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Dear God from the Dog...

subwoofwoof

Super Member
For the DOG lover in you…

Dear God… Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
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Dear God…. Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
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Dear God…. When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
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Dear God… Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
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Dear God… If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
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Dear God…. We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
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Dear God…. More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
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Dear God…. Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
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Dear God…. Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.
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1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God…. When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
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...I hope Junior, the Dobermann, will be waiting for me, his little stub tail goin' 100 mph, & him softly crying, "Eep, Eep, Eep..." like he did...Ears all up & at attention...He's been gone 16 years & I still miss him...And Jack, & Sassy...Christy, Pudgie, Ikey, Kate, Princess, too...
 
Fotno, paging Fotno!

Good one Subwoofwoof! I needed a sense of normalcy and a little bit of humor today! Thanks! :thmbsp:
 
And this is why I have always said DOG is just GOD spelled backwards!! I hope to see all my buddies at the Bridge and give them all a BIG belly rub. Great one Toni!! Made my day!
 
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God…. When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

That's some great stuff, thanks so much for the laughs this thread has brought!

I've highlighted a few in the final portion, with which I am all too familiar!
 
I remember when I was a lad, my Dad was letting our Irish Setter in from a potty break. It had been raining out and she was soaked. My Dad wanted her to shake off the rain in the mud room before she could come into the rest of the house. Dad kept telling her "shake! shake!" So she promptly sat down and raised her paw. We all had a good laugh over that one!
 
I remember when I was a lad, my Dad was letting our Irish Setter in from a potty break. It had been raining out and she was soaked. My Dad wanted her to shake off the rain in the mud room before she could come into the rest of the house. Dad kept telling her "shake! shake!" So she promptly sat down and raised her paw. We all had a good laugh over that one!

:lmao::lmao::lmao:
 
Great post, Subwoofwoof!! Brought back some great memories of dear friends which are no longer here, and some :tears: also.
 
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