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25 Country Classics!

gearhead

gearhead

AK Subscriber
Subscriber
Top 25 Country Classics:
25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Were Pure.
23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
21. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We’re Even
20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.
19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
18. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
17. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
14. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You.
13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.
12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).
10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You.
9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.
8. Please Bypass This Heart.
7. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.
6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.
5. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
4. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
3. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles.
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer.
And the Number 1 Country and Western song of all Time is...
1. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few
 
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Now if we could get some words to the songs and some real country singers (not new country) might revive classic country.JMHO
Mushy
 
Two of those are actual songs performed by John Denver as novelty numbers. "(You Dun) Stomped on my Heart" was on his first album in 1969, but he didn't write it. The chorus is:

You done stomped on my heart
And you mashed that sucker flat
You just sorta, stomped on my aorta
You started going out with guys
I felt us drift apart
And every step you took was a stomp upon my heart
Click to expand...

He actually wrote lyrics to "Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye" but he died before he could record it. It did appear on a posthumous live concert release.
 
#3 (She's acting single...) seems to be the only one out of these I have heard on our classic country radio station, and they play a pretty wide selection. Have heard "Drop Kick me Jesus, through the goalposts of life" regularly played (not mentioned on this list though)
 
Think I've mentioned this one, but it bears repeating-I ACTUALLY heard this ditty whilst I was in college in Richmond, Virginia, in the late 1970s- it sounded like the Statler Bros sung it-an otherwise respectable country-pop group- "Have you heard the Words of the Lord ? /Jesus might be comin' in a '49 Ford.."
 
Then theres one of my college buddies, aka Cleetus Hartwood. Look here for such timeless classics as "Dammit Woman, Don't Press Charges (Or You'll Be Sorry One Fine Day)" ,"18 Wheels a'Rollin' (3 Sheets To The Wind)" and "Ain’t No Restrainin’ Order Stronger'n Our Love"

http://hartwood.net/theband.html
 
Don't forget
"If They Don't Have Mogen David In Heaven"

"Will they have Mogen David in heaven
Dear Lord, we'd all like to know
Will they have Mogen David in heaven, Sweet Jesus
If they don't, who the hell wants to go" :D
 
JOY
Harry Nilsson


Spoken:

The other day, I met a girl named Joy
She said, “Come here, I’m going to make you my Joy Boy”
Well, things went good, things went bad
Now every time I think of Joy it makes me sad

It makes me . . . sad

The other day, I met a girl named Joy
She said, “Roy, I’m going to make you my Joy Boy”
Well, she took me for a ride, sort of a joy ride
Now every time I think of Joy, I get all weird inside

Sung:

Joy to the world was a beautiful girl
But to me Joy meant only sorrow

Spoken:

Now, if you haven’t got an answer, you’d never have a question
And if you never had a question, then you’d never have a problem
But if you never had a problem, well everyone would be happy
But if everyone was happy, there’d never be a love song

Joy to the world was a beautiful girl
But to me Joy meant only sorrow

The other day, I met a girl named Joy
She said, “Come here, I’m going to make you all clammy inside”
Well, things went good, things went bad
Things went good and things went bad
Good, bad, good, bad, good, bad

Sung:

Joy to the world was a beautiful girl
But to me Joy meant only sorrow
Joy to the world was a beautiful girl
But to me Joy meant only sorrow
 
"Get your tongue..." was recorded by Ray Stevens. I have it on his album "He thinks He's Ray Stevens" Of course, lots of goofy stuff in his recordings.

"She's actin' single..." is, in my opinion, one of the greatest country songs ever. Maybe Gary Stewart's biggest hit? Is anybody impressed that I know who sang it? (I had to go look) It certainly ranks up there with "Barstool Mountain" as great "hard country".
 
bgadow said:
"Get your tongue..." was recorded by Ray Stevens. I have it on his album "He thinks He's Ray Stevens" Of course, lots of goofy stuff in his recordings.
Click to expand...

That's weird. Wikipedia shows the Ray Stevens album coming out in 1984, and there is a song on there called "I'm Kissing You Goodbye." But the song I was talking about is credited to John Denver. Maybe there are two different songs, or maybe the liner notes on the Denver album are wrong. I need to hear the Ray Stevens version to see if they're the same.
 
Here is the first half of Ray's version, as copied by me:

Well, the first time we met dear you flashed that come-on smile,
Your steely-eyed glances nearly drove me wild.
So we drove out to the country & parked beneath the stars;
You fogged up my windshield & set my soul afire.
Well, you moved into my place that very same night;
I was so happy it was love at first sight.
One day I came home early that very next week,
Found a man in my closet, said he was playin' hide & seek.
Now, I may be stupid but I'll never understand
Why he was playin' hide & seek with all his clothes in his hand.

Get your feet off my table, get your shoes from under my bed,
Get your hat off my hatrack & put it on your head.
Get your coat out of my closet & put it on your back,
Get your Ferlin Husky records, Darlin',
It's time for you to pack.
Get your arms from around me
It ain't no time to try,
Get your tongue out of my mouth
'Cause I'm kissin' you goodbye

Get your tongue out of my mouth & wipe off that silly grin
Get your tongue out of my mouth, ain't no tellin' where its been!
Get your tongue out of my mouth, don't try that again
Get your tongue out of my mouth
Get your tongue out of my mouth
Let's just say adios with a kiss & a sigh
Get your tongue out of my mouth 'cause I'm kissin' you goodbye.
 
How about

There is gas in my ass from drinking from the glass while standing on my head crying my eyes out over you.
 
Thanks for posting the lyrics. That's not the same song as the John Denver one. Since the Ray Stevens one came first, I guess Denver must have either (a) stolen the title or (b) somehow been subconsciously inspired by it.

bgadow said:
Here is the first half of Ray's version, as copied by me:

Well, the first time we met dear you flashed that come-on smile,
Your steely-eyed glances nearly drove me wild.
So we drove out to the country & parked beneath the stars;
You fogged up my windshield & set my soul afire.
Well, you moved into my place that very same night;
I was so happy it was love at first sight.
One day I came home early that very next week,
Found a man in my closet, said he was playin' hide & seek.
Now, I may be stupid but I'll never understand
Why he was playin' hide & seek with all his clothes in his hand.

Get your feet off my table, get your shoes from under my bed,
Get your hat off my hatrack & put it on your head.
Get your coat out of my closet & put it on your back,
Get your Ferlin Husky records, Darlin',
It's time for you to pack.
Get your arms from around me
It ain't no time to try,
Get your tongue out of my mouth
'Cause I'm kissin' you goodbye

Get your tongue out of my mouth & wipe off that silly grin
Get your tongue out of my mouth, ain't no tellin' where its been!
Get your tongue out of my mouth, don't try that again
Get your tongue out of my mouth
Get your tongue out of my mouth
Let's just say adios with a kiss & a sigh
Get your tongue out of my mouth 'cause I'm kissin' you goodbye.
Click to expand...
 
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