"When your lawn ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY needs to be cut in a hurry"

How 'bout something with class like a 110cu-in Harley V-Twin?

because I want it to start reliably :)

What would be right cool is a diesel engine. Not one of those black sooty dying-giraffe sounding things in the bro dozer trucks, but a nice old Screaming Jimmy. A 8V71 should get it done.
 
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