Story Telling One Sentence at a Time

[bobsvinyl]

The next morning, Tim woke up with a terrible hangover and realized that all of his furniture was gone and all he had left was a pair of Justin Bieber boxers.

 

[captouch]

So he put on the boxers and went to the closest street corner, put out a hat with a few bucks already inside it, and started to sing Bieber songs at the top of his lungs.

 

[noogies]

Soon a crowd gathered, intent on doing Tim physical harm.

 

[restorer-john]

Tim scooped up his hat and escaped through a gap in the lynch mob, quickly sought refuge in a 7-11 store and barricaded the door.

 

[bobsvinyl]

He decided to trade in his boxers for a Jerry Garcia tie which he thought would be much more user friendly.

 

[old_tv_nut]

His barricade was not very effective, as a customer barged in, assuming Tim was the clerk.

 

[restorer-john]

Sees Tim, standing there, naked, except for a Jerry Garcia tie, holding a hat and promptly calls the police.

 

[rkgren1]

The police, having seen much worse at the 7-11, simply encourage Tim to leave, bare-assed but still fashionable because of that tie.

 

[restorer-john]

Tim thanks the police for not arresting him and uses his last few dollars in the 7-11 to buy a National Lottery ticket before running off down the street- lynch mob in hot pursuit.

 

[captouch]

Tim has a sudden epiphany and turns around running backwards - the rhythmic bouncing of his privates lulls the lynch mob into a semi-hypnotic state and they slow down step-by-step, eventually falling to the ground in a deep calm slumber.

 

[noogies]

Tim takes note of the hypnotic effect his bouncing genitalia have on the unruly mob and mentally files the information away for possible use in future emergency situations.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Tim's friend, Bob Sled saw him and rushed outside with clothes that fit Tim to save him further embarrassment.

 

[noogies]

What Bob didn't realize was that due to a severe head injury in his youth, Tim was completely incapable of being embarrassed.

 

[restorer-john]

Despite the severe brain injury, Tim astounded his doctors and went on to become brilliant with mathematics, became a successful accountant and subsequently, a world champion Blackjack player, who calculated his odds of winning the National Lottery were extremely high based on the run of bad luck he has had in this thread.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Tim did put the clothes on and went to his office to attempt to have a normal life until his court case.

 

[noogies]

Unfortunately, this strategy met with no success.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

That's because there was road construction right in front of the office and his high school classmate, Jack Hammer was breaking up the old asphalt making too much noise.

 

[restorer-john]

Tim desperately needed some Bose noise cancelling headphones to drown out that clown Jack Hammer, so he advertised his two spare rooms on Airbnb and was surprised to get four stunning Norwegian blonde lingerie models wanting to use his facilities...

 

[noogies]

"But wait!" Tim exclaimed triumphantly as he tried to avoid eyeing the models too closely, "haven't we all forgotten something very important? What about that lottery ticket I bought at the 7-11 way back in Post #29?"

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

As Tim walked to 7-11, he saw Sue Nommi waving to, or perhaps at him vigorously from across the street with an ominous grin on her face and his stomach began to turn as he sensed an impending disaster.