Well, by damn, it REALLY is Sandy G!! Glad you're back with the ol' gang!!
Jesus Christ! Thanks for making me well up...@Sandy G my father wasn't a stoic type, and was free with his emotions, but I have to say I was both shocked and touched when he returned from the fields one day, eyes all red.
I asked him what was the matter, and he told me that "Ethel" our Charolais cow who had calved into her 16th year, only producing 2 bulls that whole time, had gotten down and couldn't get up (she was 22). Dad took his pistol and sat with her for about 1 hour, talking soothing to her and thanking her for all she had done for our farm. Then, in as humane a way as possible, he put her down.
It was sad, but very touching. She'd come to the fence and we'd feed her old produce the local grocer would give us for free. She was quite the cow, more a family member than simple stock.
Let the weeping, wailing, & Nashing of teeth commence... Or izzat "Packarding" or "Kelvinatoring" of teeth ? Here I go w/obscure unfunny jokes & quips I was oncet SO infamous for....Sandy Geiger, AKA Mouth of the South, Unca Sandy, dispensing wisdom, knowledge, & total Bovine Scatology from a sleepy little town in NE Tennessee, Rogersville, right down the turnpike from Pixley & Hooterville. Believe it or Nutz, I have missed youse bunch of Yardbyrds like you wouldn't believe. I 1st dumped about half an ounce of diet coke on my keyboard, which of course killed it, & being VERY computer illiterate, I didn't realize those effin' things cost almost nothing, you pop a new one into yr puterator & you're back in bidness. Hey, I'm a child of the fitties, all these new devices befuddle moi. Not only that, I am firmly convinced most of said devices have a strong, personal hatred towards Yrs Trly, which is reciprocated. My electronic "Jones" is reasonably ancient TVs & radios, BIG muthas that are full of glowing firebottles, known as Tubes. No, they don't have the features of modern soiled state schtuff, won't go as loud, what have you, but who cares. Gimme a good R-390A receiver on a quiet night & I'll SHOW you how good Papaw can be. The other reason I've ben on hiatus so long was that last summer I got tangled up in my 2 bigazz feet, fell down, went BOOM & broke at least 2 ribs. My wife, who recently retired from the VA as an RN, thought I'd punctured a lung. They tossed me in the horsepistol, & got 3 litres of crud outta said lung. Was in there for a couple weeks, & I'd SWEAR on a stack of Bibles that they were holding me against my will in a five & dime & they wouldn't let me talk to her. I tried to get 'em to gimme some of whatever it was that made me think & see all that, but no chance. They claimed they new gave me anything but my normal diabetic/blood pressure meds. Yeah, & I'm a Monkey's Uncle, too."Health Care Perfeshionals"... Goddang low rent dope pushers is more accurate. Boys, DON'T try to out Bullshyte a BS Artiste like me. You will fail...
Well, that's about it for my re-introduction. I also love old suicide-door Lincolns, guns (Just became the proud daddy of 2 fifties, a 50AE Desert Eagle & a Model 500 S&W revolver.) I am conservative-But I basically don't like ANY politicos, period. One thing I REALLY, REALLY wish our betters would do would be to stop all the phone scammers. No, I DON'T wanna lower my credit card interest rate, & we paid off my student loans-Not that I had any to begin with- around 1979. Quit bothering me. I can be a surly sumbich, but I'd rather make people laugh any day.
OMG !!!Oh, & excuse me for being SO sexist, racist, al that other bad stuff, but I'm a 61 yr old MALE, & while Sweet young Jennifer Goodhead might have had the highest grades ever at her medical school in Urology, I'm sorry, but I just don't wanna spill my guts about my Pee-Pee troubles w/her. Nothin' personal, Jennie-Poo, but my pal Juan Tomas is gonna be drawed up past my lower intestines & HE ain't likely to come out &play. Gimme an old, gruff garrulous old GUY who WON'T go "Ewwwww !" when he 1st sees Mr Dingus...."Dayum, Kid, that's the worst case of the old Bullhead Clap I've seen since 1952, when I was workin' for the UN on the Irrawaddy...."
Oh, & excuse me for being SO sexist, racist, al that other bad stuff, but I'm a 61 yr old MALE, & while Sweet young Jennifer Goodhead might have had the highest grades ever at her medical school in Urology, I'm sorry, but I just don't wanna spill my guts about my Pee-Pee troubles w/her. Nothin' personal, Jennie-Poo, but my pal Juan Tomas is gonna be drawed up past my lower intestines & HE ain't likely to come out &play. Gimme an old, gruff garrulous old GUY who WON'T go "Ewwwww !" when he 1st sees Mr Dingus...."Dayum, Kid, that's the worst case of the old Bullhead Clap I've seen since 1952, when I was workin' for the UN on the Irrawaddy...."
They have also started asking if you own guns, now I am not much of a conspiracy theorist but that one raises a red flag even for me.