When AK members - friends - silently disappear

[parman]

I think people leave forums because there's nothing new for them in it, if it's the same thing everytime they enter there's no reason to go back. I have left another audio forum because of the continual political posts that show up in the new post section. It's better here where they're in there own forum that you don't have to see unless you want to.

 

[harman/kardon]

I think people leave forums because there's nothing new for them in it, if it's the same thing everytime they enter there's no reason to go back. I have left another audio forum because of the continual political posts that show up in the new post section. It's better here where they're in there own forum that you don't have to see unless you want to.

I got your point. People come and go. But I mean something particular. I mean people who built up more or less deep relationships to other members and disappear apruptly without a sign of life however.

 

[michaelhigh]

JohnVF?? I think he left AK. Not certain, tho.

Look for his thread "Saying Goodbye".

 

[GlobalWarming]

JohnVF?? I think he left AK. Not certain, tho.

Yes....

Thanks!

I think he became sick and tired of the constant teasing of some members whom favor vintage over modern..... Ups! that is another subject, sorry!

Too bad..... Like the saying goes...... "Variety is the spice of life"

I am sure others will miss him too....

 

[ehoove]

It is easy to allow one's self to become frustrated by the monotony of countless threads on the same subject by new members, as well as being asked for help from members then never even getting a simple thank you, or worse them taking credit for your direction.

The longer you are on any forum the more imperative it is to avoid the situations that frustrate or get too you so you can continue to enjoy the AK forum. Some can't do that or feel it is their duty to correct every misconception or perceived wrong notion about our hobby which leads to them leaving quietly or in anger, cursing going out the door.

The best way to solidify AK Friendships is to participate in a local AK Get together event, and get to know your virtual friends in a reality setting. I have come to really enjoy our Mid Atlantic MD-VA-DC events held twice a year. These have kept me more involved in AK than anything else about the forums. FWIW

Remember, it takes more than getting involved in threads with another member to develop an actual friendship. IMHO

Regards,
Jim

 

[eteller]

I'm at a point of contentment with my audio hobby, that will probably change during the winter. For now I keep busy in a lot of the other sections. AK really is a great place where I've met a lot of great people.

 

[JimPA]

There sure are many reasons why AK members-friends-silently disappear.

I do not claim to have all of the possible answers.

I found AK by doing a search of my favorite brand of speakers.

1 Some participate here on the forum seeking advice from others on what components and speakers to purchase and only stay a short time.

2 There are those in search of others that are listening to some of the same exact components or speakers to share their opinions.

3 Besides passing on some members may have taken ill.

4 Not having enough time due to other obligations and having to earn a living could be another reason.

I think I may have made some friends on the forum and hopefully more friends than enemies.

I feel as though I have gotten to know some members and in particuliar the members I have communicated with while on AK Chat.

 

[zebra03]

I've left several forums when I no longer wished to be part of them.

Sometimes because I could not get along with one or more other members. I know that shocks some of you to hear

Sometimes because I recognized that the things being said were sufficiently distressing to me that they were causing me problems in my personal life; my problem, not anyone else's problem.

Once because I was actually being harassed at work by a fellow forum member who took it upon himself to track me from employer to employer and complain to management about the things I said online (yes, seriously, and I lost a job over it too).

I haven't been banned from a forum, but I don't doubt that it could happen in the future; I tend to be blunt and my humor doesn't always translate well online.

In any case, however, I don't like to do the "I'm taking my toys and going home and you'll be sorry when I'm gone" speech. I just leave. Likewise, when others leave, I don't spend a lot of time worrying about it if they're not also pals in meatspace. I just assume they have their reasons, and if they wanted me to know them, they'd tell me. Since they didn't, I figure that's the way they want it, and that's perfectly OK with me.

Sometimes I leave a forum for awhile to think about things, such as my own behavior, or my responses to certain things being said online and how it affects me. Maybe it's not healthy for me to be there; or maybe I need to modify my outlook in order to participate without it being unhealthy for me. If that happens, sometimes I get my stuff together and decide to come back. Sometimes I do not. In any case, it's never a case of stomping off in a huff. It's just time to move on.

