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Corporate spin - phrases that make your eyes roll

Here is one that i particularly dispise...

"It is company policy to xyxyxy."

Talk about the ultimate b.s. line to justify doing/not doing something without having to give the real reason behind it all.
 
Remember when there was just "Black Friday"? Then "Black Weekend" came about. Now there's "Black Week".

Maybe "Black Month" is on the horizon...but where does it stop?

Q
 
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fredcohiba said:
At a previous company we used to play BS bingo. When you thought you heard all the phrases you would whisper out Bulls$?@.


Drive the bus
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Driving the bus for us was being so drunk you clung to the bowl rim of the toilet, like a steering wheel, when you were vomiting into it- hence the saying 'driving the porcelain bus'.

eww.
 
We are doing all we can do at this time researching the possibilities....

The military has a few famous quotes of their own like, when a person dies while fighting for his or her country they are called a casualty. I’d like to know what is so casual about a 7.62mm AK-47 bullet ending a persons life ????

Or, we just don’t know the science behind that yet....

Or when asking about UFO’s, the reply of an ignorant reflection of social stigmatism !! Your kidding right !!!
 
restorer-john said:
Ah, the old days... :)
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Yep. That's when I named that vile stuff "Southern Discomfort." :D A few shots of that and seven Labatt's within three hours...the stuff of youth.

Today, it's half a cocktail and I'm ready for the couch!
 
restorer-john said:
Driving the bus for us was being so drunk you clung to the bowl rim of the toilet, like a steering wheel, when you were vomiting into it- hence the saying 'driving the porcelain bus'.

eww.
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Or... You were praying to the porcelain God whilst vomiting. Oh god...oh god......
 
sobolan said:
"human resources" It always bugged me. People became just another resource like coal or iron ore.
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We now have a "human resources" department. Most of us are refusing to "get on board" with this "latest concept".

Instead we are finding out new and interesting ways to bug the hell out of the unfortunate person (read: clueless halfwit) who landed the job.
 
"you have the right" phrase used by lawyers who want to sue on your behalf. Particularly nauseating is when the customer owes a lot of credit card debt or taxes. What they are saying is you have the right to screw people out of their money due to you living beyond your means.
Where I work the new motto is "back to good". Which means we currently suck.
 
KevinJS said:
We now have a "human resources" department. Most of us are refusing to "get on board" with this "latest concept".

Instead we are finding out new and interesting ways to bug the hell out of the unfortunate person (read: clueless halfwit) who landed the job.
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HR is a disgusting term. How dare anyone refer to people as 'resources'.

IMO 'heads' of HR departments spend all of their time putting an extra layer of b#llsh%t between the management and the workers. Completely unnecessary- all layers of management should hire and fire and build the structure around them that suits.
 
restorer-john said:
HR is a disgusting term. How dare anyone refer to people as 'resources'.

IMO 'heads' of HR departments spend all of their time putting an extra layer of b#llsh%t between the management and the workers. Completely unnecessary- all layers of management should hire and fire and build the structure around them that suits.
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Just this week, I discovered my "employment appraisal" sitting on my dispatcher's desk. It was the blank version, without any comments. I had a quick look through it, since it seemed slightly different to the version I'd been using during a brief stint as a manager. Seems HR has done a hatchet job on the form, and introduced questions that we are simply not allowed to ask. I took my red pen to it and threw it at the safety director to deal with.

Life should get interesting after Christmas, and particularly uncomfortable for the clueless halfwit, who doesn't seem to understand a few basics about getting, and keeping, work in our field of operations. I can't wait!
 
New Logo.
The company I work for has started this term to indicate the signing of a customer.
There is never a logo inside or attached to the mail.
Our corporate logo hasn't changed.
The company that chose to do business with us didn't change their logo.
I don't get it.
 
"We need a deep dive on this issue."
"Move the goalpost."
"Let's open the Kimono and see what we have."
Aaargh! :mad: "At the end of the day _____."
 
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