Well, I AIN'T new, but...I'm back.....

heya! Welcome back Sandy G - sound like you gnawed thru all the straps
and ran outta that horspital at a real good time!
 
One thing I've learned from this latest episode is that our vaunted health care industry/profession will absolutely NEVER, ever "Cure" anything-All they do is shuttle you off to the next "Specialist" who will start at ground zero & have to run every test, draw a couple gallons of blood-On top of the umpteen times you've been stuck before-Prescribe a new batch of pills that are of extremely dubious benefit in practice, NEVER spend more than 15 minutes total w/you, & yet can deduce yr entire medical history just on asking you 15 general questions. Oh, & then send Medicare a bil for a couple grand. MEDICINE is nothing but an incredibly sophisticated racket, such as Tony Soprano & Co could only dream of. They sent me to a shrink-why I needed to see a shrink for breaking 2 ribs was never explained to me- & the kid I saw-a college senior, so he said- was almost incomprehensible, because of a terrific speech impediment- He was following, apparently under the direction of this ginormous gal who was something called a "Nurse Practitioner".... Nowadays, you don't even get to see a real doctor, just one of his/her minions. These 2 rejects from Mother Murphy's Home for the Halting decided that I can no longer operate a motor vehicle by my lonesome, from here on out, I gotta have a co-pilot. This from asking me a dozen vague question that were apropos of NOTHING. Its a good thing I was in a good mood that day, or they would have REALLY seen "Crazy".... My advice is to each & all of the AK/VK family is to at all costs, stay the hell out of the clutches if the "Health Care Perfesionals"-They WON'T cure you for anything more involved than a splinter in yr finger-& that's if you're lucky. Where did kindly old DR Goforth, my GP for the 1st 40 or so years of my life, go ?!? I'd go to see him, he'd examine me, refill a prescription, & then we'd shoot the shyte for half an hour or so.Today's medicine is SO like that 3 stooges short where Moe keeps yelling "For Duty & Humanity !"... There' no duty except to the almighty dollar, & humanity ....Fuggeddaboutit...
 
@Sandy G my father wasn't a stoic type, and was free with his emotions, but I have to say I was both shocked and touched when he returned from the fields one day, eyes all red.

I asked him what was the matter, and he told me that "Ethel" our Charolais cow who had calved into her 16th year, only producing 2 bulls that whole time, had gotten down and couldn't get up (she was 22). Dad took his pistol and sat with her for about 1 hour, talking soothing to her and thanking her for all she had done for our farm. Then, in as humane a way as possible, he put her down.

It was sad, but very touching. She'd come to the fence and we'd feed her old produce the local grocer would give us for free. She was quite the cow, more a family member than simple stock.
Jesus Christ! Thanks for making me well up...:(
 
Let the weeping, wailing, & Nashing of teeth commence... Or izzat "Packarding" or "Kelvinatoring" of teeth ? Here I go w/obscure unfunny jokes & quips I was oncet SO infamous for....Sandy Geiger, AKA Mouth of the South, Unca Sandy, dispensing wisdom, knowledge, & total Bovine Scatology from a sleepy little town in NE Tennessee, Rogersville, right down the turnpike from Pixley & Hooterville. Believe it or Nutz, I have missed youse bunch of Yardbyrds like you wouldn't believe. I 1st dumped about half an ounce of diet coke on my keyboard, which of course killed it, & being VERY computer illiterate, I didn't realize those effin' things cost almost nothing, you pop a new one into yr puterator & you're back in bidness. Hey, I'm a child of the fitties, all these new devices befuddle moi. Not only that, I am firmly convinced most of said devices have a strong, personal hatred towards Yrs Trly, which is reciprocated. My electronic "Jones" is reasonably ancient TVs & radios, BIG muthas that are full of glowing firebottles, known as Tubes. No, they don't have the features of modern soiled state schtuff, won't go as loud, what have you, but who cares. Gimme a good R-390A receiver on a quiet night & I'll SHOW you how good Papaw can be. The other reason I've ben on hiatus so long was that last summer I got tangled up in my 2 bigazz feet, fell down, went BOOM & broke at least 2 ribs. My wife, who recently retired from the VA as an RN, thought I'd punctured a lung. They tossed me in the horsepistol, & got 3 litres of crud outta said lung. Was in there for a couple weeks, & I'd SWEAR on a stack of Bibles that they were holding me against my will in a five & dime & they wouldn't let me talk to her. I tried to get 'em to gimme some of whatever it was that made me think & see all that, but no chance. They claimed they new gave me anything but my normal diabetic/blood pressure meds. Yeah, & I'm a Monkey's Uncle, too."Health Care Perfeshionals"... Goddang low rent dope pushers is more accurate. Boys, DON'T try to out Bullshyte a BS Artiste like me. You will fail...
Well, that's about it for my re-introduction. I also love old suicide-door Lincolns, guns (Just became the proud daddy of 2 fifties, a 50AE Desert Eagle & a Model 500 S&W revolver.) I am conservative-But I basically don't like ANY politicos, period. One thing I REALLY, REALLY wish our betters would do would be to stop all the phone scammers. No, I DON'T wanna lower my credit card interest rate, & we paid off my student loans-Not that I had any to begin with- around 1979. Quit bothering me. I can be a surly sumbich, but I'd rather make people laugh any day.

