Free Style word Game: Puns, Rhymes, etc.

[SuperjazzyJa]

In light of recent developments, I thought we might have more fun with words. Feel free to make puns, rhymes and other clever use of words. Mix it up, have fun. I'll start with this:

Angus had a serious beef with the quality of the steak he bought. He was having a big barbecue with poker, so the stakes were high.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

If Juanita sold products on a wind driven boat, was she sale-ing?

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

When I asked the orange tabby if I was being too rough petting her, she looked up at me and said, "No, that's just purrfect." Then, she asked me if I knew any female humans who would lend her some purrfume.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

When the sheep told the ram that most humans in town didn't eat lamb, the ram said, "Ewe better be right."

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

When instructing her students on how to perform a mammogram, the doctor said, "You must keep abreast of changes in procedures."

 

[bobsvinyl]

Pity post.

You can marry a watermelon but you cantelope.

 

[usedto]

Did you hear about the guy who slipped and fell in the septic tank? He couldn't swim, but he went through all the movements!

 

[usedto]

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder? Got a little behind in all of his orders.

 

[usedto]

Did you hear about the lady who backed into the airplane propeller? Disaster!

 

[bobsvinyl]

Did you hear about the lady who backed into the airplane propeller? Disaster!

If you have your kitty back into the propeller, you'd have a catastrophe.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Matt has a cat got who got fat eating rat wearing a hat that was flat like a bat. The cat wears the hat to ward off the gnat while sunning on the mat.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Said the tiny critter who couldn't find any dust to eat: "I mite be in the wrong place."

 

[bobsvinyl]

Old Hee Haw joke:

Woman: "I took a bath in a tub filled with milk last night."

Man: "Was it pasteurized?

Woman: "No, it was only up to my navel."

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

If Kim has a stereo installed in her automobile, will it be a car-dashy-in?

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

If you get ants in the pants while in France, there's a good chance you'll do a crazy dance.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

If Copenhagen introduced clam flavor, would that be clam dip?

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

If the mistress of darkness became a tree hugger, you might say that she is concerned about the "Elvirament".

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

When the farmer found out that his cows were stoned, he said, "Oh dear! The steaks are high."

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

When the chef won the affection of a girl with the same first name as Ms Spelling with his chicken cacciatore, his assistant asked him, "Did you catch a Tori?"

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Hello, my name is Santa Claws. Got a problem with coal? Be bad this year and I'll poop in your stocking. See how ya like that!