Be As Unhelpful As Possible

[tybrad]

I need help _____ _________ _________ ______ ________ ...
Give me an unhelpful answer, then post something you need help with for the following poster.


I need help with getting my dinner this eve.

 

[highvoltage_]

I need help trying to understand this thread.

 

[tybrad]

Give me an unhelpful answer, then post something you need help with for the following poster.

 

[kirk57]

There are wild Wallabies wandering around the northern part of the Isle of Man.

I need help identifying the weird clunking sound from the back of my car.

 

[tybrad]

Let's get a Jaws-Of-Life unit to have a look.

I want to fix my car after a deer strike a week ago.

 

[2526]

Leave the keys in it, someone will steal it. Is it better to buy a sack of potatoes when you only need a few?

 

[highvoltage_]

We'll go to the store and get you a deer strike repair kit.

I need to wash the windows in my house.

 

[ETLS]

Start a fire indoors, and call the fire department.


I need help with fixin to.

 

[dcmfan]

Synergy!

I need help calibrating my tv picture.

 

[Cadillac Kid]

Kill your TV.

Can someone explain capacitive inductance to me in simple terms?

 

[ETLS]

Call the pizza delivery service and order the McNuggets.


Is my television spying on me?

 

[dcmfan]

Merry Maids does house cleaning. Just sayin...

Is it live or is it Memorex?

 

[Yamaki]

It was recorded by rats and there are no master copies.

I need help moving my house.

 

[Hyperion]

Ok, we'll demolish it first and then consider moving it brick by brick.

I need to know why I can't get a WiFi signal in the lavatory.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Maybe your device is sick of all your crap....literally!


I need help finding a large unsettled piece of property.

 

[Shominy]

Get an inspector to see if your property is on a fault line.

I need help understanding the cable guys.

 

[ETLS]

They love jumping off batteries in parking lots


What if your preamp flunked preschool?

 

[highvoltage_]

Send it to 1st grade anyway, it might graduate to become an amp.

Where's my water?

 

[Shominy]

Here. Try using this sewage pipe.

I need help fixing the significant deer strike damage to the front of my car.

 

[dcmfan]

How can I get my wife to let me meet exciting singles in my area?