As someone who works in the Smart Metering business I can tell you the following:
A smart meter is nothing more then a remote telemetry device with some having capability of communicating with what is called the HAN (home area network) and any "control devices" or "building automation systems" that may reside on that HAN. A smart meter does NOT "manage" the power you receive from the grid - it merely reports on it and offers a communications bridge. (CAVEAT: AFAIK YMMV)
Secondly - Why we should not fear "demand response" or power curtailment.
When a utility or the regional electricity operator wants to curtail your power they target several obvious and large household draws - not the house as a whole. Those draws tend to be AC, Pool Pumps, Hot Water Heaters, Furnace etc. To do that there would have to be control devices installed on all those units or a special control thermostat - all of which you need to agree to before they can be installed or used.
Your stereo gear is of no interest unless you have monster 20x300B monoblocks and even then they would not know about it and even if they did - they can't force you to control, if you don't want. All curtailment programs follow strict and rather rigid protocols and rules - which should be publicly available. The goal of curtailment or Demand Response is three fold: 1) to respond to grid emergencies where demand is too high and the power supply cushion has eroded to the point of presenting a risk to the grid; 2) to react to peak pricing and 3) (coming soon) to help accommodate green energy power sources that are rather variable in their supply (solar/wind).
The grid must always be in balance - the demand and supply. When either the demand or supply move the grid needs to rebalance. The problem with certain generators such as nuclear or coal is that they take a long time to alter their output (assuming they can increase) so they usually provide the core baseline power and are almost never are called for to alter their output. Hydro can usually adjust fairly quickly by simply adjusting the amount of water going through the turbines (it has traditionally been the generator of choice for quick grid balancing). Other generators such as gas fired plants etc. can vary in the speed of response depending on technology, but usually they don't contribute much to the grid as a percentage. What is growing in percentage is the contribution of wind and solar, but, the wind doesn't always blow and the sun doesn't always shine so these generators are rather variable and usually can only adjust one way (down) so to accommodate more green power sources the grid needs to rely more and more on curtailment. Because, in theory, demand reduction can occur rather quickly BUT for that to be true there needs to be a vast communications network and good and extensive telemetry - hence Smart Meters. The goal of Smart Meters are to provide that network and telemetry to give the grid another, fast responding lever to ensure the reliability of the grid.
TLDR: Smart Meters typically do not control power. They certainly do not control "portions" of the house. They are there to ensure reliability of the grid and to accommodate the increase of variable green energy sources in the grid.