Let me try to clear a few things up.
I have no problem with people owning expensive gear. And the notion of "mine's better than yours" is more than silly, it's sad.
As we are unique individuals, we all approach this thing we love, listening to music, in our own way. It doesn't matter how much we pay for the gear so long as we are enjoying the music. Music does have a sensual quality that better gear can bring out. There's a reason we are still talking about tubes vs. solid state vs. Class D, vs... or vinyl vs. digital... or open baffle vs. monitor/sub vs. planer magnetic vs. electrostatic vs ???
I've always been of limited financial means. For me to attend audio events featuring $80,000+ systems that are vastly beyond my means has little real value to me. I've been at this hobby since Nixon was president. I've attended any number of hi-end shows and experienced truly legendary systems. I'm an
active acoustic musician and my wife is a
professional classical violinist. I've done
location recording of chamber music and other things for almost 40 years now. By this point I've formed a pretty notion of what it is I like in a sound system. Like most of us, my opinions favor certain kinds of gear over others.
Listening to extreme systems is of value because it gives you a reference. You get to experience what that gear does and form your own opinions as to what you like about it and do not like about it. I remember the time about 20 years ago I heard the big Infinity Reference system at a show. It was in a large hallway that was a space probably 50 feet by 60 feet in size. Much larger than a home listening space. The first thing I heard was a large orchestral thing, which sounded very good. A symphony is a large ensemble and with the speakers sitting 12 feet apart in that large space, you got the impression there was an orchestra there. Cool. But then they played a small band jazz piece and the bass player sounded like he was 10 feet high and 8 feet wide. Not good.
But being of limited means, I've always been focused upon getting the most value for my limited audio dollar. It takes time to learn what is out there and where I can put my dollars to best use. That's why I like to visit the homes of other audiophiles and see what they've got and why they made the choices they did. My favorite audio event is the annual Burning Amp show here in the San Francisco area where all the DIY guys show up and you get to see examples of loving craftsmanship and innovation. The more I learn the more I can hopefully make better choices in what I spend on.
I agree that many are capable of being snobs in either direction - up or down the monetary scale. Many people are enamored of exotic speaker cables, interconnects, power conditioners and even power cords, all of which can get quite expensive. I recently took the leap to try out some custom made interconnects and was surprised to hear what I thought was a real difference and wrote about it in another forum. I was comparing them (at $60 for a 1 meter pair) to some old Monster M1000 cables I've had for 30 years. It was my expectation that I would hear no difference, but when I felt I had heard a distinct improvement and said so... Wow... I wasn't ready for the firestorm that erupted.
I'm sure there are plenty of people in this forum who pooh-pooh the notion that interconnects and such can make a difference. I like to think of myself as a skeptic as well, but I'm also willing to listen and make my own call on it. And frankly, cost is part of the equation. I'm OK with dropping $60 on a pair of cables. I'm not OK with dropping $hundred$ or $thousand$ on cables because my budget just can't do it. But if y'all have the bread, by all means spend it.
There is value in owning certain classic pieces of gear - like a Mac 275. It's a very good looking piece and one of its best assets is that it holds its value. Drop $5500 on properly maintained Mac 275 and 5 years from now, you'll be able to re-sell it for at least $5500 and probably more. But drop $5500 on a new solid state amp and 3 years from now you'd be lucky to get $3000 for it.
On the other hand there are those who say that Bob Latino's ST-120 is actually a better performing amp than the Mac 275 and you can get it pre-assembled for about half of what the Mac 275 costs you. But try to sell it 3 years from now and you'd do well to get $1500 for it.
In the end, do you enjoy what you hear? Do I? That's really all that counts.
In my own choices I've leaned towards trying to get value in what I can afford. Living in the San Francisco area I'm fortunate to be local to the home of Siegfried Linkwitz. A friend who is a designer and builder of loudspeakers got me hip to Linkwitz. We went over to his home and listened to his Orion system at the time. I was shocked at how good it sounded, and in fact, how much the tonal balance was like my current curved diaphram full-range electrostatics I had been running. But the imaging was superior and they took up a lot less space. In my little home, that was important.
The Linkwitz systems aren't cheap. They're a huge commitment because they're mulit-amplified and have relatively poor resale value for a variety of reasons. But they are something I can afford. Some guys drive a $40,000 car and run a $1500 audio system. I've always been one to drive something like my 19 year old Camry, which is now probably worth $2000 and run a rig totaling around $8500 or so.
The San Francisco Audio Society seems to largely hold events in audio dealerships, or at homes with systems in excess of $40,000 with manufacturers reps presenting some new exotic piece of gear that is far, far out of what I can spend. I just don't see much value in events like that for me. I much more enjoy meeting other audiophiles, visiting their homes and learning about the gear they have, listening to it and hearing why they made the choices they did.
I suppose cost is also part of the equation. I've been to homes of SFAS members who have the $8000 turntables and such. The choices they make and why they made them are not things I can learn from because they're far out of my price range and guys like that really have little interest in rigs like mine. We just seem to travel in different worlds.
One of the most musical systems I've ever heard belongs to a local audiophile who runs a Thorens turntable with a Technics EPA500 arm, a Mac C22, and Marantz 8B driving a 40 year old pair of KEF Calindas, which if you can find them on the used market, sell for about $400/pair. It's experiences like that which I cherish and attending events which are little more than a sales presentation just don't cut it for me. The point of me trying to put together a Facebook group was to facilitate local audiophiles meeting each other and having the kind of experience I had hearing those 40 year old KEF Calindas being driven by a classic tube rig.