Um, you could've saved yourself some trouble by not falling down in the first place; especially when your gettin' on in years! But if you insist, all you really need is some of Pat Boone's Relief Factor and your all set! Next time you'll know...No charge, by the way, for the sage advice.
So, you were gone?;)
 
Great to see you back and your absolutely correct about the medical industry today, health is defined by nutrition and not by a synthetic that is a copy of an actual plant enzyme. Godspeed in your recovery.....
 
Oh, & excuse me for being SO sexist, racist, al that other bad stuff, but I'm a 61 yr old MALE, & while Sweet young Jennifer Goodhead might have had the highest grades ever at her medical school in Urology, I'm sorry, but I just don't wanna spill my guts about my Pee-Pee troubles w/her. Nothin' personal, Jennie-Poo, but my pal Juan Tomas is gonna be drawed up past my lower intestines & HE ain't likely to come out &play. Gimme an old, gruff garrulous old GUY who WON'T go "Ewwwww !" when he 1st sees Mr Dingus...."Dayum, Kid, that's the worst case of the old Bullhead Clap I've seen since 1952, when I was workin' for the UN on the Irrawaddy...."
 
Good to see you again Sandy, hope 2019 is a damn sight better for you and us. Maybe looks for some DO (Osteopathic) doctors, many of them listen really well. The TN DO school is at Lincoln DeBusk but it and it’s main clinic is in Harrogate and their closest clinic is in New Tazewell, so both 40-50 min away, plus I don’t know the hospitals in the area.
 
Oh, & excuse me for being SO sexist, racist, al that other bad stuff, but I'm a 61 yr old MALE, & while Sweet young Jennifer Goodhead might have had the highest grades ever at her medical school in Urology, I'm sorry, but I just don't wanna spill my guts about my Pee-Pee troubles w/her. Nothin' personal, Jennie-Poo, but my pal Juan Tomas is gonna be drawed up past my lower intestines & HE ain't likely to come out &play. Gimme an old, gruff garrulous old GUY who WON'T go "Ewwwww !" when he 1st sees Mr Dingus...."Dayum, Kid, that's the worst case of the old Bullhead Clap I've seen since 1952, when I was workin' for the UN on the Irrawaddy...."
OMG !!!:rflmao::rflmao::rflmao::rflmao:
 
Good to have you back around these parts Sandy, the old place just wasn't the same without our local Crusty Curmudgeon. BTW health care professionals are instructed to ask all kinds of personal information regarding your drinking etc, for the great insurance company collective conscience, to be filed for future use against you. They have also started asking if you own guns, now I am not much of a conspiracy theorist but that one raises a red flag even for me. Welcome home.
 
Oh, & excuse me for being SO sexist, racist, al that other bad stuff, but I'm a 61 yr old MALE, & while Sweet young Jennifer Goodhead might have had the highest grades ever at her medical school in Urology, I'm sorry, but I just don't wanna spill my guts about my Pee-Pee troubles w/her. Nothin' personal, Jennie-Poo, but my pal Juan Tomas is gonna be drawed up past my lower intestines & HE ain't likely to come out &play. Gimme an old, gruff garrulous old GUY who WON'T go "Ewwwww !" when he 1st sees Mr Dingus...."Dayum, Kid, that's the worst case of the old Bullhead Clap I've seen since 1952, when I was workin' for the UN on the Irrawaddy...."

That's tellin' 'em Unc. :thumbsup:
 
They have also started asking if you own guns, now I am not much of a conspiracy theorist but that one raises a red flag even for me.

Really? Sheesh, before long they'll be asking about crossbows, maybe even slingshots. And then what? Heavy Metal albums?
 
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