I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like a dishonesty absorber.
One thing I've learned though is to immediately file an "item not as described" complaint, when something doesn't work or arrives damaged. The seller is responsible for shipping, period. The buyer should never have to deal with the shipping company, besides perhaps providing photos to support the seller's claim. If a seller asks or demands that you file a shipping claim, refuse, with the explanation that the shipping company will just regard you as a middleman, and that it is his responsibility to make things right.