family would have skinned me alive had I not gone with the traditional Jewish funeral and burial rituals, so I created a compromise that she was happy with (right up to the end, I kept her abreast of what I was planning). Mom was content to go at the end, and wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to have a dark and mournful affair to remember her by.
This is the speech I gave:
My mother didn't ask for a funeral. She asked for a memorial service, in the style of services given for some dear departed friends-celebratory of life, love, and all of the good things which her existence on this planet brought to every person in this room-and beyond.
To respect the rituals, and expectations of those whose lives she touched, and because we are expected to gather together today, we are here.
To commemorate my mother, all that she meant, and her impact to everyone in her world, I've tried to create this service as a hybrid-to honor her memory, her wishes, and the traditions of those she left behind, as much as possible.
She did not want us to mourn in the traditional sense, but to reflect upon those feelings of warmth, comfort, compassion, healing, and the truest, most unselfish form of friendship that she manifested to all.
To a select blessed few, my mother was connected to their life by virtue of birth, or marriage. To the vast majority here, she was connected by her own special bond much stronger than blood-her friendship. To have her shining beacon of friendship turned upon you was to light up your life. Not once did a person feel worse after talking to my mother-even for the briefest moment.
Mom was lucky-she was gainfully employed doing something she not only loved, but excelled at. For seventeen years, my mom thrived at creating unique crafts for children out of nothing-she brought unique joy to hundreds of thousands-my guesstimate is close to a half million-visitors to her Creation Station. Her impact to the St. Louis Community as a whole cannot be overstated. Every time she went anywhere, someone recognized her from her as “Miss Linda, from the Creation Station” and eagerly brought their (sometimes now very grown child) over to see her. Many still remembered her, years later, and she remembered every one of them.
To list a third of her noteworthy acts of kindness and selflessness would keep us here until the shabbat services started, so let me touch upon two highlights that many in attendance may not know about. While writing this, I wracked my brain, looking at the archives of my memory for standout things that she DIDN'T do for everyone in her life-her multitude of kindnesses were equally distributed among everyone.
But, I found two.
-Mom made almost a dozen scrapbooks for people she loved-she would reach out to everyone she could find who was in the recipient's life, mail them a page, and ask them to write a letter, include photographs, or share a treasured memory-all without telling the lucky person this was going on, and present the album to them without fanfare.
-She was adopted as a grandmother by the incredible S----- family, of St. Peters, and for the last three years, let every shining facet of her soul into their lives, which brought mom as much joy as it did them. I had never seen her so happy as when she went to visit the S-----s. Though I met them barely over a week ago, I was able to see first hand how much she meant to every person in their family, and her true delight in having some little ones to enjoy.
To quickly reflect upon my own life, words cannot come close to describing the patience, virtue, support she showered me with at every turn-even when I didn't deserve it. She was kindness incarnate. As I've grown into most of an adult, I begin to see how unique my upbringing was, and my short 25 years knowing her as a son can never be surpassed.
In the words of my friend Joe:
“She did not know a stranger”
Having met my mom but a single time, my friend Austi15 sent me this poem after learning of her passing:
We met only briefly.
An impromptu visit about loudspeakers
In the little place she shared with her son.
She got up with a smile and greeted me,
Even though she was tired.
She filled in for two,
Son's father on the road
She raised a far better man
Thank almost anyone I know.
I can't pretend to understand
No words can heal that wound.
But here's to Mrs. MacRunnel.
Linda, your mom.
The world is a better place because of her,
And through you she'll go on.
The world has lost its most perfect human being, but everything that made her unique will live in the hearts and minds of those who knew her.
By some miracle, I was able to read that to the assembled hundred-plus people in attendance (on a Friday morning, no less), and felt like I had done my mom right.
Life must go on, and all I can do is try to continue on her traditions of kindness and selflessness.
So sorry for your loss. Just from your posts, one could easily tell that you had a great relationship with your mother. Your speech was excellent and moving.
David that was beautiful I am sure your Mom would be proud. Even though I have never met you I can tell that your Mom raised you right and that speaks to the character of your Mom.
Sincere condolences to you and your family. Some of my happiest memories of my mother is when I made her roar with laughter. She was on the same silly wavelength in homour as me.
David, you've done her a solid. And I can attest that she raised a bright, caring young man.
Condolences to you and yours David.
That is a beautiful and loving tribute to you mother David. I am certain that everyone that heard you speak those words, or are fortunate to be able to read them here, have been touched by the message of joy and love that you shared. Thank you for sharing with me.
David, you, your mother, your family and friends are in my thoughts an prayers.
Peace be with you.
RIP and Godspeed Miss Linda and condolences to you David. You certainly reflect your mother's love in your speech, in your actions, and in the love you've shown to everyone who was there and here at AK. A very moving tribute, thank you for sharing it with us.
Very nice tribute to your Mom, David. I'm sorry for your loss.
David, my deepest condolences to you and the family in your time of mourning.
My condolences to you and the rest of your family.
If a child of mine were able to say half the things of me that you have said of your mother, I would certainly feel I had done a good job as a parent , and that I had left the world a little better than I found it in the person of my living legacy.
I am quite certain your mom saw in you the same things we do reading this thread, and that she was proud to be your parent
Your tribute to your mother is moving and heartfelt. That you could be with her through those last days surely gave her peace, and I hope you, too, find peace, David.
My condolences, there really are no words but time heals.
Sorry to hear of your loss... I know, however she is with you in spirit.
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