Ask a stupid question, get a ridiculous answer

Because they affect the cellular composition of the brain.

Why don't I ever see locomotives in training films?
 
Because locomotion in training pants is the viral video today.

I saw one pic of Kim Kardashian, why didn't I see them all?
 
The Internet purged itself. It could only take so much.

Weren't the Kardashians a hostile humanoid race in one of the Star Trek series?
 
Yes! They were based at Kardashia Prime but were finally stymied when they tried to take over the Planet Bezoar. They were attracted there by a stable wormhole that looked peculiarly like Queen Kardashia but more atractive. The Bezoarans finally were able to beat them off with help from Deep Space Brine, a huge pickle factory disguised as a Space Station and cheap motel. It was known that Kardashians loved huge pickles and engorged themselves on Kosher Dills till they could stomach no more and shriveled up despite massive botox injections and odd round the clock subspace selfie media coverage.

When the Kardashian empire fell, the market for Lululemon backloaded starships and yoga pants collapsed because the Big Butt Bang theory was finally refuted.

In related news, in the new timeline, Captain Kirk's latest message was "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Ok, back to our regular questions.

Why are there 12 days of Christmas but not 7 days of Hanukkah?
 
More than 7 days of Jewish Mother cooking will spoil people for the other 51 weeks.

(Mech-thanks for detailed and insightful analysis of DS9 events!!!) :thmbsp:

Why wasn't Seven of Nine designated Thirty Six / Twenty Five / Thirty Eight of Nine?
 
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Because they went to the metric system and are debating centimeters vs. millimeters.

Why aren't tape measures used to measure tape?
 
10th Chapter of Joshua.

Now that the USA and Kuba are on speaking terms, will Castro return that garden hose he borrowed back in 1959?
 
It will be replaced during happy hour by a free Mojito of equal or greater value.

Should we change from LED lamps to tar torches because there's no fuel like an old fuel?
 
That would be a fuelish thing to do. I think you have been LED astray.

If you've ever been in Cahoots with someone, did they have any good restaurants there?
 
I've only been to the bad restaurants they have in Digestion.

If you've been in Consolable, have you felt better when you left?
 
You can tuna TV to a Christmas program, but a marlin is a bill fish, so it belongs on the January credit card statement.

If April showers bring May flowers, what does Christmas cactus bring?
 
Monarch Butterflies on their migration South.

If all these sanitizers and stuff kill germs, why don't they kill me? (I'm not complaining, just curious.)
 
Because when you use the stuff, you get covered in a protective layer of dead germs.

If you are the only one you see eye-to-eye with, does your nose get in the way?
 
You have to sing until you're red in the face and your bank balance is in the black.

If something gave me a start, what would give me a finish besides Howards?
 
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