I like it here, don't want to leave. I've made a lot of good friends here, including meatspace friends. I'd hate to leave that behind. If it happens, however, life goes on for everyone involved. Unless I kack it, in which case, my RL friends should please help Mrs Wiggy sort through my audio crap and toss the dross (which is most of it) and my shade will be most appreciative.

I can honestly say Wiggy , I would miss your insightful , intelligent posts . You always have something to say and I would miss that . I would miss Chicks too if he left . So don't .

 

[uenjoymyself]

Real life friends or not, there aren't any here that I wish would leave. Even the ones with whose opinion I almost always disagree make a positive contribution to my experience here.

:thmbsp:

 

[harman/kardon]

oldgringo left the show. Forever? I don't know. As he told me he left because of... you might guess who/what I mean... A brilliant brain, extremely smart, thousand times smarter than me. Very special humor, often ironic, I liked that. Pity!

Other guys I will appreciate will enter the stage. So recently Bob (bobsvinyl) - he is such an enrichment for this forum.

That is how the City of AudioKarma works: people move, like in a nonvirtual city as well.

 

[oldgringo]

oldgringo left the show. Forever? I don't know. As he told me he left because of... you might guess who/what I mean... A brilliant brain, extremely smart, thousand times smarter than me. Very special humor, often ironic, I liked that. Pity!

Other guys I will appreciate will enter the stage. So recently Bob (bobsvinyl) - he is such an enrichment for this forum.

That is how the City of AudioKarma works: people move, like in a nonvirtual city as well.

Well, even though I may be baited [Chris!] . . .

'Time Out', for meditation, is where I'm at.

Not all that smart - not enough of a 'team player' for many, here!

ATB Chris!

Cheers (to one and all), og

 

[bowtie427ss]

If they glean any degree of satisfaction or gratification from it, the truly addictive personality will stick with something for a long time.

There are two kinds of AKer, the experimenter and the addict. Experimenters come and go. You always know where to find an addict.

 

[Arkay]

I've left most of the very few boards that I've posted on, yet still go back to half of them on occasion. I've almost left AK several times, and frankly am surprised that I'm still coming here at all. I don't write the long posts that I used to (maybe once in a rare while), nor post nearly as often, because my life, quite simply, has moved on more into other areas.

In the past, I would see hundreds of new (to me) interesting vintage audio units every day, amidst stacks of thousands of units, and come home with anywhere from a couple to a couple dozen models to look up online. The then-thriving used-audio-gear market here, probably unique in the world, fed a constantly-evolving interest. Today, what is left of that market shows me a handful of things, with very little new stuff to share. My main system now evolves only very slowly; I probably won't get anything new for the rest of this year (although I MIGHT; can never be sure), so there is less impetus to post any "find" posts.

Sure, it's nice to wish online friends happy birthday and welcome strangers, but how much of one's life can be spent on that stuff? Audio remains a major influence in my life, but not as dominant as it once was.

If I leave here, it might be because I just don't have much to contribute any more, or because I no longer get much out of it... or it might be because I'm dead (almost did that last year! ). But for now, I'll stick around... just not as much as in past years.

That's life. Our interests evolve and change over time, they come and they go. It's probably a good thing, too -- otherwise, life would be boring and we would stagnate. But I do hope the regular stalwarts hang around here longer, and I do miss some of the old cadre. Heck, I miss the days when there were only a couple of forums and one knew every posting member, at least as an online persona. But nothing stays constant in this world.

 

[Arkay]

A somewhat non-flattering alien assessment of humankind from STTNG, IIRC? :scratch2:

You are absolutely right. :thmbsp: Season One, and it's on either disc 4, 5 or 6 of the 7-disc set-- I know because I've just been re-watching that series in the past few days, and the "ugly bags of water" was definitely in one of those episodes! :yes:


...but I don't know if that was the original reference. A Google search might be in order?

