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Passing Of A Second Dad

Caminokid

Caminokid

Pioneer and Realistic
My best friends dad passed away Tuesday. He was 63. Bob wasnt a man that was frail. He wasnt sickly, weak or anything like that. He somehow fell off a porch that wasnt 12 inches off the ground. He hit head head not once but twice. The neighbor across the street found him on the sidewalk dead. I knew the man longer then I knew my own parents. He was there when my dad wasnt. He was there when me and Chuck would screw up and he would put his foot in our asses when we needed it. He was very vocal if we screwed up. He raised more then just one son.

I got the call around 5 PM. Chuck proceeded to tell me his dad was gone. I couldnt believe what i was hearing and had to ask him twice. All I said was....I am on my way. I got there and asked more about what happened. He couldnt tell me more then what he had already told me.

I got there around 1 AM. He was extremely happy that I was there. He told me he wasnt sure if he could do this without me being there. When the sun came up....we went to his dads house to find the vultures were circling already. The man hadnt been dead 24 hours yet. So Chuck let some of his dads stuff go to deserving family members.....the rest we had to fight off.

The next day we went back and started packing stuff up. One of our other good friends showed up with a trailer so we could get Bobs stuff out before the vultures made there way back. It felt wrong. Chuck was pretty upset and couldnt really be up for the job. So I did most of the packing. I had to do it. There wasnt any way it was going to get done without anyone else trying to walk off with Bobs stuff.

The funeral was a very sad one. There was lots of people there that I had had known for all my life and Bobs life too. I had to be strong to keep everyone else from losing it. Chuck hadnt really broke down yet. In 35 years I had never seen Chuck shed a tear. I knew it was coming. I watched friends and family lose it at the end before the casket was closed.

I got up and I had spoke about Bob and the things we knew and loved about him. He was a friend and second dad.

There was a few of us talking and one of the family members we was talking about revealed something we didnt know. He knew that Bob had been having headaches for a few years and there had been a blood clot in his brain. So this may have been the reason for what happened.

I am having a hard time with this. It might as well have been my dad all over again.
 
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Condolences to you and Bob. What makes this situation even more upsetting is the vultures that you've described. It's sad to think people are like that. My family will say a prayer for you and your friend.
 
That's rough. So far I haven't lost any of my "second dads" or mentors yet (not that my own father wasn't and isn't great), but I can imagine.

I offer this quote from the philosopher Santayana that I find some of some comfort and from which I can draw stoic strength when thinking/dealing with such dark thoughts and matters, even if it ultimately rests upon a fallacy (i.e., we need the "bad" in life in order to appreciate the "good" in it: hardly, that's a gross simplification at best). Still, I find it beautiful and meaningful when reflecting on such things:

"The dark background which death supplies brings out the tender colours of life in all their purity."

--- George Santayana

Take care of yourself.
 
So sorry for your loss. Thank God you were there to help support Chuck and to keep the vultures at bay.
 
So sorry to hear of another passing, Camino!

Yea, it always amazes me to see how some people swoop in to peck at the scene of a tragedy. Do be encouraged to carry on though. Prayer sent to you for comfort.

Rome
 
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So sorry! I too had a second Dad (and Mom), my best friend's parents. My Dad was kind of distant and detached and my Bob (that was his real name) was often the first to take me to someplace, ask me how I was doing in school, encouraging me when I did good and - yes - yelling at me when I needed it! Aren't people like this priceless? I wept when I heard he had passed. I wouldn't have been able to speak at his service so I give you kudos for being able to do so. You'll be on my mind the next few days and I'll send up a prayer for comfort my friend.
 
Really sorry to hear this. If your eulogy is half as eloquent as what you've written here, then there won't be a dry eye in the place.

Best wishes,

bs
 
I am really sorry to hear of your loss. You, your friend, his family and friends are in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Thanks to everyone. I am still just shocked and still wanting to believe this is a joke Bob is pulling. Chuck broke down at the funeral. I had to keep my composure to keep the others from losing it any worse then they already were. It might be days before I can really get back to things. I am trying to keep busy. But its hard.
 
My condolences man. Prayers to you and your extended family. It's hard to have someone pass so unexpectedly. Your best friend is a lucky guy. Regards, Bob
 
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