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Looking for second opinion

Trekkie4

Trekkie4

Retired Member
Or third, or forth... You get the idea.

Back in the early 2019, a very good & close friend of mine was diagnosed with invasive ductal breast carcinoma, stage II B. It was later classified as triple-negative, and after having intensive chemo therapy she had a surgery where it was surgically removed. Things were looking promising, and both of us agreed that things ought to get better in 2020.

Unfortunately, like pretty much everything else things turned out for the worse. About a week ago she had another regular scan (as part of the regular checkup, cancer prevention program) where they found spots on her other breast. Along with couple of other spots on one of her ribs, right hip and back. She went for additional tests, to make sure that it really is what it appears to be, which (and I'm sorry to say) really turned out to be the case. Her oncologist told her to keep up the optimism & that her condition is still treatable but while saying so refused to look her in the eyes.

For the moment, she is still taking it all in (I would dare to say probably still in shock) and does not appear to be as disturbed with the news like me. I don't know what to expect, and I would want to believe that she will make it through, but at the same time I'm trying to be realistic. Is it really treatable, or is it just a matter of buying more time & delaying the inevitable?

I don't suppose someone in here maybe has a story to share, or maybe even knows more about this & could help me either comfort me with actual facts or prepare me for what is to come?
 
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I don't know how to put this into words but I wish you and your friend the best. I can understand your worry and concern. I don't think that even doctors know what will happen unless it's so bad that it's not treatable. I would have to think that he was telling her the truth and there is reason for hope.

I had a sister-in-law that was diagnosed with a small cell cancer and the doctor told her she would live about two weeks and that was almost spot on. I have a cousin that was told that she had just a few weeks and that has been about 2 1/2 years ago and she's still going. My brother's doctor told him about 1 1/2 years ago that people in his condition usually lasted about 6 months to 1 year without treatment. He refused treatment but I think he's nearing the end of his journey.

I don't think there's an absolute answer and if the doctor says that it's treatable I would go with that. Hopefully she will react well to the treatment and have many good years ahead of her.
 
Its always a matter of buying more time, question is, will it be another 2 years? or another 40 years?
Here my story: Been the epitome of health all my life, quit smoking 22 years ago, im tall, strong as an ox, fantastic hearing and eyesight, I could lift anything, cat like reflexes and fight like a mule. Little over 2 years ago I was diagnosed with throat cancer. I was absolutely floored. You gotta be kidding! me? O well here we go..off to Princess Margret Cancer Center in Toronto. 32 radiation treatments on my throat and one chemo later I was cured of cancer. But the treatment was brutal. lost 65 lbs, almost starved to death. Im left with crippling sciatica and can barely walk. My face has aged 20 years in the last 2 years due to radiation and stress. But ya know what.. Im alive and I got a TON of things to look forward to. Im only 55 and plan on another 40 anyways... I got too much stuff to do man. Side note my wife was run over by a car a year ago and is crippled too. But we persevere , what are you gonna do? give up? F no! So heres the thing: you gotta get your mind right, point your mind in the right direction, the both of you, her for survival, and you for support. non stop encouragement will save her life. that, and magic chicken soup! **** Cancer, im way tougher than you. Warrior mentality!
 
Give it hell and remember that everybody responds different. My girfriend just went through re occurring breast cancer and we keep our fingers crossed and do what needs to be done. Best advise is make sure she stays off the forums!!!! EVERYPERSON IS DIFFERENT
 
Thanks guys.

I hope she makes it through. She's going back to chemo right away (starting today, actually) and after that docs will probably dictate the course of action as needed. What has me worried the most is the fact that it is spreading, started out as a single breast cancer, but now seems to have gone beyond that.
 
Well guys, in case anyone cares for an update..?

Things got somewhat stuck, making us both feel even more nervous (although still moving at slower rate). We are waiting for the clearance from the insurance company, apparently the issue of money & treatment cost(s) is more important to those guys high up in charge than saving someone's life. I could talk & ramble about wild capitalism & all the greed for the money, but I suppose this isn't the time OR place. Anyhow, she's scheduled for an MRI in the meantime, as docs need to take a closer look at her hip.

Everything else is on hold until further notice from the insurance company :(
 
Bigbeard said:
I'm very sad to hear this. Some people seem to get more than their fair share of suffering.

As long as the cancer is caught early, before it invades vital organs, it's usually treatable. I know people who've had treatment on and off for the last 20 years.

The reason your friend doesn't appear as worried this time is probably because she's been through all the emotions already. Worrying can be very fatiguing so perhaps it's a good thing to save some energy for the fight.
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Thank you for the kind words. The first one, back in 2019 was caught (I guess you could say) early. It was the 2nd stage, before it got to spread anywhere, and because of that we thought that we've seen the end of that. But now I honestly don't know, they are talking about her hip and rib, but HOPEFULLY nothing else, or nothing vital. Of course, there is also her other breast, so she's looking at another chemo & fight ahead of her.

Hopefully we shall know more info once she's done with MRI, but I can't believe that the insurance company is forcing her to wait for so long, maybe even up to a week. Basically debating between themselves whenever she is worth their time & money or not. Even though she does have a job (which under the circumstances from COVID 19 is already a huge accomplishment by itself) and pays tax. Things are different here in Europe, at least here in my country. Assuming she does have the insurance, they would have provided her with medical care ASAP.
 
3rd day & her case is STILL "under evaluation" for the insurance approval. We are losing precious time!!

I would like to know, in case anyone can help me out? Is there maybe a special group, or help fund for people in need of life-saving surgeries (& following healthcare costs), but can't afford to pay one, on their own? I would gladly keep this as "Plan B", in case things go south :( We are talking US healthcare, my friend lives on Florida.
 
70's Rockfan said:
The american cancer society can be helpful
https://www.cancer.org/?_ga=2.28234...1309397.1594940928.CLK8svjx0uoCFcGlZQod_qsCbg
she could start a GoFundMe page.
https://www.gofundme.com/
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I will keep the Cancer Society link for sure, thanks bunches!

Not sure about GoFund me page, I remember setting up Indiegogo for a friend with MS long time ago, and let's just say that things did not work out. Took about a month or two, and we didn't get anywhere - we raised approx. 5$ but that is entirely different story. Thing is, we don't have much time, that's the point. Her condition is obviously getting worse day after day, so we can't afford to wait for a month & hope for a miracle. But I still hope that the insurance will accept her case & that she will begin with chemo ASAP.
 
mkane said:
healthcare for profit :dunno:. Hang in there.
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Guess so... :( It never ceases to amaze me how some people will do (and sell) just about anything & anyone for the money these days.

Bigbeard said:
Do you know any doctor or lawyer who can do you a favour? Just placing a polite call to the right person can get things moving.
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No, I'm afraid I (we) don't. I will answer your question in greater detail through PM.
 
mkane said:
I'll have my wife take a look at your first post and see what she has to say. She's worked in the Hematology/Oncology field most of her working career, 30+ years
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Thank you so much! Yes, please do. If she needs additional info (including more personal details) we can do it through PMs. I don't want to drag her personal information out in the public, unless absolutely necessary.
 
Thanks a lot to all those who helped & answered!

The insurance situation is (hopefully) under control, fully approved and the next chemo session starts on Thursday, in less than a week. Fingers crossed!
 
Trekkie4 said:
Thanks a lot to all those who helped & answered!

The insurance situation is (hopefully) under control, fully approved and the next chemo session starts on Thursday, in less than a week. Fingers crossed!
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Excellent, wishing her a full recovery.
 
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