When AK members - friends - silently disappear

Discussion in 'General Off Topic Forums' started by HarmanKardon, Aug 21, 2013.

  1. HarmanKardon

    HarmanKardon Tubes still smell funny Subscriber

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    When AK members become friends to us, what might happen quite often, and those long time members disappear after 2000 or 5000 or more posts apruptly I ask myself: What might have happened to that friend - after you got no answer on pm requests. Two of my friends disappeard this year, that makes me pensive.

    On the other hand, I have to accept that. We do not know what might have occured in the life of member X and there are so many things that might have ended the forum activity - an accident, sudden poverty, illness, death. There might be of course also the one or other less dramatic reason. Anyway I ask myself "Where is he just now in this moment? Is he at least okay so far?" But I have to accept that I will get no answer. I think some of you made similar experiences. Do you?
     
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  2. botrytis

    botrytis Trying not to be a Small Speaker Hoarder Subscriber

    People come and go on this forum. It happens - people get bored, get other priorities in life, etc. If they were RL friends, you should have their phone and address, shouldn't you?
     
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  3. mhardy6647

    mhardy6647 AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    ... and then there are people like me and botrytis ;-)
     
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  4. Sandy G

    Sandy G Spiteful Old Cuss Staff Member Moderator Subscriber

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    ...An' ME......(grin)
     
  5. botrytis

    botrytis Trying not to be a Small Speaker Hoarder Subscriber

    Heck - if Unca Sandy left, the forum would collapse as one of the cornerstones would be gone.....
     
  6. HarmanKardon

    HarmanKardon Tubes still smell funny Subscriber

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    ,,,ahh Sandy. You are the incarnation of a Geysir. So and so much eruptions per day, faithfully. :D
     

     

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  7. HarmanKardon

    HarmanKardon Tubes still smell funny Subscriber

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    RL friends are real friends I suppose? I think you are right concerning address, fortunately I have some from AK members. Phone makes not so much sense for me. Too expensive. I am not living in America.
     
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  8. botrytis

    botrytis Trying not to be a Small Speaker Hoarder Subscriber

    Well - call them once and setup Skype with them.
     
  9. Wigwam Jones

    Wigwam Jones Caesar non supra grammati

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    I've left several forums when I no longer wished to be part of them.

    Sometimes because I could not get along with one or more other members. I know that shocks some of you to hear :)

    Sometimes because I recognized that the things being said were sufficiently distressing to me that they were causing me problems in my personal life; my problem, not anyone else's problem.

    Once because I was actually being harassed at work by a fellow forum member who took it upon himself to track me from employer to employer and complain to management about the things I said online (yes, seriously, and I lost a job over it too).

    I haven't been banned from a forum, but I don't doubt that it could happen in the future; I tend to be blunt and my humor doesn't always translate well online.

    In any case, however, I don't like to do the "I'm taking my toys and going home and you'll be sorry when I'm gone" speech. I just leave. Likewise, when others leave, I don't spend a lot of time worrying about it if they're not also pals in meatspace. I just assume they have their reasons, and if they wanted me to know them, they'd tell me. Since they didn't, I figure that's the way they want it, and that's perfectly OK with me.

    Sometimes I leave a forum for awhile to think about things, such as my own behavior, or my responses to certain things being said online and how it affects me. Maybe it's not healthy for me to be there; or maybe I need to modify my outlook in order to participate without it being unhealthy for me. If that happens, sometimes I get my stuff together and decide to come back. Sometimes I do not. In any case, it's never a case of stomping off in a huff. It's just time to move on.

    I like it here, don't want to leave. I've made a lot of good friends here, including meatspace friends. I'd hate to leave that behind. If it happens, however, life goes on for everyone involved. Unless I kack it, in which case, my RL friends should please help Mrs Wiggy sort through my audio crap and toss the dross (which is most of it) and my shade will be most appreciative.
     
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  10. Wigwam Jones

    Wigwam Jones Caesar non supra grammati

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    RL = Real Life. Also known as meatspace, non-virtual, ugly bags of mostly water, etc.
     
  11. mhardy6647

    mhardy6647 AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    I thought about adding you to my short list... but you, somewhat atypically, hadn't made an appearance in this thread yet...

    ;-)
     

     

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  12. HarmanKardon

    HarmanKardon Tubes still smell funny Subscriber

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    Thanks for the explanation Wigwam.

    It is okay to leave a forum without a big "I'm taking my toys..." show, but I think it would be decent, if possible, to inform the closer members - virtual friends - about the reason. It would be simply appropriate against somebody one had a closer exchange for a long time.
     
  13. Mike Gibson

    Mike Gibson Modulator Staff Member Super Mod Subscriber

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    Most of the folks that I knew well enough to call a friend that have left have done so with a bit of warning. If not articulated at least it has been apparent in their actions prior to leaving. They usually PM about life changes and so forth. Those who leave in anger or dismay usually exit in a more public manner. My interest here has it's highs and lows. There is always someone to talk to or guide me if I but take the time to let them know my feelings.
     
  14. Hyfi

    Hyfi Addicted Member

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    Most people use the same moniker on multiple sites. Have you tried a google search to see if they are posting anywhere else?
     
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  15. beans

    beans Got arth-a-ritis

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    Lemme guess. It involved politics, not audio.
     
  16. Hyperion

    Hyperion Roobarb & Custard Subscriber

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    Most of my friends are outside of AK. I would probably either leave a post, or drop someone a PM if I was going to leave.
     

     

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  17. stereofanboy

    stereofanboy AK Subscriber Subscriber

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    Maybe I'm morbid, but this is something I've wondered about many times. I wonder about people dying, and us not even knowing about it.

    When I first joined, I tended to do more specific searches than I do now, and as a result would often read threads that were years old. There were some very prolific posters that had been gone for some time and I didn't realize it until I became more savvy. At least one of these made a brief return after a lengthy hiatus and I felt like he was an old friend even though his most recent post before the hiatus was quite some time before I joined AK.

    Another thing I've wondered about are banned members. There have been at least a couple that were such helpful and pleasant posters that I couldn't imagine what they did to get themselves banned. I guess you have to be right there to see it before it gets sanitized, because a search of their last couple of weeks of posting didn't turn up anything out of the ordinary.

    Real life friends or not, there aren't any here that I wish would leave. Even the ones with whose opinion I almost always disagree make a positive contribution to my experience here.
     
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  18. onwardjames

    onwardjames Hoardimus Maximus Subscriber

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    stereofanboy, I too, have wondered about the banned members. I've seen longtime, wonderful posters end up banned, and thought..."hmmn"

    What happened to Thor? Bully? Stuwee? Haven't heard from any of them in a bit...oh, and Yamaha B-2...I think that was his screen name (dude from NY I think, with all the juicy gear)
     
  19. beans

    beans Got arth-a-ritis

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    Stuwee... there's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

    I have known of members to simply quit loading this site and other forums abruptly due to fears of viruses, etc.
     
  20. Wigwam Jones

    Wigwam Jones Caesar non supra grammati

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    There was a period of time when my netbook, which I must run Windows 7 on for various reasons beyond my control, caught a virus every single time I went to AK using Firefox. I switched to Chrome, disabled Java and all that other helper stuff, and the problem went away. I have not gone back to non-Chrome web-browsing. Certainly wasn't AK's fault, I believe it had to do with some of the advertisements. But the problem is resolved to the best of my knowledge; I have not had any issues in quite some time.
     

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