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Great Quotes - Got Any?

Yamaha B-2

Yamaha B-2

registered user
Banned
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill


"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas


"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb


"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel John son


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating


"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
- Jack E. Leonard


"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford


"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde


"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts ... for support
rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
 
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"Ecpyrosis" will not be found in most dictionaries, but it is a philosophical term of the stoics, from the greek "ekpyrosis", and it means: "conflagration; the periodic resolution of all things into fire".

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits.

“Now I shall douse myself in oil and go tell the goddess of fire to **** off…”
-Michael Poe

The Gord likes to remind people that second place is just the first loser.
http://www.actsofgord.com

No matter what other nations may say about the United States, immigration is still the sincerest form of flattery.

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
- Oscar Wilde

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.
-- Henry David Thoreau, "Where I Live"

"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."

"If Bill Gates had a penny for every time that Windows crashes he would have a ...oh wait, he does."

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid.

"What's the point in being cool if you can't wear sombreros?"
-Hobbes

On beauty: "They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's a matter of taste. They say beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes way down to the bone. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. And Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships. There are exotic beauties. Hidden gems. Diamonds in the rough. The crown jewel. There are beauty queens. Ugly ducklings. Acquired tastes. Late-bloomers. Classic beauties. There are looks that kill. Looks to die for. Looks that turn heads and looks that stop traffic. But looks aren't everything. You can't judge a book by its cover. Cuz the prettier the face the dumber the head. But could be, they're more than just a pretty face. For beauty comes in all shapes and forms. And it's what's on the inside that really matters. For a thing of beauty is a joy forever. But remember: The star that burns brightest burns briefest. And every rose has its thorn."
-T. Ishida

"Sometimes I get really ****ing pissed off and I like to use really ****ing foul ****ing language to get my ****ing point across."
-Denny Wilson http://www.grouchyoldcripple.com/

"... believe it or not, since you were polite to me, I will be polite to you and respect your opinions. I do plan to point out, politely I hope, where you are wrong."
-Denny Wilson http://www.grouchyoldcripple.com/

Conformity is the refuge of the unimaginative.
 
"I thought I saw a unicorn on the way over, but it was just a horse with one of the horns broken off."

"Because human life is so precious, war should never be undertaken unless our rights are threatened. It is often said that our soldiers must sacrifice themselves for our country. This is precisely what we must not ask them to do. A sacrifice entails the surrender of a greater value for a lesser one. But if a man loses his life on the premise, "I would rather die than live in slavery," it is a tragic loss—but it is not a sacrifice. Such a man is acting in his own interests, to protect his most precious values."
-Ayn Rand

"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?"
- Steven Wright

Fotno's Motto: ""When in danger, or in doubt; run in circles, scream and shout.""

Ozmoid's Motto: "Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."

"Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the only
one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor."
-- Wernher von Braun

Remember, God could only create the world in 6 days because he didn't have an established user base.

Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
- The Wizard of Oz

"You haven't lived until you can bitch about the obvious shortcomings of edible underwear from personal experience."
-Uncle Bingo

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
 
"Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough."
—Gene Scott

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
[Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.]

One for Walker:
"The meek don't want it."

"Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God—I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again."
- Woody Allen's character in "Hannah and Her Sisters"

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
- Groucho Marx

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace--
I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
But now I think a thought that brings me hope:
Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope.
- Justin Richardson.

"We all declare for liberty, but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing."
-A. Lincoln

You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a "realist," he is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing.
-- Sydney Harris

Once, when the secrets of science were the jealously guarded property of a small priesthood, the common man had no hope of mastering their arcane complexities. Years of study in musty classrooms were prerequisite to obtaining even a dim, incoherent knowledge of science. Today all that has changed: a dim, incoherent knowledge of science is available to anyone.
-- Tom Weller, "Science Made Stupid"

All the tradition, bowing, belts and ki in the world won't keep your ass from getting whooped.

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
 
A really rich guy gave his son a baseball team as a distraction for him. The son managed to lose an incredible amount of money the first year as the owner. When his father learned of it........

"At that rate, he won't last 200 years!"
 
My wife's favorite, coming from being a "suit" in a huge corp.

"It is what it is".

I'm still trying to figure out if that's defeatist, Machiavellian, or Nietzsch-ism-ish? or if she just gets sick of baby-sitting 20-something's, or what.
 
There's a big difference between kneeling down & bending over!

Frank Zappa on organized religion.
 
"This next song is dedicated to the PR*CK in the back counting the overtime money."

