• The move to the new server is done. There are some software and database maintenance updates in process. This has us passing the hat around to help out. We appreciate any donations. Seriously, even a dollar helps. The payment page may be found here - https://www.audiokarma.org/support.html

Mom's going to a nursing home, I have a question on financials.

jcamero

jcamero

Who are you people anyway?
It is Mom's time to go to a nursing home. A recent fall, a cracked vertebra, and aspirational pneumonia, caused us to make the decision to relocate her to a stable, 24hr. care facility.
We know the facility in and out, Mom wanted to go there, in fact she worked there for 10 years as an LPN. How do the finances actually work. I've researched some of this, and she has to use her assets before Medicaid takes over. How is her own finances managed before insurance kicks in? It's going to take some time to liquidate her property and possessions, so what happens during this delay? If she passes prior to using her assets, will the family receive the unused assets back? I can't imagine them being kept. I guess I need to know what the family is in for. Should I hire an attorney? I appreciate hearing from those that had to make this decision for a parent.
 
Register to hide this ad
that's a bummer man. i have no idea how it all works but i promised my mom that i would not put her in a nursing home with the clause 'as long as i am physically able to care for her.' (i've got my own issues)

i hope that i can keep that promise.

best of luck to you.
 
I doubt the nursing home is going to manage your mother’s assets. Most likely is up to you and her family to liquidate her assets to pay the monthly nursing home fees.

My mother in law went to a nursing home and Medicaid paid for it, BUT she had no assets other than a small pension from her deceased husband and her social security check. The nursing home took both of those every month, which was fair. She lived with us for free for a few years before deteriorating enough that we couldn’t care for her like she needed.
 
Also, be aware that Medicaid does not pay for 'private nursing homes". Make sure the establishment is one where she will eligible for benefits. My wife and I went through that with her mother a few years ago and it a quagmire.
The advise to contact an attorney is essential. A lawyer may seem expensive but a few mistakes with medical finances can leave someone destitute.
 
nbarber said:
Also, be aware that Medicaid does not pay for 'private nursing homes". Make sure the establishment is one where she will eligible for benefits. My wife and I went through that with her mother a few years ago and it a quagmire.
The advise to contact an attorney is essential. A lawyer may seem expensive but a few mistakes with medical finances can leave someone destitute.
Click to expand...

That is not an absolute. The care center my mother in law stayed at was privately owned, but did accept Medicare and Medicaid. Best thing is to go talk to the representatives at the nursing home the family is wanting to use.
 
If you think she may outlive her funds maybe hold off on selling the house as I believe you can keep your primary residence and a vehicle valued at less than $6000 or so. Yes talk to an attorney. A Medicare or Medicaid room would be a shared room. Many facilities only have X amount of beds for that so she may have to be moved to a different one. I saw several residents who had to move out when my mom was in a facility. Get financial power of attorney and healthcare power of attorney if you don't have them.
 
painttoad said:
that's a bummer man. i have no idea how it all works but i promised my mom that i would not put her in a nursing home with the clause 'as long as i am physically able to care for her.' (i've got my own issues)

i hope that i can keep that promise.

best of luck to you.
Click to expand...

I told myself the same thing when my mom got sick. No nursing home, period. Not sure if i overestimated myself or underestimated her disease.

Just over 4 years into it i was falling apart. No sleep, no real contact with the outside world, it really took its toll physically, emotionally and financially. I finally came to the realization that I wasn't able to keep up with everything she needed.

Some of my favorite later memories of my mother are visiting her in the nursing home. I was her son again and not the guy trying to get her to take her meds or keeping her from wandering out the front door. I wouldn't do it do it again for anyone, ever.

My thoughts are with anyone in a similar situation.
 
BmWr75 said:
Most likely is up to you and her family to liquidate her assets to pay the monthly nursing home fees.
Click to expand...
Exactly. Somebody has to take charge of all of it. In my mothers case it was me.

You need both POW to gain access to all bank accounts and start writing a big check every month. In the meantime you start liquidating things like life insurance and perhaps sell off a house. Whatever assests she has. Be sure to not give the facility a dime of your own money....that's never an option.

Eventually you get to a point where all the money is gone, from everywhere. Then you stop paying the nursing home bill and apply for Medicaid. Once accepted they will pay all the back expenses to the home. You'll be allowed to keep a small amount of her income each month to help buy personal items, and the rest of her income will go to the home.

The key is to get a nursing home that accepts Medicaid. A lot of them do not.
 
@jcamero - do you have power of attorney (POA)? Over finances? Over medical decisions? Where's her husband (I'm assuming he passed)?

