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I gotta get me a two-speed turntable with that doodad - very sensual

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Laugh worked for me too. Here's the text from the ad:

LAB Turntable - $5 (Orion Township)

This is a Realistic LAB-340 belt-drive automatic turntable. It is black, except for the cover, which is dark smoky plastic, very sensual. This modern turntable has two speeds, which is very rare and desirable. There is even the little hard-to-find doodad for the little records with the big hole so you can play either big or little records on it. It has never been dropped from a great height as far as I know, or kicked down the stairs, and I cleaned up the spot where the cat was sick on it. I am a non-smoker, but the cat gets sick a lot, all over ever thing, in case you're allergic or something.

I will even throw in the record that is on it, which is "Camelot," a very famous movie I am told, because I can't find the sleeve for the record anyway. It does not play cd, I tried.
 
You know, if he really did try to play a CD on it, I wonder if the reason the cat gets sick on it so much as it sits on it as it spins and gets motion sick.

Then again, our cats get sick at the drop of a hat.
 
If there was a way to fit a laser pickup to the end of a tonearm, then it could play CD's afterall! (With an outboard DAC, of course.)
 
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