Zappa, 1971, Carnegie Hall/NY, after learning HE would have to pay $600 to use the hall past midnight. The next song was The Mudshark. It was the encore to the most incredible Mothers show I ever saw, and I saw a lot of them. Quotes? He had a million of them.
 
aloha!!!

aloha---"when I think of all the good time that's been wasted having good times" ---the animals
 
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstien

"I think an artist is someone who does something well." - Andy Warhol

"I hate health food." - Julia Child

"Whatever you are, be a good one." - Abraham Lincoln

"That's hot!" - Paris Hilton

"Mediocrity sucks." - onepixel
 
LBPete said:
Drink water? Never, fish **** in it! WC Fields

- Pete
Click to expand...
"Water? Never touch the stuff. I hear fish make love in it..." (W.C. wasn't allowed to say the F-word on screen.)

= = = = = =

"The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be."
- Paul Vallery


"Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing."
- John Erskine


“God created man and, finding him not sufficiently alone, gave him a companion to make him feel his solitude more keenly.”
- Paul Vallery


"Be not angry that you can not make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be."
- Thomas A Kempis


"He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass."
- George Herbert


"The world has no room for cowards. We must all be ready somehow to toil, to suffer, to die. And yours is not the less noble because no drum beats before you when you go out to your daily battlefields, and no crowds shout your coming when you return home from your daily victory and defeat."
- Robert Louis Stevenson


"Happy the child that has for friend an old, sympathetic, encouraging mind, one eager to develop, slow to rebuke or discourage."
- Arthur Brisbane


"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed."
- Booker T. Washington


TO MY CHILD
You are the trip I did not take;
You are the pearls I cannot buy;
You are my blue Italian lake;
You are my piece of foreign sky.
- Anne Campbell


"The tragedy of the world is that men have given first class loyalty to second class causes and these causes have betrayed them."
- Lynn Harold Hough


"The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it's the same problem you had last year."
- John Foster Dulles


"Shoes divide men into three classes. Some men wear their father's shoes. They make no decisions of their own. Some are unthinkingly shod by the crowd. The strong man is his own cobbler. He insists on making his own choices. He walks in his own shoes."
- S.D. Gordon


"The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out."
- Thomas Macaulay


"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
- Harry Emerson Fosdick


"Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form."
- Andre Maurois


"All that is essential for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
- Edmund Burke


"Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure."
- Thomas A. Edison


"Democracy is a small hard core of common agreement, surrounded by a rich variety of individual differences."
- James Conant


"To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes


"There is no spectacle on earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman in the act of cooking dinner for someone she loves."
- Thomas Wolfe


"Even the woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head and keeps pecking away until he finishes the job he starts."
- Coleman Cox


"We like someone because, we love someone although."
- Henri De Montherlant


"Every man has a train of thought on which he rides when he is alone. The dignity and nobility of his life, as well as his happiness, depend on the direction in which that train is going, the baggage it carries, and the scenery through which it travels."
- Joseph Fort Newton


"Let parents bequeath to their children not riches, but the spirit of reverence."
- Plato


"You will find, as you look back on your life, that the times that stand out are the moments when you have done things for others."
- Oliver Goldsmith


"If spring came but once in a century instead of once a year, or burst forth with the sound of an earthquake and not in silence, what wonder and expectation there would be in all hearts to behold the miraculous change."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


"We should all be concerned about the future because we will have to spend the rest of our lives there."
- Charles F. Kittering


"All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit quiet in a room alone."
- Blaise Pascal


"American life is a powerful solvent. It seems to neutralize every intellectual element, however tough and alien it may be, and to fuse it in the native good-will, complacency, thoughlessness, and optimism."
- George Santayana


"A hundred times a day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depends on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving."
- Albert Einstein


"One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys in life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others."
- Archibald Rutledge


After Benjamin Franklin received a letter thanking him for having done a kindness, he replied:
"As to the kindness you mention, I wish I could have been of more service to you than I have been, but if I had, the only thanks that I should desire are that you would always be ready to serve any other person that may need your assistance, and let good offices go around, for mankind are all of a family. As for my part, when I an employed in serving others I do not look upon myself as conferring favors, but paying debts."
 
Three from the Master.

"It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics."

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

"The most preposterous notion that H. sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history."

--Robert A. Heinlein
 
"As Worrying is interest paid on trouble, long before it's due..." (Steve Hackett from "Serpentine Song", and a beauty it is.)
 
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