Funniest rip off ever

[thymanst]

Amazon has the customer reviews and Tags posted for this Denon $500 cat 5 cable here http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000I1X6PM/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

 

[240sx4u]

Just a bunch of idiots who probably have not even purchased it. I really don't see what the big deal is here. You can spend much more than that on a coax or optical interconnect for digital signal too.

Evan

 

[StarMover]

I'm sure they sell a ton of those...

 

[persons0]

"If I could use a rusty boxcutter to carve a new orifice in my body that's compatible with this link cable, I would already be doing it. I can just imagine the pure musical goodness that would flow through this cable into the wound and fill me completely -- like white, holy light. Holding this cable in my hands actually makes me feel that much closer to the Lord Jesus Christ. I only make $6.25/hr at Jack In The Box, but I saved up for three months so I could have this cable. It sits in a shrine I constructed next to my futon in Mother's basement.

I only gave it four stars in my review because I can't find music that is worthy enough to flow through this utterly perfect interconnect."

:lmao:

 

[Johncan]

I am reading them now and I just spit cherry coke zero twice at my PC monitor while laughing. Some very funny comments there.

 

[pbda]

The first review has a funny line too:

A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the "directional markings" on the cables, your music will play backwards.

Damn, now I know what I've been doing wrong!

 

[Johncan]

Potential warning to other users:

I made the mistake of taunting the AKDL1.

I am a battered shell of a man.

Though, I must admit, I do appreciate the crisp highs and thundering lows.

I have now cleaned my monitor three times

:lmao:

 

[Brian]

Since I've yet to build the new sondroom in the basement, I think I'll add to the pecs besides a soundproof room, a Faraday Cage. I have already spec'd the complete sealing of the room for soundproofing, no vents, totally airtight and an oxygen release system so I do not suffocate. My Plasmatronics speakers sysem should be a blast to listen to in the room when completed.

 

[MisterFishey]

I've read less funny stuff about Machina Dynamica. Made my morning.

"What I found most impressive is that this cable actually turned my binary digital audio devices into TRINARY digital audio devices. All the people saying that it's just 1's and 0's don't understand how revolutionary this cable is. IT UPSCALES YOUR DIGITAL SPECTRUM TO ALLOW FOR 2's!!! Any true audiophile knows that 2's are where the upper-order harmonicas are to be found in high quality digital audio."

"I used 6 of them to connect up my time machine to my Starship."

"For $500 I would have expected these cables to be worn in. They aren't. The procedure for pre use wear in of digital cables is significantly different to analog cables. They should be worn in for a period of 24 hours in each direction. Use a unidirectional protocol! _Never_ use TCP for wearing in digital cables, as TCP uses return packets for acknowledging, causing interference in the uplink channel being pre worn. Use UDP or ICMP (no ping) for wearing. Preferable use a payload of 64Kb with a datapacket consisting of consecutive 1's and 0's to settle the electrons. After 24 hours, reverse the cable and repeat. Always make sure that the cable is connected to a sender and a receiver, as Layer 2 will prevent data transmission if there is no positive ARP response from the receiver. "

"Unfortunately, Denon does not provide the necessary warning regarding the directionality of the cable. As I write this email, a small black hole is tearing through the space time fabric of my living room, consuming everything in its path (including my former pet Chihuahua, Wolfgang). A simple warning to prevent me from having reverse cabled my new joy for experimental reasons would have also spared me the horror of bidding adieu to 20 years woth of collecting (yes my cabbage patch dolls and hummel figurines are now faint memories of the past, for this dimension anyway). I bid you all adieu as I now see my walls dissolving... goodbye cruel worl"

Obviously, I doubt anyone has actually purchased that product. Still, a good laugh. Thanks!

 

[thymanst]

Some of the customer tags are funny too - "auto-erotic asphixiation" and "corporate taxation of the uneducated " if you do a google search for "auto-erotic asphixiation" The Denon cable is the 4th result

 

[vinyldavid]

I wonder what Denon is thinking right now. :scratch2:

 

[gladiator335]

OMG!!!
Is this all for real?

 

[toxcrusadr]

What is real, exactly, on the internets?

 

[ScramMan2]

Thread from AudioGon with similar comments:

http://forum.audiogon.com/cgi-bin/fr.pl?icomp&1172983792&read&keyw&zzusb+cable

 

[pbda]

Since I've yet to build the new sondroom in the basement, I think I'll add to the pecs besides a soundproof room, a Faraday Cage.

An added benefit to the Faraday Cage is that you can hide in it during electrical storms...while using your new digital cable.

 

[nosirrah]

comments

An added benefit to the Faraday Cage is that you can hide in it during electrical storms...while using your new digital cable.

Wolfgang the chiuwawa? Crap, how do you spell that?
I nominate this for the "best of craigslist"
Casey

 

[wajobu]

DING!!--the winner!

"If I could use a rusty boxcutter to carve a new orifice in my body that's compatible with this link cable, I would already be doing it. I can just imagine the pure musical goodness that would flow through this cable into the wound and fill me completely -- like white, holy light. Holding this cable in my hands actually makes me feel that much closer to the Lord Jesus Christ. I only make $6.25/hr at Jack In The Box, but I saved up for three months so I could have this cable. It sits in a shrine I constructed next to my futon in Mother's basement.

I only gave it four stars in my review because I can't find music that is worthy enough to flow through this utterly perfect interconnect."

:lmao:

 

[theophile]

An added benefit to the Faraday Cage is that you can hide in it during electrical storms...while using your new digital cable.

Why did they have to put Faraday in a cage,in the first place?

Oh,OK.He didn't have good interconnects. :scratch2: :nono:

 

[asoundhound]

the faraday cage is to prepare you for the rubber room.

 

[thymanst]

faraday cage

Rudementary Faraday Cage sans Denon cable......