"Nonstop smile. Nonstop music" no more

[fotno]

...That was when a teacher had permission to swat you if you got out of line and you had to be at least 20 blocks away from home before neighborhood mothers didn't know your name. First and last RC

When I was in high school I rode with a neighbor's son back and forth to school. One day I decided I'd sneak a bummed cigarette in Craig's car on the way home, which was about a 15 mile trip.

My Mom met me at the door and asked; "Anything you'd like to tell me?" I knew enough to play dumb, but it got me no where. Before I could make it home that day, someone had called my Mom and told her they had seen me smoking a cigarette.

I was P.O'd at the time, but I look back now and realize that not only was my Mom concerned about my well being, so was one of the folks in our community. I treasure those memories, and thinking of the times my folks were worried about me, makes me miss my Mom and Dad even more.

 

[DENNYDOG]

On a lighter note you have a beautiful cat Bozz. My Graycie is always here to give me love.

I think even as adults we can do things to others without even knowing it. Especially with people everyone might not like at work. It's tough. Some people don't want to stand up for themselves and end up being a rude *sshole like the person in question.

I should look to see what that show was that I watched about kids bullying in school. I'm pretty sure I dvr'd it because I thought of my niece and nephew when I saw it.

 

[doucanoe]

In regard to the above quote, I fully agree with it. For me, the bullying existed, but was tempered somewhat by intervention of school staff and other parents. I had supportive, but imperfect parents (nobody is perfect - mine were just 'normal',) but lost my mother at age 11. I also had friends who stuck up for me at various times - in person friends, not 'friends' connected via Facebook or Twitter. I also could turn to neighbors and relatives for support. So while personal responsibility is key, also key is actual communication with fellow human beings which supports a life view that your actions inflict consequences on other human beings, either positive or negative. It is very easy to make someone a target when there isn't a personal connection to the person to which the consequences of the bullying are targeted, specifically cyberbulling. The victim is merely a scapegoat without a face.

.

I think you are onto something here. Maybe there are other things at work have created more of a disconnect between actions and consequences as a result of actions. I'm not anti technology but I guess that one could make a pretty strong argument that lack of personal interaction created by things like the prolific uses of the internet, gaming and texting haven't helped matters much.

Maybe kids just need to get out of the house more and be shown how to interact with the world and the people around them without the use of reality numbing BS.

Things become real pretty quickly when they are up close and personal. If not, it's just background noise.

When I was in high school I rode with a neighbor's son back and forth to school. One day I decided I'd sneak a bummed cigarette in Craig's car on the way home, which was about a 15 mile trip.

My Mom met me at the door and asked; "Anything you'd like to tell me?" I knew enough to play dumb, but it got me no where. Before I could make it home that day, someone had called my Mom and told her they had seen me smoking a cigarette.

I was P.O'd at the time, but I look back now and realize that not only was my Mom concerned about my well being, so was one of the folks in our community. I treasure those memories, and thinking of the times my folks were worried about me, makes me miss my Mom and Dad even more.

Ha! Sounds like we may have lived in the same neighborhood. Or at least they were all working from the same handbook

I know what you are saying, Steve. I consider myself very fortunate to still have my folks around to laugh together with while reminiscing about incidences similar to that. That stuff did tick me off quite a bit at the time also. At some point, I realized that did it because they cared enough to do their job as parents and pseudo parents.

It's a comforting thought to this day :yes:


RC

 

[Bozzmonster]

Dennydogg, thanks for the complement about my kitty Sabrina! Her pose in the avatar features her 'Feed me now, that is an order!' as it took place in the kitchen. Witness the tile floor.

I like the comments about firearms. I grew up around guns and so did all of my friends, used for hunting or target fun. None were locked and ammunition was within easy reach. Nobody was shot, and we, as kids, played with pretend pistols, and even sticks fashioned to act as rifles. Responsibility was taught by parents about firearms and respect was given by children to their elders.

I think the previous comment by doucanoe about kids needing to interact within their play is very key. Research has found that adults learn their imagination and negotiation skills through interpersonal play as children. Thus, that game of 'Cowboys and Indians' with negotiation on where to play, who plays the characters and the actual act of play can find positive results in the corporate boardroom.

