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How bad do white van speakers sound?

There is a milliennium 3200 home theater system for sale on CL near me. It retails for 2995.00 but they are selling it for $800.00. And yes they spelled millennium wrong. :D
 
This probably won't go anywhere, and I'm really only posting it for shits and giggles. That said:

White van speaker contest rules:

The objective is to transform a standard pair of white van speakers into something that sounds decent.

The speakers must appear to be stock. Of course you can't usually see through the speaker cloth... If there's no speaker cloth then you're probably stuck with the original drivers, unless you can figure out a way to stuff better drivers inside the cabinets while still adhearing to the "must appear to be stock" rule...

You can spend a maximum of $50.00 for parts. (Any more and you might as well buy a better pair of speakers)

Freebies are allowed and encouraged. (perhaps those old dusty woofers in the basement/attic might fit in the cabinets)

Upon completion, the speakers will be compared to a decent pair of speakers, with several audiophiles judging sound quality.

The winner gets crowned as the Speaker God!
 
Hi,

The university I work for (I'm a contract broadcast engineer) tested a pair of Kirsch speakers. Frequency response range: 120-12,000 Hz (plus or minus 3 db). Bass and treble was judged by our listening panel as "shrill, peaky, has tubby bass almost non-existent". Makes a certain well-known name of speaker actually look superb by comparison. That name begins with B.
 
Hi,

I was lent a pair of these from the mark who purchased them. If given a chance to choose between listening to these or a ***t sandwich, I take the ***t sandwich as it has wider frequency response and less distortion. Listening to white van speakers gave me one of the worst headaches I ever experienced.
 
The folks who buy them dont know what good sound is anyway so many dont ever know if it sounds bad or not.
I have a pair of Theater Research speakers my friend gave me when I needed a system for my wife to operate (My cave system is too complicated and she wont touch it) he picked them up at a garage sale for $50 went home tore them apart to find no crossover, nothing but a hollow shell and speakers. Anyway he braced, damped the speakers placed a 1st order crossover, and installed new front and added a rear fire tweeter. They dont sound great but they dont sound bad, Liz likes how the look too so it a win win.
My friend joked he was trying to makes the worlds first "Awesome White Van speaker".....hell, maybe he did.
When he gave them to me I couldnt stop laughing to the point he may have thought I wasnt very appreciative of his efforts, once he hooked them up I gotta admit they sounded ok...but these are far from what they were out of the box.
 
I bought a pair of Bolander-Graebner 520's from this guy off craigslist for $300 - when I went to demo he offered to crank them up with a little denon receiver -the receiver didnt work though and he said it just came out of the shop (probably burned it up trying to play BG's)- he was selling them because he had a full 7 channel theater logic setup "that sounded better than the BG's did" (this guy also had 2 half dressed female maniquins standing in the entry of his house and had a full flop/hangover sweat going the entire time I was there)he offered to play the theater logics but I passed.....
 
BG makes great ribbons so you got the better end of that deal for sure!. I almost bought a pair of the 645 I think (they had the long ribbon 53in panel and a small bass box at bottom. I really like the ribbon as the 53in is the same that came in my stock VMPS speakers....but I updated the ribbons last year to the Eminent Technology model they now use along with crossover modification.
 
Years ago I received a pair for free, one with a dead woofer. I repaired and used them until I found better speakers. Then I donated them to my friends who run a local thrift. They're still rocking the employee lounge at the thrift.
 
I had white van speakers for a while in college. Acoustic Monitor Digital V or something like that. They were pretty terrible, but I also had a pair of Realistic Mach Ones that were at least decent, so the white vans didn't get a lot of play. I never knew about the white van scam until years later, i had picked them up for $20 at a yard sale. Prior to me learning about that, I had given them to a girlfriend, and now I feel really bad because she was a really good person, and didn't deserve such terrible speakers. I think she said she threw them out in a move.

All I remember about their sound is that everything sounded indistinct on them, and one of the cabinets rattled.
 
The only good thing that ever happened to me with WV speakers was I seen a set at a yard sale so I had to stop, once I realized what they were I tried to leave gracefully stating that I really wanted a turntable and not speakers. Being out to make a buck at his yard sale the gent said I have a TT also. Comes out with a almost mint (missing dustcover)Denon DP62L in a cardboard box, I couldnt believe it when I walked out of there with the Denon for 50 bucks. WooHoo
 
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