My "clunker" is a 1975 Jaguar XJ12L sedan, the first of my six and the only one of the four I still have that I don't drive. I bought it with 28,500 on it from a man who was quite ready to part with it, saying, "That's all it's got on the clock 'cause I can't keep it running long enough to do better". I thought, "I'm a good mechanic, I'll sort it out".
And after a year of mechanicing, I finally had it purring. I remember the moment I thought I finally had it licked. I was driving back to work after lunch and thought at 12:55 p.m., "Ah, it sounds SO good".
Then at 12:56 p.m., I heard a "POOF" sort of sound under the hood. Black smoke began pouring from under the hood. Stopped and popped the hood. Big flames everywhere.
It hadn't rained in months but a hurricane was due that afternoon, so I grabbed my favorite London Fog raincoat from the car and began trying to suffocate the flames to minimize the damage. The coat caught on fire. So I slammed the hood shut, coat and all. Then I remembered both of my prescription glasses were in the pocket of the coat. Too late.
This was pre-cell days, so I ran to the nearest house where a man was watering his flowers. Yelled for him to call the fire department. He offered me his hose. So I ran with it, but it stopped me abruptly about 20 feet short. So he got another hose. Before I could get that hooked up, the fire department was there.
Took them a good 20 minutes to get the inferno out.
So I called a tow truck. Which got there about 20 minutes later, but not before the hurricane hit and torrential rain caused major flooding almost instantly, letting about 2 feet of water into the car. So by the time the car was deposited off the flatbed into my driveway, it was full of black sooty water.
It just happened that I was wearing "my lucky shirt", since it *was* Friday the 13th.
I drove the old Cadillac back to work but they sent me home as I was spewing soot.
When my live-in got home, she found me laughing endlessly. Somehow it was funny that the many thousands of dollars of parts I'd put into the car were all toast and that the hurricane had stripped the new paint off the house we both hated and were trying to sell. Paint I'd labored for days upon days to have perfect.
I'd never owned a car worthy of full coverage, so it was all out-of-pocket to rebuild the thing. But I did. And I drove it another year, but bought the same model just one year newer and it was the most reliable car I ever owned.
Anyway, I *still* have that first beastly thing. But I got rid of "my lucky shirt".
Last time I purposely chose to drive it instead of one of the several others was one New Years Eve a few back. I got in it and got a few blocks from home, only to have it stall and not restart. Had it towed home and took another.
My father borrowed that clunker on his 65th birthday and got a ticket for doing 150 in a 45. He was so proud he framed the thing.
So it *could* run like a bat out of hell. Sometimes. But it still only has about 32,500 on it.
Moral of the story: NEVER buy the first year of a car with all new systems. Electronic ignition and fuel injection debuted in Jaguar that year. Wait a year. It'll get better.
Edit to add: THAT is *why* The Flaming Jaguar emblem as the avatar.