On a final note, as I was awaiting my vehicle's return while getting a brake job today, I was talking to a lady somewhat older than I about the latest political ads that we saw on TV in the waiting room. The sniping in the ads was a lot like couple of four year olds saying one smelled like poo poo, and the other rebutting stating "uh, uh," then stating the first smelled like pee pee. It's pretty easy to make an assumption that kids bullying others are damaged themselves, and can grow up to be politicians. Think about that one!

 

[stereofanboy]

....That was when a teacher had permission to swat you if you got out of line and you had to be at least 20 blocks away from home before neighborhood mothers didn't know your name. First and last

RC

And neighborhood mothers felt no compunction about giving you a swat if you had it coming. Then, when you got home you had another swat coming for your transgression.

 

[similost]

Dennydogg, thanks for the complement about my kitty Sabrina! Her pose in the avatar features her 'Feed me now, that is an order!' as it took place in the kitchen. Witness the tile floor.

I like the comments about firearms. I grew up around guns and so did all of my friends, used for hunting or target fun. None were locked and ammunition was within easy reach. Nobody was shot, and we, as kids, played with pretend pistols, and even sticks fashioned to act as rifles. Responsibility was taught by parents about firearms and respect was given by children to their elders.

I think the previous comment by doucanoe about kids needing to interact within their play is very key. Research has found that adults learn their imagination and negotiation skills through interpersonal play as children. Thus, that game of 'Cowboys and Indians' with negotiation on where to play, who plays the characters and the actual act of play can find positive results in the corporate boardroom.

On a final note, as I was awaiting my vehicle's return while getting a brake job today, I was talking to a lady somewhat older than I about the latest political ads that we saw on TV in the waiting room. The sniping in the ads was a lot like couple of four year olds saying one smelled like poo poo, and the other rebutting stating "uh, uh," then stating the first smelled like pee pee. It's pretty easy to make an assumption that kids bullying others are damaged themselves, and can grow up to be politicians. Think about that one!

Killer post..

You said what I was trying to get at when I talked about us working it out, and until you mentioned how complex we would get as kids working out how our game of cops and robbers was going to go down... CLASSIC!!!!

It's not like that today...

Somewhere in the family archives is a picture of me. My grandfathers first grand kid... a mini baseball bat he turned on his lathe for me, and a redwood sword he made in the other hand..

I've also got a cool black powder cannon sitting in my dinning room he turned out of a tractor axle.

With these things they gave us, they taught us respect and proper use...

How many of us used to carry pocket knives we got for our 10th birthday?

 

[jdrum1]

I have been teaching for a couple years, and have to say I have been surprised at how accepting the average student is. There was very little tolerance of kids who were different in my educational experience (very small town).

Stories like this don’t corroborate it, but I think there is hope.

 

[HepcatWilly]

I would have to agree with you jdrum1, that's my experience working with kids, too. There's a lot of tolerance and optimism, most want to change the world for the better.

I think there is a growing disparity between the decent, normal kids and the ones who, having too little authority in their lives, become sociopaths.

 

[HepcatWilly]

Somewhere in the family archives is a picture of me. My grandfathers first grand kid... a mini baseball bat he turned on his lathe for me, and a redwood sword he made in the other hand..

I've also got a cool black powder cannon sitting in my dinning room he turned out of a tractor axle.

With these things they gave us, they taught us respect and proper use...

How many of us used to carry pocket knives we got for our 10th birthday?

Similost, that's just it. You had grandparents, uncles, family friends and neighbors who acted as authority figures to guide you. They took the time to look after you, look out for you, and kick your butt if need be.

I spent a lot of time with my 7-year old son today, more so than usual, and I think this thread may have been an influence.

After soccer we practiced his kicks and goaltending, hit a couple of estate sales, went to the toy store, came home and played with army guys.

I went out for a while and when I got back he met me on the front porch in his pajamas telling me he picked out the book I would read him. As he fell asleep, he reached over and put his warm little hand in mine and told me this was the best day ever. And, when I told him how much I loved him, he told me I was the best dad ever and fell asleep. Damn, I love that kid.

 

[DENNYDOG]

I spent a lot of time with my 7-year old son today, more so than usual, and I think this thread may have been an influence.

After soccer we practiced his kicks and goaltending, hit a couple of estate sales, went to the toy store, came home and played with army guys.

