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Tool Definitions

Sandy G said:
My father & I are 180 degrees out of phase w/each other; He's right-handed, I'm left-handed. Not just that, I'm completely sinistrous-left-eyed & left-footed as well.
Click to expand...
Mmmm, maybe your mother isn't telling him something. Was the milkman or mail man left handed?

- Pete
 
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

ROFLMAO... In spite of it being almost too predictable, that was one of the funniest things I've read in ages (including some of the added comments in the thread). Laughed my guts out, so to speak, and am going to share it with my brothers and some friends. THANKS for a much-welcomed hearty laugh! :thmbsp: :D
 
A long time ago when I couldn't spring for a set of real Vise-Grips I bought a set of Sears copies. These were 2 tools in 1 - a blood blister raiser & Oh-**** tool.
 
Doesn't the release lever on the Sears "locking pliers" go in the other direction or something? I remember them being kind of funky compaired to the real deal.

- Pete
 
RECIPROCATING SAW - Large multipurpose electrical device that simultaneously removes the teeth from saw blades and locates live Romex runs in interior walls while evenly depositing a coat of white gypsum dust on every surface in the house.

As long as I'm here :
Worst possible advertising slogan ever

MAGNUM - the condom that separates the men from the boys
 
>RECIPROCATING SAW - Large multipurpose electrical ....... the house.

Also excellent for cutting into gas line behind what you are working on.
 
SolderIron said:
Also excellent for cutting into gas line behind what you are working on.
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OK, let's not even go there. :no: I've straightened out a few messes, made by people who didn't know the diff between black pipe & galvanized, that were just scary. :yikes:
 
WhiskeyRebel said:
As long as I'm here :
Worst possible advertising slogan ever

MAGNUM - the condom that separates the men from the boys
Click to expand...
That might depend on who your target audience is.

- Pete
 
MITER SAW: Used to widen the slots of a miter box. Occasionally cuts lumber at random angles.

BACK SAW: Used to test the scratch resistance of polyurethane floor finishes and generate blood spots on stain-grade hardwood molding.

NAIL SET: Device for making faux wormholes next to all the nails in your stain-grade hardwood molding.

PLUMB BOB: A nail set for when you really mean business.

TERMINAL CRIMPER: Used to test the number of terminals you are willing to squash sideways before you give up and use pliers.

DIAGONAL CUTTERS: Used to trim fingernails because all your fingernail clippers are blunted from cutting and stripping wires.

WIRE STRIPPERS: Used to cut the wire that you thought was one size smaller.

FLASHLIGHT: Handy place to store dead D-cells. Contains internal metal components that are used to demonstrate the Galvanic theory of corrosion.

RATCHET WRENCH: Used to measure the angular clearance between the socket you selected and the nut you placed it on.

DEEP WELL SOCKET: Mostly used to play bottleneck guitar, also handy for sucking out collapsed plastic tweeter domes.

DRAIN SNAKE: Used to stir up the gunk until the house smells bad enough for you to be willing to pay the plumber.

CHALK LINE: Device used to locate the small child you turned your back on "just for a second". See also PAINT THINNER, EXACTO KNIFE, PLASTIC TARP, DUCT TAPE, etc.
 
MULTIMETER: Device used in 'continuity' mode to generate piercing beeps that infuriate your coworkers during those lulls when you have no voice mail messages to check on your speakerphone.

TAP: Used to plug the bottom 2/3 of a pilot hole. Made of a metal that is harder than any drill bit ever created.
 
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