Probably true.. But, I think there are all types. Even here. Some probably don't bother too much with this stuff, and are good with the old, 'get it in the ballpark set-it-and-forget-it' routine. In some ways that's enviable. They don't fuss. They just sit down, enjoy the music, and tolerate whatever flaws they encounter along the way. Others, (like myself,) probably obsess way too much about little imperfections.
Probably, the best place to be is right in the middle. Learn the basics, identify obvious problems, and find solutions for them. Trying to get the most bang for your buck from your gear is not a bad thing. Searching for problems to justify solutions (or to sate a case of upgrade-itis,) can be frustrating and costly. Mostly, the hobby should be about enjoying the music.
That being said... If you really want to delve into perfecting your setup, one of the most important tools is a good test record. Hi-Fi News is widely used, and there are a few others floating around by Shure and the like. (Buying new is probably best. If a test record has been worn by many plays with mistracking cartridges, it won't be of much use.) These records can help determine if the setup parameters you mentioned are correct. Many of them also have a tonearm resonance test. This can help determine whether or not your arm and cartridge are well matched, and if damping might be warranted for your setup. I'd recommend getting one and learning how to utilize each test track.