I went out for a while and when I got back he met me on the front porch in his pajamas telling me he picked out the book I would read him. As he fell asleep, he reached over and put his warm little hand in mine and told me this was the best day ever. And, when I told him how much I loved him, he told me I was the best dad ever and fell asleep. Damn, I love that kid.

You just made my day right there and the whole point for starting this thread. :yes: Thanks for sharing!

Denny

 

[HepcatWilly]

And I thank you Denny, for making me slow down a bit and notice that fragile little boy who needs Dad's attention just as much as he needs air to breathe. I thought I spent a lot of time with him, but I was always distracted, never really zeroed in on him, do you know what I mean?

 

[DENNYDOG]

Yes I think I do.

I found a link to the video I was talking about earlier. A great video I think should be watched together with the family.

Dateline NBC
Dateline NBC: The bystander effect of bullies
AIR DATE: Sat, 09/11/10
SEASON 910: EPISODE 0911

"When Dateline puts its hidden cameras on kids confronted by a bully, how will they react while their own parents watch from behind the scenes? Find out what happens in this emotional experiment on Monday, Sept. 13, at 10pm/9c. (Dateline NBC)"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/39106685#39106685

 

[grillebilly]

this kinda stuff just breaks my heart.

 

[Caminokid]

I think kids have this "you can't touch me attitude" nowadays. Back in the good ol' days a teacher or whoever could give a kid a good woopin' if they saw someone causing trouble. They would get a lawsuit filed against them if that ever happened today.

The sad thing is this is the fourth time this has happened in this suburb in the last two years.

There was also we would fight back too. These kids today are taught to be sissys if you ask me. They run in gangs...thinking no one can touch them. What these kids need is to have their heads kicked in once or twice a week and they will stop it. Thats how it stopped for me in school. No one bullied me by the time I was in Jr high. 4 kids used to bully me till I snapped one day. Caught each one of them one by one and kicked the sh!t out of them. They were the baddest in school till that point. Then afterwards....if anyone tried to bully me...it was on. I made those kids respect me. We need to take our kids back to that...and not involved the police. If some kid bullys your kid and your kid kicks that person but...well they got what was coming to them.

 

[Fisherdude]

The reason that children can be the cruelest of all human beings is because they are completely unaware of the potential end result of their cruelty.

 

[Bozzmonster]

The reason that children can be the cruelest of all human beings is because they are completely unaware of the potential end result of their cruelty.

This quote is so spot on, it is unbelievable.

Just revisiting this thread after spending a day with some aunts and uncles I haven't seen in some time. Heard lots of stories about my Dad's family where so and so was hit by a belt after misbehaving, or school yard fights. Nothing major in the world of abuse, but I discovered why my Dad was distant, and why he shied away from violence. I also saw the positive aspects of child vs. parent respect and the community involvement in child upbringing when communities were much closer.

 

[Fisherdude]

Gentlemen, this is obviously a very emotional, difficult topic, and the moderation team has now deleted two posts for being insensitive and/or inappropriate.

Please re-read your post and make sure you want to post it before hitting "Submit".

Thanks.

 

[Wooferman93]

You should see the crap that goes on sometimes at my highschool, socialpaths and rich freaks duking it out...then the jock straps get involved. God I hate school.

 

[usedto]

My son was in line at high school one day (I think getting book vouchers or something). There were several lines, all pretty long. He was almost to the front of his line when a couple punks came walking in the back and started pushing people in line out of the way to get to the front. They crossed a few lines, and were making quite a ruckus. People started complaining, but there wasn't much the clerks could (or would) do. They got to the line my son was in, and pushed the two girls in front of him out of the way. That was a mistake About that time, one of the assistant principals came out of a side room to see what was going on, but my son didn't see him.

A few of you have met Elliot, so you know he's not exactly "tiny" (6'2", 285#+), but he's a big teddy bear. He reached out, grabbed both of the boys by the nap of their neck, spun them around, and slid them about 20 feet across the linoleum floor. When he turned around, he saw the VP standing there. He looked at Elliot, gave him a glare, then smiled and walked back in his office.

Kinda makes you proud.:thmbsp:

 

[DENNYDOG]

Just an fiy there is a show tonight on 20/20 about bullying.