 

[harman/kardon]

The last sentence in your post Jim:

Generally the use of the terms "friend" or "friendship" is not considered carefully enough here and in the rest of the internet (Facebook!!!) as well, used too often, too easygoing, too thoughtless.

Falsification, trivialization is what I did to those terms also, at least several times. I try to improve the use of these terms, they are among the most valuable we have, we have to appreciate and to protect them as they deserve it.

Change Lee is the fundamental principle of all... The Book Of Changes... ("But nothing stays constant in this world.")

 

[onwardjames]

With much effort, I made it to AKFest 2008 with my girlfriend (now wife) and got to hear setups I couldn't have possibly imagined. We spent the whole afternoon going room to room, and I tried to mingle with anyone and everyone. I asked questions, met many nice people (Urizen, Grumpy, Retrostereo I think) and generally had a pleasant time. Sad to say, wife and I got back to hotel room around 6 pm and promptly crashed out....so tired. So I didn't get to drink or dine with anyone. Remember, it's over 500 miles from my home (south of Bowling Green, Ky) and I had to really finagle the boss to get the time off.


It was an experience I'll forever treasure, and just like on here, some folks were warm and kind, others, not so much. Some were engaging and pleasant, others guarded and curt.

I remember getting to play a cd with my acoustic version of "What a Wonderful World" on that McIntosh system with the 23 speaker line array, jaw agape, when the guy running it asked "What kind of guitar is that?" We conversed about string things, etc, and I can still hear the HUGENESS of that setup. Remarkable. In my mind, I was back in my spare bedroom, recording that track, with headphones on, hoping not to mess it up too badly.

Everyone within a reasonable distance should patronize AKFest's. They are wonderful, and I hope to get to go back some day.

Anyone care to hear that track, go to 20:27 and listen..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfkUi-NsVLA

wish I could have met more of the fine people that are on here.

 

[bobsvinyl]

oldgringo left the show. Forever? I don't know. As he told me he left because of... you might guess who/what I mean... A brilliant brain, extremely smart, thousand times smarter than me. Very special humor, often ironic, I liked that. Pity!

Other guys I will appreciate will enter the stage. So recently Bob (bobsvinyl) - he is such an enrichment for this forum.

That is how the City of AudioKarma works: people move, like in a nonvirtual city as well.

Thank you for the nice remark, HK. I've enjoyed trading quips with you, OG, Hyperion, Tybrad and others. I find it is easier to be a noobie in the off topic areas. You also meet many of the members in a more relaxed atmosphere. I try to just read and learn in the technical forums. As I've said before, I do not have a background in electronics, but I'm trying to pick up info as I go along. I have only been on AK since last November, and I can't believe the amount I've learned in that short period thanks to the members here. I've also bought some excellent vinyl and CDs through Barter Town. I'm afraid for the moment you are stuck with me. :yes:

 

[Sandy G]

Sometimes people leave for more sinister, or unhappy reasons. On the R-390A forum, we had one member, Nolan Lee, who was very popular, extremely knowledgeable, & was 2nd to none w/his way with words. He understood how an R-390A TICKED, & could describe it in a way that could make even the dullest imbecile in the group-Namely, ME-not only comprehend, but would usually have you laughing. He lived in either Florida or Texas, & prided himself on his "Redneckness". He was ETERNALLY patient & kind w/noobs, & was forever giving parts out w/little thought of repayment. Then, one day, he "Turned off". Nothing, nada.. Several months went by, & finally the story came out. He had a MASSIVE stroke, which left him in a permanent state of befuddlement. I don't think he ever posted again, he finally died a year or so later, never found out what happened to his MARVELLOUS collection of gear, I don't think he had any family. A very sad end.

 

[harman/kardon]

Your last sentence Bob: It seems to be so that I am stuck on you...


:beer:

 

[brian222]

I sign on almost every day and look for threads like this one and read every page. I find the thoughtful stuff more engaging than the technical.