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Create *The* List Of How To Get Kicked Out Of A Public Place

a) Show up at a nude beach with a camera crew

b) While standing in line at the bank, start mumbling in 3 distinct voices "we can't do this!", "shut up, it's gonna be awesome", "we're gonna be rich!", then pull a ski mask down over your face

c) Take a beer, gargle with it, and dump the rest on the front of your shirt. Then walk into a Ferrari dealership and ask for a test drive

d) Bring a fully clogged toilet to Lowes, load it on a lumber cart, and push it around the store. When they ask what you are doing, tell them your toilet stopped working, and you want to return it.
 
Countryford said:
Walk into Lowes or Home Depot and actually use their display toilets, since they are closer than the restrooms.
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Don't forget to grab a roll of towels from the cleaning isle, and a magazine from the cash register rack before you head back there! Stand up when you are done, jiggle the handle and say "This thing doesn't flush worth a darn... I'm not buying it"
 
a) Go to the grocery store, buy one of those 39-cent empty gallon jugs that you are supposed to fill at the water machine, but instead, go to the food court and fill it with root beer.

b) While waiting in the airport, start doing "The Cabbage Patch" while singing "Smokin Stix" by Coolio - ("Who got the bomb? Who got the bomb? Somebody? Anybody? Who got the bomb?")
 
Go to a Chevy dealer and let your little hellions, with hard shoes, climb ALL over a $50,000 red Corvette convertible in the showroom. Wait, no, that did not work. The dealer nor the mother did anything about it. Aghhhhhh!
 
Get made up to look exactly like the CEO of a company, then walk around the building telling everyone they have the rest of the day off with pay.
 
a) Take a full 5-gallon gas can into the gas station, set it on the counter, give them the receipt. Tell them you didn't like the gas, and you want to return it.

b) Put on some gray face makeup, start coughing, walk into a buffet and say "I just got back from Sierra Leone and I don't feel so well..."
 
Be 43 years old. Go to Sports Authority with your best friend. Play a round of Wiffle Ball Home Run Derby. (Bike Rack = Home Run) 6 pitches each. Loose 3 to 5.

That didn't work.

Collect balls and put them away because somehow that was funny too.
 
CoogarXR said:
a) Take a full 5-gallon gas can into the gas station, set it on the counter, give them the receipt. Tell them you didn't like the gas, and you want to return it.

b) Put on some gray face makeup, start coughing, walk into a buffet and say "I just got back from Sierra Leone and I don't feel so well..."
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b) is a winner. :D
 
sort of related; things Skippy couldn't do in the military.
no doubt some of these will get you removed from a public place.

http://skippyslist.com/list/

"We went to the mall, and security guards followed us." (from 'Punk Rock Girl' by the Dead Milkmen.)
 
Go into the dentist office and ask to buy a tank of Nitrous Oxide.

Take a camera to a department store and ask where the ladies fitting rooms are.
 
rBuckner said:
My vote for best of show! All are pretty funny though. :D
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Thanks. I borrowed it from an email about a guy who got himself and his wife permanently banned from a target. She just didn't get that he really didn't want to be there.

All the ideas are pretty funny.
 
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