Sounds like mom is of sound mind. Still, you need to set up POA. Yeah, you can have mom sign everything, but you're eventually gonna need a POA.

Mom's will needs to be located and looked at too.

You need to look at the nursing home contract. My mom's had a buy-in and then we paid a monthly services charge. When she passed, we got 90 percent of the buy-in back per the contract. But that was contingent on someone new moving in, so that took over a year and her assets were tied up. There's a glut of senior living spaces here in Northern Virginia. Stripping old folks of their assets and milking their insurance is big business.

Basically, the nursing home bleeds her of her assets and then more Medicaid kicks in. That's the business model.

Best of luck. BTW, I'm a lawyer and recently dealt with my mother (dementia) in a nursing home after dad (cancer) died. Both were buried in Arlington Cemetery last September (dad was an officer in Vietnam). My lazy-ass sister didn't do jack sh!t, so I was stuck managing both parents and their affairs. It's a lot of work and heartache and I feel for you.

Ken
 
There will be someone at the facility who will handle your concerns. Informing you of steps to take.
Renting her home and using the income a possibility? Retirement? IRA?

When we sold my mother in laws home we did all related paperwork. They waited for it to happen and then took the check.
 
Oerets said:
There will be someone at the facility who will handle your concerns. Informing you of steps to take.
Renting her home and using the income a possibility? Retirement? IRA?

When we sold my mother in laws home we did all related paperwork. They waited for it to happen and then took the check.
Click to expand...

Always nice when the fox gives me advice on how to sell the family henhouse.
 
Adaboy5 said:
Go and speak with the Social Workers at potential nursing homes.
Click to expand...
I briefly spoke with the social worker. Pardon the language, but what a Bitch she was to me. She didn't want to talk to me because I wasn't on her contact list. I explained who I was, and I better be on her list, (I was on it last year while my Mom was there for rehab after another fall).
KeninDC said:
@jcamero - do you have power of attorney (POA)? Over finances? Over medical decisions? Where's her husband (I'm assuming he passed)?

Sounds like mom is of sound mind. Still, you need to set up POA. Yeah, you can have mom sign everything, but you're eventually gonna need a POA.

Mom's will needs to be located and looked at too.

You need to look at the nursing home contract. My mom's had a buy-in and then we paid a monthly services charge. When she passed, we got 90 percent of the buy-in back per the contract. But that was contingent on someone new moving in, so that took over a year and her assets were tied up. There's a glut of senior living spaces here in Northern Virginia. Stripping old folks of their assets and milking their insurance is big business.

Basically, the nursing home bleeds her of her assets and then more Medicaid kicks in. That's the business model.

Best of luck. BTW, I'm a lawyer and recently dealt with my mother (dementia) in a nursing home after dad (cancer) died. Both were buried in Arlington Cemetery last September (dad was an officer in Vietnam). My lazy-ass sister didn't do jack sh!t, so I was stuck managing both parents and their affairs. It's a lot of work and heartache and I feel for you.

Ken
Click to expand...
No POA over finances, My sister has Medical POA. I seriously doubt Mom can make any decisions on her own, (she has dementia). BTW, Dad Passed in 2008 from a brain bleed. I think my sister and I will have an appointment with the business manager very soon.
 
jcamero said:
I briefly spoke with the social worker. Pardon the language, but what a Bitch she was to me. She didn't want to talk to me because I wasn't on her contact list. I explained who I was, and I better be on her list, (I was on it last year while my Mom was there for rehab after another fall).

No POA over finances, My sister has Medical POA. I seriously doubt Mom can make any decisions on her own, (she has dementia). BTW, Dad Passed in 2008 from a brain bleed. I think my sister and I will have an appointment with the business manager very soon.
Click to expand...

Social workers. I kept them at arm's length with my mom. I was nice but matter-of-fact. They may be stupid, but they have the power of the state behind them.

Depending on your mom's level of dementia and if she trusts you, it is possible to get her to sign a durable power of attorney document. Especially if everyone in your family is in agreement. I cannot overemphasize how important this will be when the dementia advances. Huge.
 
KeninDC said:
Social workers. I kept them at arm's length with my mom. I was nice but matter-of-fact. They may be stupid, but they have the power of the state behind them.

Depending on your mom's level of dementia and if she trusts you, it is possible to get her to sign a durable power of attorney document. Especially if everyone in your family is in agreement. I cannot overemphasize how important this will be when the dementia advances. Huge.
Click to expand...
1000% on this.

Do it now. I've been there. And w/o Power of Attorney, it will be one ugly stressful struggle to manage affairs.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom